Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- Feudd
- New Trial Member
- Posts: 1
- Joined: May 10th, 2016, 4:35 am
Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
One big dilemma I've always had is related the meaning of niceness or selflessness in a way, which is something I try to be.
I try to treat everyone I meet as nicely as possible, helping them when they need help, including them when they feel left out, etc. I say try here, because I am not always successful and/or consistent in this.
But in doing this, I sometimes find people who try to take advantage of my willingness to help. Most of the time I am aware of this, but I help anyway, for reasons I will explain.
So my personal belief is that if you follow true selflessness (which is impossible but sometthing I and others might strive for) then that even means helping those that seek to take advantage of you. That's why I try to help anyone I can, even if they are bad people.
However naturally the question arises of whether its worth it.
Just wanted to see where you guys sit on this issue, and hear some views different from mine.
Thanks
- Leon
- Posts: 87
- Joined: May 17th, 2016, 1:50 pm
- Favorite Philosopher: Epictetus
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- AceOfBlades
- New Trial Member
- Posts: 13
- Joined: September 19th, 2016, 11:25 pm
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- LuckyR
- Moderator
- Posts: 7935
- Joined: January 18th, 2015, 1:16 am
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
In order to advise you correctly I need to know how you feel when you help someone who is taking advantage of you.Feudd wrote:Hi, this is my first post here so forgive me if this is a trivial question.
One big dilemma I've always had is related the meaning of niceness or selflessness in a way, which is something I try to be.
I try to treat everyone I meet as nicely as possible, helping them when they need help, including them when they feel left out, etc. I say try here, because I am not always successful and/or consistent in this.
But in doing this, I sometimes find people who try to take advantage of my willingness to help. Most of the time I am aware of this, but I help anyway, for reasons I will explain.
So my personal belief is that if you follow true selflessness (which is impossible but sometthing I and others might strive for) then that even means helping those that seek to take advantage of you. That's why I try to help anyone I can, even if they are bad people.
However naturally the question arises of whether its worth it.
Just wanted to see where you guys sit on this issue, and hear some views different from mine.
Thanks
- Misty
- Premium Member
- Posts: 5934
- Joined: August 10th, 2011, 8:13 pm
- Location: United States of America
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
It is not being 'nice' to help someone you know is using you as this will help them perfect their abuse of you and other people.Feudd wrote:Hi, this is my first post here so forgive me if this is a trivial question.
One big dilemma I've always had is related the meaning of niceness or selflessness in a way, which is something I try to be.
I try to treat everyone I meet as nicely as possible, helping them when they need help, including them when they feel left out, etc. I say try here, because I am not always successful and/or consistent in this.
But in doing this, I sometimes find people who try to take advantage of my willingness to help. Most of the time I am aware of this, but I help anyway, for reasons I will explain.
So my personal belief is that if you follow true selflessness (which is impossible but sometthing I and others might strive for) then that even means helping those that seek to take advantage of you. That's why I try to help anyone I can, even if they are bad people.
However naturally the question arises of whether its worth it.
Just wanted to see where you guys sit on this issue, and hear some views different from mine.
T hanks
Letting yourself be used by another person is not being 'nice' to yourself.
You say you help people even if 'they are bad people' - It depends on what kind of help you are giving them that makes your help a nice gesture.
The eyes can only see what the mind has, is, or will be prepared to comprehend.
I am Lion, hear me ROAR! Meow.
- Felix
- Posts: 3117
- Joined: February 9th, 2009, 5:45 am
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
So then you have an ulterior motive for your niceness? Are you for striving for sainthood or what?However naturally the question arises of whether its worth it.
- Skydude
- Posts: 67
- Joined: April 18th, 2016, 2:55 pm
- Favorite Philosopher: Immanuel kant
- Location: Haleiwa hawaii
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- Sy Borg
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14995
- Joined: December 16th, 2013, 9:05 pm
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- Skydude
- Posts: 67
- Joined: April 18th, 2016, 2:55 pm
- Favorite Philosopher: Immanuel kant
- Location: Haleiwa hawaii
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
-
- Posts: 239
- Joined: May 7th, 2011, 3:23 pm
- Favorite Philosopher: Greta
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- Skydude
- Posts: 67
- Joined: April 18th, 2016, 2:55 pm
- Favorite Philosopher: Immanuel kant
- Location: Haleiwa hawaii
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
-
- Posts: 1500
- Joined: December 22nd, 2013, 4:57 pm
- Favorite Philosopher: Eric Hoffer
- Location: California, US
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
- Andy7671
- New Trial Member
- Posts: 2
- Joined: December 13th, 2016, 4:58 pm
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
A meth addicted ex soldier decorated for valour whose lost all social skills or a polite but lazy college dropout.
It makes me feel good to give or help. If that person is sullen upon receipt of my deeds, truthfully I would probably think "Ungrateful %^&*" when the reality is they are passed caring about food or warmth and deserve more compassion. Maybe my actions are just to make me feel better about myself.
- WhereIwant2b
- New Trial Member
- Posts: 3
- Joined: February 2nd, 2017, 9:51 am
Re: Niceness vs being taken advantage of?
Maybe principles on issues rather than personal nicety needs cultivation. Then giving becomes something you do because you believe it is right and you wish to approve of your own behavior. If the consequences of living up to your own standards is that sometimes it is abused, it will not distress you because your goal is strictly your own behavior and you can take satisfaction from your success. The abuser is not your responsibility and you will feel free to end contact if needed without much worrying about it.
2023/2024 Philosophy Books of the Month
Mark Victor Hansen, Relentless: Wisdom Behind the Incomparable Chicken Soup for the Soul
by Mitzi Perdue
February 2023
Rediscovering the Wisdom of Human Nature: How Civilization Destroys Happiness
by Chet Shupe
March 2023