"It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them" -Deuteronomy 32:35-
Which vengeful and egotistical god said that? I had heard that some other god recommended forgiving seventy times seven i.e. for ever
I suppose if one does genuinely believe in God/ fate/ karma, then it must make things a lot easier.. i.e. "Don't worry, he will get what he deserves". It is hard to distract ourselves from our own self righteousness and not to prove someone wrong. I don't just want to be right, I want to rub their ignorant, nasty face in it sometimes, especially when they are rude and arrogant. But that, of course, isn't very Christian (ie compassionate/ forgiving), let alone lady like. And has the bitter pill that I must then acknowledge that I am just like them- the one I have been stewing over and despising (in my mind)!
I am learning to hold my tongue, with age. It's just not worth biting back, even though it would be so enjoyable, in the moment. People are unfortunately more objectionable the more ignorant or distressed or unwell they are. That is why being a carer is so hard. It isn't the physical side which is hard, it is the emotional abuse and depression involved; the overwhelming ungratefulness and the sense of hopelessness that brings. You see the very worst of humanity and its loss.
I 'pray' for compassion- not just for others' bitterness, but for my own; for all the hatred that wells up in me, and for that of other people, even when that compassion falls on deaf ears. Then I pray that I will not become conceited or condescending, too full of myself and my wonderful compassion, and so on and so on. It seems an especially thankless task in our digital age, when we are so aware of everyone's woes.. but in real terms, I think humans are suffering less, and at least acting less violently/ vengeful overall. These times of change are bound to be tumultuous but they can also settle just as quickly.
We have at least started work on the physical problems we face, but the mental issues are dragging behind. A lot more needs to be done to ensure that children are 'trained' emotionally and behaviourally. Parenting classes and mindfulness meditation classes should be compulsory from the early years. I have come to meditation very late, and so I struggle to keep up regular practice, but I am like a different person when I'm in to it; completely chilled and reflective, light hearted and open. All the nonsense is so easy to let go. If it was taught in schools, along with the 3 R's, I'm sure the world would be a better place.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts". -Bertrand Russell