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How to stay socialized when you have no common interests with the society you live in?

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Belindi
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Re: How to stay socialized when you have no common interests with the society you live in?

Post by Belindi » June 12th, 2019, 6:36 am

I find I simply have to be as patient as I can. I find it's easy to be with people who are ignorant but who want to learn. Bigots are not worth your time and trouble unless they are charming in other ways such as being kind or making you laugh and so forth.

Belindi
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Re: How to stay socialized when you have no common interests with the society you live in?

Post by Belindi » June 12th, 2019, 6:37 am

I find I simply have to be as patient as I can. I find it's easy to be with people who are ignorant but who want to learn. Bigots are not worth your time and trouble unless they are charming in other ways such as being kind or making you laugh and so forth.

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Greta
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Re: How to stay socialized when you have no common interests with the society you live in?

Post by Greta » June 12th, 2019, 8:28 pm

seek_philosophy wrote:
June 12th, 2019, 12:50 am
Greta wrote:
June 11th, 2019, 8:14 pm
I am less a smart lady philosopher than a human sized sentient bag of goop, a brief animated dimple on the Earth's surface. Each of us acts as a conduit for the planet, a cell of the biospheric change agent that we call "humanity".

Individually we humans enjoy some agency but collectively we are utterly captive. Humanity's journey from A to Z is as pre-determined as the journey from zygote to senior citizen - inevitable if not curtailed.

Within this great mechanism of biospheric reproduction that we are creating, most young "cells" worry a great deal about how well they might be doing, especially socially. Some even kill themselves because the social connections they hoped for did not happen. Our lack of perspective kills more than any of the things demonised in the press.

IMO, what matters are connections, and not just the conscious connections (which is sociality). There are many unconscious and unwitting connections that we make in the business of living - often with non-human entities and system that we so blithely dismiss, but can often be just as valuable a part of the fabric of reality/life as human interactions, and often less entropic/destructive.

A simple example: An offhand act, comment or even joke from someone stays with another for life. Planting a seed that grows into a loved and valuable tree whose seeds raised others elsewhere. Every time you sneeze you create a little world for microbial communities. Each breath exhalation sends millions of bacteria to their doom - to be the food that sustains other bacteria. We underestimate the non-human enormously but t's all still happening whether we filter it out or not.

What is our personal impact on the natural world? If we treat it with contempt, might that be the same contempt that we resent when others treat us ruthlessly and callously?

How can peace of mind be achieved with so much friction between our fluffy, unrealistic social ideals and humanitarian ethics and the reality that we must kill and maim other life forms so that we may live - the intrinsic tragedy and ugliness that lies within existence (at this stage of development) itself? So we distract ourselves.

Looking back to my many years in the self pity/loneliness trap, it seems to me that loneliness is in part self-flagellation over one's inability to live up expectations. The other part of loneliness is the need for others to use as a distraction from the harsh glare of our physical reality. So often people on their deathbeds come to realise that the abstract games of manners they thought was most of reality turned out to only be the thin layer of froth on top. Why don't we ever learn from their experience?

The good news is, in terms of what is actually real, we are probably each leading an innocent life of adequate value that is utterly blameless in universal terms.

tl:dr. Our games of manners are not the bottom line. The delusion that human relationships are all that matters is practical for those seeking "success", but the fallacy can bring much misery to self and others if bought into too deeply.


PS. Ayn Rand? I'm not sure she or Milton Friedman did the world too many favours. I personally prefer Carl Sagan.
@h_k_s you should ask her out, she breaks all rules just to show that she likes you back. But, of course this post will not be accepted, because some people think only they have the right to disobey the rules, and yet dare to talk about philosophy.

People corrupted even philosophy, the way people think they are christian (without having even slight connection with the Christianity), some people started to think they are philosophers, just because they memorized works of some philosophers. Philosophy died, and this is yet another site for fraternizing. Nothing worth to stop by.
1) You are wrong. I am longtime celibate and your insinuations are unfair and, well, plain old nasty. I doubt you would be complaining if I had a non-gendered name.

2) I've provided unpaid mod services for this forum for years and have paid my dues. What is your contribution? I always pay attention to causative issues on the periphery of topics - which some (wrongly) consider to be digressions. I again did this with the topic above but ultimately drove directly into the nub of the issue. However, you appeared to be too jealous and angry to notice.

3) Some advice, since you've been asking. If you think a moment of levity is wrong then I expect you will be making more threads like this on the philosophical web.

