Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
See, many people who are successful in life also take pleasure in lording it over subordinates. Cruel bosses are a chiche, and in many cases that's not so much because of inferiority complexes and weaknesses but because of the exhilaration they feel by grinding the peons under their heels.
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
1. to appear strong (and a worthy mate) or to intimidate competitive peers , and
2. to scare away threats and to manipulate the exploitable.
The above covers humans and other animals.
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
- Atreyu
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
- LaVie
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
In my experience physical toughness is limited by physicality, but mental and especially emotional toughness can be accomplished (for the purposes of this discussion) by average folks. So the best adaptation for the physically weak is NOT to bluff physical toughness, but to develop true mental or emotional toughness.
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
Certain sections of it really do seem to be.LaVie wrote:Sounds simple, but perhaps humanity is more simple than we'd like to believe?
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
Thank you for the insightful comments. I feel that we have to deal with a lot of challenges, and cultivating that resilience can really help us survive and even thrive.LuckyR wrote:Well, the OP is about psudo tough guys acting tough and failing. In other words bluffing. Bluffing is a perfectly reasonable technique for the weak to survive. True they run the risk of being called out and suffering because of it, but then they have a chance of being picked on if they act weak.
In my experience physical toughness is limited by physicality, but mental and especially emotional toughness can be accomplished (for the purposes of this discussion) by average folks. So the best adaptation for the physically weak is NOT to bluff physical toughness, but to develop true mental or emotional toughness.
Mental toughness seems like an extension of physical toughness, which has in many (but not all) modern contexts replaced its function. Surely a lot of relics from our time as primarily physical beasts remain in our behavior.
People who act tough often have inaccurate perceptions, of themselves and others. They may falsely believe that showing aggression will get them respect and other desired outcomes, and then fail to do so.
Maybe we can show people more benevolent ways of acting.
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
I believe we are mixing definitions. For example, if a guy is physically imposing and displays an aggressive attitude yet does not actually perform any physical violence, is this guy physically tough? Well there is not enough information, he could be physically tough or he could be bluffing physical toughness. His ability to bluff is enhanced because many equate size with toughness, though the two are unrelated.Eagle wrote:Thank you for the insightful comments. I feel that we have to deal with a lot of challenges, and cultivating that resilience can really help us survive and even thrive.LuckyR wrote:Well, the OP is about psudo tough guys acting tough and failing. In other words bluffing. Bluffing is a perfectly reasonable technique for the weak to survive. True they run the risk of being called out and suffering because of it, but then they have a chance of being picked on if they act weak.
In my experience physical toughness is limited by physicality, but mental and especially emotional toughness can be accomplished (for the purposes of this discussion) by average folks. So the best adaptation for the physically weak is NOT to bluff physical toughness, but to develop true mental or emotional toughness.
Mental toughness seems like an extension of physical toughness, which has in many (but not all) modern contexts replaced its function. Surely a lot of relics from our time as primarily physical beasts remain in our behavior.
People who act tough often have inaccurate perceptions, of themselves and others. They may falsely believe that showing aggression will get them respect and other desired outcomes, and then fail to do so.
Maybe we can show people more benevolent ways of acting.
OTOH, what is mental toughness? Is it having the savvy to bluff physical toughness well? Is it doing what it takes to avoid conflict and survive in a physically hostile environment with little physicality? Or is it psyching one's self up to maximize one's limited physicality to actually prevail in a physical contest? Perhaps it is sticking with a physical conflict ignoring pain, and winning a possibly Pyrrhic victory on the physical battlefield, while at a physical disadvantage. Perhaps it is being smart enough to bring a gun to a knife fight.
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
- LuckyR
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
Mikel wrote:I always noticed that the school yard bullies were never good at their studies. They earned lower grades when they actually bothered showing up to school, and they usually came from the poorer sections of town. I never saw a kid who did well in school bullying anyone. Could it be (as I believe it is) that since the bullying kids aren't as smart as other kids, maybe deep down they know it, and try to use the idea of overcompensation for their mental failings? I know of at least two bullies that act exactly the same now (30 years after graduating high school) as they did in school, mouthy and arrogant little jerks that have never managed to hold any kind of simple menial job for very long. In school, they were always making fun of the kids that did well, maybe trying to belittle their brain power because of their lack of brain power. Does anybody else agree with me, and do you know any folks like I'm describing? I'd almost bet that you do!!
Something tells me that the Duke lacrosse team had perfectly fine grades...
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
- Berthold
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
- LuckyR
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Re: Causes of Self-Destructive Attempts at Toughness
Boys being "tested" by their fathers in the ways you describe is way, way older and more ubiquitous than Apartheid. In fact if you look at it historically, you would be statistically accurate to call that sort of thing "normal" and recent advances in this area a mere blip on the radar screen of history.Berthold wrote:If growing up during the Apartheid era has anything to go by, for the vast majority of us white males were forced to believe that boys liked cars and bikes, excelled at rugby, and asserted themselves using intimidation and brute force. Hierarchies were fostered on the basis of physical aggression. For the majority of us physical abuse by our fathers was viewed as discipline and from an early age we perceived the merits of this behaviour, namely that it commanded respect and gained power and any overt displays of fear or sadness were perceived as weaknesses. Not only did it teach us this but that anger and frustration due to the abuse we received could be taken out on others. Consider this a confounding variable to your analysis.
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