philosophy of love, marriage, sexuality

Chat about anything your heart desires here, just be civil. Factual or scientific questions about philosophy go here (e.g. "When was Socrates born?"), and so most homework help questions belong here. Note, posts in the off-topic section will not increase new members post counts. This includes the introductions and feedback sections.
Post Reply
Eden
Posts: 2
Joined: September 25th, 2010, 5:55 am

philosophy of love, marriage, sexuality

Post by Eden »

Hello ladies and gentlemen.

I am one of those people who take their philosophy seriously and often turn to such exceptional persons as Mister Nietzsche or Monsieur Camus for personal growth or dilemmas and struggles.

Lately I have been going through immense dissatisfaction with my "very long"-term relationship which I am hoping to mend. As a 25 year old ice cube concealed in female form, I usually try and succeed in keeping my thoughts, feelings, excitements and problems to myself - and find that reading something really good will work so much better than talking.

Hence, I am looking for suggestions for authors to read who have taken their time to ponder upon the philosophy of love and sexuality. Has anyone with a "bad-ass" attitude towards life such as the above mentioned written anything on these things we may often dismiss for being too worldly?

Why is it that anything about love and affection has been diminished to trivial and ephemeral instances of popular culture? And why can one not encounter topics of human sexuality anywhere except in feminist theories and exposure/profit-driven works of popular culture?

Wow. I am basically looking for a self-help book on love and marriage that is sophisticated and smart and unlike every self-help book ever written about anything.
Kurticus
Posts: 43
Joined: September 20th, 2010, 2:13 pm

Post by Kurticus »

One quote comes to mind though I forget exactly how it goes but I'll try.

The path to enlightenment is lonely and painfull and offers nothing in return, yet rewards you greatly.

Something like that.

The exploitation/manipulation of baser instincts to drive our culture has alot to do with what you've experienced, IMO anyway.
User avatar
Juice
Posts: 1996
Joined: May 8th, 2009, 10:24 pm

Post by Juice »

May I suggest the Bible and the Kama Sutra, worked for me.

May I also suggest that if you feel you're an "ice cube" in female form that you find someone who can melt away the ice and leave you with a more complete feminine concept.

Unfortunately, many women have been betrayed by the ideological progressive feminist who would convince women that equality extends beyond manmade concepts into the biological realm. Sounds to me that you need a real man who can and will take charge.

The universe is based on opposites and there is no greater expression of opposites than that exists between man and woman, where together truth exists and can be actualized through the realization of manliness and womanhood, and the necessary dichotomies between the two.

Just gotta be able to go with the flow. If your looking for step by step self actualization I doubt that any kind of philosophy can help since there is no set answer or Truth, as of yet.

The path to enlightenment first starts with finding the path.
When everyone looks to better their own future then the future will be better for everyone.

An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.
C. S. Lewis

Fight the illusion!
User avatar
Zewpals
Premium Member
Posts: 184
Joined: June 16th, 2010, 11:25 am

Post by Zewpals »

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

I believe Aristotle wrote "Love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

I define love as valuing the well being and happiness of someone else more than one's own.

I know you said that reading something really good usually helps you, but if you agree with any of the above statements, I believe that may just be suppressing your doubts and negative feelings instead of solving the real problem. If love involves two people, then would it not make sense to work with your spouse to fix the love instead of trying to fix it on your own? I would strongly suggest talking with your spouse and perhaps finding someone to help direct both of you in the right direction, such as a counselor, if you are interested in keeping this ember burning.
I love you! :)
SHAHIN GHAEMMAGHAMI
Posts: 109
Joined: August 25th, 2010, 1:06 pm

Post by SHAHIN GHAEMMAGHAMI »

Lately I have been going through immense dissatisfaction with my "very long"-term relationship
Mister Nietzsche believes in superman TOO, so you can try to be a superWOMAN of your own life. long term relationship is meant to be over. start a new one. a new relationship, is a new life. kiss someone else. TOUCH A DIFFERENT SKIN, SMELL A DIFFEREN ODOR. it is within you.there is no outside reality of LOVE. it is our observation of LOVE.
Eden
Posts: 2
Joined: September 25th, 2010, 5:55 am

Post by Eden »

Thank you for all your ideas and suggestions.