If you want to express or impress, by all means stay deadly earnest all of the time. If you want people to actually tune into what you are saying (especially online, where reading is harder) then you'd better slip moments of lightness between your bouts of ferocious seriousness.

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h_k_s
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Re: How to stay socialized when you have no common interests with the society you live in?

Post by h_k_s » June 13th, 2019, 11:57 am

Greg wrote:
June 12th, 2019, 12:30 am
h_k_s wrote:
June 11th, 2019, 7:10 pm
If you "don't disagree with" me then you do DO agree with me.

Someone somewhere in elementary school, grammar school, high school, or college should have taught you NOT to use double-negatives.

Thank you for agreeing.
I'm not a native speaker, and there was no English in my school. I'm glad that it helped you to increase your self-esteem.

I quite changed my opinion about philosophers. For me there were professions, and then philosophy, which was different. Now, it seems like it's just another subject, and possessing it doesn't mean anything.
Please be careful not to imitate the British with all their double-negatives and their subject/verb disagreement.

In American schools, double negatives are not considered good grammar, and subjects of sentences must still agree with their verbs, as in most other languages including Latin and Greek.

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h_k_s
Posts: 508
Joined: November 25th, 2018, 12:09 pm
Favorite Philosopher: Aristotle
Location: Rocky Mountains

Re: How to stay socialized when you have no common interests with the society you live in?

Post by h_k_s » June 13th, 2019, 12:02 pm

seek_philosophy wrote:
June 12th, 2019, 12:50 am
Greta wrote:
June 11th, 2019, 8:14 pm
I am less a smart lady philosopher than a human sized sentient bag of goop, a brief animated dimple on the Earth's surface. Each of us acts as a conduit for the planet, a cell of the biospheric change agent that we call "humanity".

Individually we humans enjoy some agency but collectively we are utterly captive. Humanity's journey from A to Z is as pre-determined as the journey from zygote to senior citizen - inevitable if not curtailed.

Within this great mechanism of biospheric reproduction that we are creating, most young "cells" worry a great deal about how well they might be doing, especially socially. Some even kill themselves because the social connections they hoped for did not happen. Our lack of perspective kills more than any of the things demonised in the press.

IMO, what matters are connections, and not just the conscious connections (which is sociality). There are many unconscious and unwitting connections that we make in the business of living - often with non-human entities and system that we so blithely dismiss, but can often be just as valuable a part of the fabric of reality/life as human interactions, and often less entropic/destructive.

A simple example: An offhand act, comment or even joke from someone stays with another for life. Planting a seed that grows into a loved and valuable tree whose seeds raised others elsewhere. Every time you sneeze you create a little world for microbial communities. Each breath exhalation sends millions of bacteria to their doom - to be the food that sustains other bacteria. We underestimate the non-human enormously but t's all still happening whether we filter it out or not.

What is our personal impact on the natural world? If we treat it with contempt, might that be the same contempt that we resent when others treat us ruthlessly and callously?

How can peace of mind be achieved with so much friction between our fluffy, unrealistic social ideals and humanitarian ethics and the reality that we must kill and maim other life forms so that we may live - the intrinsic tragedy and ugliness that lies within existence (at this stage of development) itself? So we distract ourselves.

Looking back to my many years in the self pity/loneliness trap, it seems to me that loneliness is in part self-flagellation over one's inability to live up expectations. The other part of loneliness is the need for others to use as a distraction from the harsh glare of our physical reality. So often people on their deathbeds come to realise that the abstract games of manners they thought was most of reality turned out to only be the thin layer of froth on top. Why don't we ever learn from their experience?

The good news is, in terms of what is actually real, we are probably each leading an innocent life of adequate value that is utterly blameless in universal terms.

tl:dr. Our games of manners are not the bottom line. The delusion that human relationships are all that matters is practical for those seeking "success", but the fallacy can bring much misery to self and others if bought into too deeply.


PS. Ayn Rand? I'm not sure she or Milton Friedman did the world too many favours. I personally prefer Carl Sagan.
@h_k_s you should ask her out, she breaks all rules just to show that she likes you back. But, of course this post will not be accepted, because some people think only they have the right to disobey the rules, and yet dare to talk about philosophy.

People corrupted even philosophy, the way people think they are christian (without having even slight connection with the Christianity), some people started to think they are philosophers, just because they memorized works of some philosophers. Philosophy died, and this is yet another site for fraternizing. Nothing worth to stop by.
@seek I hope you don't start thinking and speaking with your gonads.

This is a philosophy forum not a dating site.

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