philosophy of love, marriage, sexuality
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- Joined: September 25th, 2010, 5:55 am
philosophy of love, marriage, sexuality
I am one of those people who take their philosophy seriously and often turn to such exceptional persons as Mister Nietzsche or Monsieur Camus for personal growth or dilemmas and struggles.
Lately I have been going through immense dissatisfaction with my "very long"-term relationship which I am hoping to mend. As a 25 year old ice cube concealed in female form, I usually try and succeed in keeping my thoughts, feelings, excitements and problems to myself - and find that reading something really good will work so much better than talking.
Hence, I am looking for suggestions for authors to read who have taken their time to ponder upon the philosophy of love and sexuality. Has anyone with a "bad-ass" attitude towards life such as the above mentioned written anything on these things we may often dismiss for being too worldly?
Why is it that anything about love and affection has been diminished to trivial and ephemeral instances of popular culture? And why can one not encounter topics of human sexuality anywhere except in feminist theories and exposure/profit-driven works of popular culture?
Wow. I am basically looking for a self-help book on love and marriage that is sophisticated and smart and unlike every self-help book ever written about anything.
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- Joined: September 20th, 2010, 2:13 pm
The path to enlightenment is lonely and painfull and offers nothing in return, yet rewards you greatly.
Something like that.
The exploitation/manipulation of baser instincts to drive our culture has alot to do with what you've experienced, IMO anyway.
- Juice
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- Joined: May 8th, 2009, 10:24 pm
May I also suggest that if you feel you're an "ice cube" in female form that you find someone who can melt away the ice and leave you with a more complete feminine concept.
Unfortunately, many women have been betrayed by the ideological progressive feminist who would convince women that equality extends beyond manmade concepts into the biological realm. Sounds to me that you need a real man who can and will take charge.
The universe is based on opposites and there is no greater expression of opposites than that exists between man and woman, where together truth exists and can be actualized through the realization of manliness and womanhood, and the necessary dichotomies between the two.
Just gotta be able to go with the flow. If your looking for step by step self actualization I doubt that any kind of philosophy can help since there is no set answer or Truth, as of yet.
The path to enlightenment first starts with finding the path.
An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.
C. S. Lewis
Fight the illusion!
- Zewpals
- Premium Member
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- Joined: June 16th, 2010, 11:25 am
-St. Augustine
I believe Aristotle wrote "Love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
I define love as valuing the well being and happiness of someone else more than one's own.
I know you said that reading something really good usually helps you, but if you agree with any of the above statements, I believe that may just be suppressing your doubts and negative feelings instead of solving the real problem. If love involves two people, then would it not make sense to work with your spouse to fix the love instead of trying to fix it on your own? I would strongly suggest talking with your spouse and perhaps finding someone to help direct both of you in the right direction, such as a counselor, if you are interested in keeping this ember burning.
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- Joined: August 25th, 2010, 1:06 pm
Mister Nietzsche believes in superman TOO, so you can try to be a superWOMAN of your own life. long term relationship is meant to be over. start a new one. a new relationship, is a new life. kiss someone else. TOUCH A DIFFERENT SKIN, SMELL A DIFFEREN ODOR. it is within you.there is no outside reality of LOVE. it is our observation of LOVE.Lately I have been going through immense dissatisfaction with my "very long"-term relationship
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- Joined: September 25th, 2010, 5:55 am
Kurticus - though the quote seems somewhat harsh and cold at first, "something like that" is completely how I picture getting there. Sometimes when you get caught in the flow of things, you forget that this is your point of origin, and foreign worries such as "but why didn't my friend remember my birthday" get to you. it's interesting that your first reaction to my question would be so grounded - i'd like to be that way.
Juice - I can't figure out how you could understand what's been troubling me so well. I'd imagine you read my journal behind my back if only I kept one.
It's difficult to admit - especially if your whole existence rests on trying to be an individual - completely independent of your gender - who is not only to a great extent self-sufficient but also manages to create better life conditions for those who one cares about.
But then again, once you get carried away by daily routines and errands and what not, you forget about the original purpose and somebody comes up to you and says "you need a man who can and will take charge" and you know it's right and it's sad.
It's sort of like you realize your theory doesn't work in action but this theory is no ordinary theory, it's what you want to make of your life.
Do you think I should make my peace with being a woman and needing a man?
Zewpals - See, my experience of love has not been the way St. Augustine and Aristotle saw it. I'm not sure that I would like it to be, either. It seems that there's something almost wrong with "a single soul inhabiting two bodies". Maybe I'm too cold-blooded or selfish for it, but doesn't it seem nicer if two people could share their experience than lose themselves in each other? I am not thinking about casual dating or whatever the kids do these days either - more like giving someone all you can because you want them to be happy and comfortable, and if they love you too, they will try to do something of the sort. Well there's me again in the equation - I am definitely too selfish for this stuff.
As for talking about things.. I could not possibly find any reason, justification or advantage in not doing so - but the ship of healthy communication has sailed too long ago. I always start giggling or crying, you decide which is worse..
Thank you for reminding me the logical way to go about this though. I need to hear it every now and then.
Shahin - But even when the gender-driven dynamics between two are lost, genuine feelings of love and care can remain and maybe you wouldn't want to hurt the person whom you want so terribly to be happy, for your own observation of love. especially if there is no outside reality of love, and your observation can be found in one single person and create some sort of meaning. Does becoming ubermensch have to happen at the expense of others' happiness and growth?
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- Joined: September 20th, 2010, 2:13 pm
The Way of Self-Reliance
Do not turn your back on the various ways of this world.
Do not scheme for physical pleasure.
Do not intend to rely on anything.
Consider yourself lightly; consider the world deeply.
Do not ever think in acquisitive terms.
Do not regret things about your personal life.
Do not envy another's good or evil.
Do not lament parting on any road what so ever.
Do not complain or feel bitterly about yourself or others.
Have no heart for approaching the path of love.
Do not have preferences.
Do not harbor hopes for your own personal home.
Do not have a liking of delicious food for yourself.
Do not carry antiques handed down from generation to generation.
Do not fast so that it affects you physically.
While it's different with military equipment, do not be fond of material things.
While on the Way, do not bedrudge death.
Do not be intent on possessing valuables or a fief in old age.
Respect the gods and the Buddhas but do not depend on them.
Though you give up your life, do not give up your honor.
Never depart from the Way of martial arts.
"For those who would study my martial art, there are rules for putting it into practice"
Think without dishonesty.
Forge your self in the Way.
Touch upon all the arts.
Know the ways of all occupations.
Know the advantages and disadvantages to everything.
Develop a discerning eye in all matters.
Understand what cannot be seen by the eye.
Pay attention even to small things.
Do not involve yourself with the impractical.
2023/2024 Philosophy Books of the Month
Mark Victor Hansen, Relentless: Wisdom Behind the Incomparable Chicken Soup for the Soul
by Mitzi Perdue
February 2023
Rediscovering the Wisdom of Human Nature: How Civilization Destroys Happiness
by Chet Shupe
March 2023