Kurticus - though the quote seems somewhat harsh and cold at first, "something like that" is completely how I picture getting there. Sometimes when you get caught in the flow of things, you forget that this is your point of origin, and foreign worries such as "but why didn't my friend remember my birthday" get to you. it's interesting that your first reaction to my question would be so grounded - i'd like to be that way.


Juice - I can't figure out how you could understand what's been troubling me so well. I'd imagine you read my journal behind my back if only I kept one.
It's difficult to admit - especially if your whole existence rests on trying to be an individual - completely independent of your gender - who is not only to a great extent self-sufficient but also manages to create better life conditions for those who one cares about.
But then again, once you get carried away by daily routines and errands and what not, you forget about the original purpose and somebody comes up to you and says "you need a man who can and will take charge" and you know it's right and it's sad.
It's sort of like you realize your theory doesn't work in action but this theory is no ordinary theory, it's what you want to make of your life.
Do you think I should make my peace with being a woman and needing a man?

Zewpals - See, my experience of love has not been the way St. Augustine and Aristotle saw it. I'm not sure that I would like it to be, either. It seems that there's something almost wrong with "a single soul inhabiting two bodies". Maybe I'm too cold-blooded or selfish for it, but doesn't it seem nicer if two people could share their experience than lose themselves in each other? I am not thinking about casual dating or whatever the kids do these days either - more like giving someone all you can because you want them to be happy and comfortable, and if they love you too, they will try to do something of the sort. Well there's me again in the equation - I am definitely too selfish for this stuff.

As for talking about things.. I could not possibly find any reason, justification or advantage in not doing so - but the ship of healthy communication has sailed too long ago. I always start giggling or crying, you decide which is worse..
Thank you for reminding me the logical way to go about this though. I need to hear it every now and then.


Shahin - But even when the gender-driven dynamics between two are lost, genuine feelings of love and care can remain and maybe you wouldn't want to hurt the person whom you want so terribly to be happy, for your own observation of love. especially if there is no outside reality of love, and your observation can be found in one single person and create some sort of meaning. Does becoming ubermensch have to happen at the expense of others' happiness and growth?
User avatar
Mark
Posts: 781
Joined: September 21st, 2010, 10:56 am

Post by Mark »

Hello Eden.

May I suggest you create your own view, according to your own self, and not focusing on that of others? After all, it is your life, your path, your love, and who can be the best author of that, if not you?

Good luck.
Kurticus
Posts: 43
Joined: September 20th, 2010, 2:13 pm

Post by Kurticus »

This is from The Book of Five Rings by Musashi. (Greatest swordsman to have ever lived). Its obviously a warriors philosophy but I think everyone can take a little something away from it.

The Way of Self-Reliance

Do not turn your back on the various ways of this world.
Do not scheme for physical pleasure.
Do not intend to rely on anything.
Consider yourself lightly; consider the world deeply.
Do not ever think in acquisitive terms.
Do not regret things about your personal life.
Do not envy another's good or evil.
Do not lament parting on any road what so ever.
Do not complain or feel bitterly about yourself or others.
Have no heart for approaching the path of love.
Do not have preferences.
Do not harbor hopes for your own personal home.
Do not have a liking of delicious food for yourself.
Do not carry antiques handed down from generation to generation.
Do not fast so that it affects you physically.
While it's different with military equipment, do not be fond of material things.
While on the Way, do not bedrudge death.
Do not be intent on possessing valuables or a fief in old age.
Respect the gods and the Buddhas but do not depend on them.
Though you give up your life, do not give up your honor.
Never depart from the Way of martial arts.

"For those who would study my martial art, there are rules for putting it into practice"

Think without dishonesty.
Forge your self in the Way.
Touch upon all the arts.
Know the ways of all occupations.
Know the advantages and disadvantages to everything.
Develop a discerning eye in all matters.
Understand what cannot be seen by the eye.
Pay attention even to small things.
Do not involve yourself with the impractical.
Post Reply

Return to “Philosophers' Lounge”

2023/2024 Philosophy Books of the Month

Entanglement - Quantum and Otherwise

Entanglement - Quantum and Otherwise
by John K Danenbarger
January 2023

Mark Victor Hansen, Relentless: Wisdom Behind the Incomparable Chicken Soup for the Soul

Mark Victor Hansen, Relentless: Wisdom Behind the Incomparable Chicken Soup for the Soul
by Mitzi Perdue
February 2023

Rediscovering the Wisdom of Human Nature: How Civilization Destroys Happiness

Rediscovering the Wisdom of Human Nature: How Civilization Destroys Happiness
by Chet Shupe
March 2023

The Unfakeable Code®

The Unfakeable Code®
by Tony Jeton Selimi
April 2023

The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are
by Alan Watts
May 2023

Killing Abel

Killing Abel
by Michael Tieman
June 2023

Reconfigurement: Reconfiguring Your Life at Any Stage and Planning Ahead

Reconfigurement: Reconfiguring Your Life at Any Stage and Planning Ahead
by E. Alan Fleischauer
July 2023

First Survivor: The Impossible Childhood Cancer Breakthrough

First Survivor: The Impossible Childhood Cancer Breakthrough
by Mark Unger
August 2023

Predictably Irrational

Predictably Irrational
by Dan Ariely
September 2023

Artwords

Artwords
by Beatriz M. Robles
November 2023

Fireproof Happiness: Extinguishing Anxiety & Igniting Hope

Fireproof Happiness: Extinguishing Anxiety & Igniting Hope
by Dr. Randy Ross
December 2023

Beyond the Golden Door: Seeing the American Dream Through an Immigrant's Eyes

Beyond the Golden Door: Seeing the American Dream Through an Immigrant's Eyes
by Ali Master
February 2024

2022 Philosophy Books of the Month

Emotional Intelligence At Work

Emotional Intelligence At Work
by Richard M Contino & Penelope J Holt
January 2022

Free Will, Do You Have It?

Free Will, Do You Have It?
by Albertus Kral
February 2022

My Enemy in Vietnam

My Enemy in Vietnam
by Billy Springer
March 2022

2X2 on the Ark

2X2 on the Ark
by Mary J Giuffra, PhD
April 2022

The Maestro Monologue

The Maestro Monologue
by Rob White
May 2022

What Makes America Great

What Makes America Great
by Bob Dowell
June 2022

The Truth Is Beyond Belief!

The Truth Is Beyond Belief!
by Jerry Durr
July 2022

Living in Color

Living in Color
by Mike Murphy
August 2022 (tentative)

The Not So Great American Novel

The Not So Great American Novel
by James E Doucette
September 2022

Mary Jane Whiteley Coggeshall, Hicksite Quaker, Iowa/National Suffragette And Her Speeches

Mary Jane Whiteley Coggeshall, Hicksite Quaker, Iowa/National Suffragette And Her Speeches
by John N. (Jake) Ferris
October 2022

In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All

In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All
by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
November 2022

The Smartest Person in the Room: The Root Cause and New Solution for Cybersecurity

The Smartest Person in the Room
by Christian Espinosa
December 2022

2021 Philosophy Books of the Month

The Biblical Clock: The Untold Secrets Linking the Universe and Humanity with God's Plan

The Biblical Clock
by Daniel Friedmann
March 2021

Wilderness Cry: A Scientific and Philosophical Approach to Understanding God and the Universe

Wilderness Cry
by Dr. Hilary L Hunt M.D.
April 2021

Fear Not, Dream Big, & Execute: Tools To Spark Your Dream And Ignite Your Follow-Through

Fear Not, Dream Big, & Execute
by Jeff Meyer
May 2021

Surviving the Business of Healthcare: Knowledge is Power

Surviving the Business of Healthcare
by Barbara Galutia Regis M.S. PA-C
June 2021

Winning the War on Cancer: The Epic Journey Towards a Natural Cure

Winning the War on Cancer
by Sylvie Beljanski
July 2021

Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream

Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream
by Dr Frank L Douglas
August 2021

If Life Stinks, Get Your Head Outta Your Buts

If Life Stinks, Get Your Head Outta Your Buts
by Mark L. Wdowiak
September 2021

The Preppers Medical Handbook

The Preppers Medical Handbook
by Dr. William W Forgey M.D.
October 2021

Natural Relief for Anxiety and Stress: A Practical Guide

Natural Relief for Anxiety and Stress
by Dr. Gustavo Kinrys, MD
November 2021

Dream For Peace: An Ambassador Memoir

Dream For Peace
by Dr. Ghoulem Berrah
December 2021