Trauma and Human Identity: How Fragile is the 'Self'?

[Sy Borg]

I am aware of Tolle's ideas on the pain body and on the ego. My nephew was a fan some years ago. These days he's into Teal Swan.

ET appears to treat processes like objects to make them more mentally accessible. There are many cases of people exerting mind over matter (in their own bodies) by using meditative practices, eg. Wim Hof, the Buddhist monks who heat up towels soaked in cold water.

I won't criticise because, in this area, it's a matter of "whatever works".

[Vita]

The self seems to be built rather than built-in. That may explain some trauma. As we grow, we grow the “self” to become someone. Our life’s impressions all contribute (however slightly) to the self. I can see how a self built up in a lifetime on false illusions can experience trauma from their disillusionment. I can also see how a full, real lifetime can be worn down gradually until the spirit is tired and broken.

As for animals, we do not know that they do not have selves.

[JackDaydream]

I am aware of Tolle's ideas on the pain body and on the ego. My nephew was a fan some years ago. These days he's into Teal Swan.

ET appears to treat processes like objects to make them more mentally accessible. There are many cases of people exerting mind over matter (in their own bodies) by using meditative practices, eg. Wim Hof, the Buddhist monks who heat up towels soaked in cold water.

I won't criticise because, in this area, it's a matter of "whatever works".

The idea of the pain-body makes sense to me, but it may be incongruent with the Western perspective and more compatible with Eastern metaphysics. In particular, Buddhism has an emphasis on the heart-mind which is rather different from the Western emphasis of the head as the essential aspect of consciousnes and the self.

Finding approaches to what works in coping with or recovering from trauma and stress does seem to be very individual with some finding very different ones work. It does seem that some find it all comes down to medication, some with various forms of therapy. The one positive development which I saw in mental health care while I was working within the system was the recovery approach. That involved helping people identify their own goals. However, there was a lot of cost-cutting, especially a move to online forms of therapy, which some people did not wish to engage in as these lacked the personal elements of face to face therapy. Also, the lockdowns have meant more of a move to online resources, as well as more time alone with the self for so many people.

[JackDaydream]

The self seems to be built rather than built-in. That may explain some trauma. As we grow, we grow the “self” to become someone. Our life’s impressions all contribute (however slightly) to the self. I can see how a self built up in a lifetime on false illusions can experience trauma from their disillusionment. I can also see how a full, real lifetime can be worn down gradually until the spirit is tired and broken.

As for animals, we do not know that they do not have selves.

It does seem that the self, and consequent self knowledge is a process of development of becoming. There may be certain potential but personal experience, interpretation and responses to these are about an emergent self.

It is interesting to question to what extent animals have a sense of self or of identity. The language element is so essential to human identity and the sense of 'I'. Presumably, animals have a sense of continuity of consciousness and non verbal interaction. So much is probably more instinctual. Animals may wish to have sex with others, but this may be on the basis of pheromones rather than having romances. Also, it is unclear to what extent they have gender identity, or a sense of family. There may be great variations in the animal kingdom and great differences as to whether there is or isn't any self-consciousness.

[Sy Borg]

Finding approaches to what works in coping with or recovering from trauma and stress does seem to be very individual with some finding very different ones work. It does seem that some find it all comes down to medication, some with various forms of therapy. The one positive development which I saw in mental health care while I was working within the system was the recovery approach. That involved helping people identify their own goals. However, there was a lot of cost-cutting, especially a move to online forms of therapy, which some people did not wish to engage in as these lacked the personal elements of face to face therapy. Also, the lockdowns have meant more of a move to online resources, as well as more time alone with the self for so many people.

I like the John Lennon lyric, "Whatever gets you through the night, is alright, it's alright". Life is hard and we have individual needs. So, while I have significant doubts as to the reality of an afterlife once brain oxygen runs out, I don't criticise those with those beliefs (although I will criticise absurd and anthropomorphic literal interpretations of ancient myths aka religious texts). Resisting the march of superstition and associated charlatanism in the 2020s helps me get through the night :)

Maybe there will come a time when online communications are far more frequent than face-to-face, and the latter will be considered too intense, even profane?

[JackDaydream]

Finding approaches to what works in coping with or recovering from trauma and stress does seem to be very individual with some finding very different ones work. It does seem that some find it all comes down to medication, some with various forms of therapy. The one positive development which I saw in mental health care while I was working within the system was the recovery approach. That involved helping people identify their own goals. However, there was a lot of cost-cutting, especially a move to online forms of therapy, which some people did not wish to engage in as these lacked the personal elements of face to face therapy. Also, the lockdowns have meant more of a move to online resources, as well as more time alone with the self for so many people.

I like the John Lennon lyric, "Whatever gets you through the night, is alright, it's alright". Life is hard and we have individual needs. So, while I have significant doubts as to the reality of an afterlife once brain oxygen runs out, I don't criticise those with those beliefs (although I will criticise absurd and anthropomorphic literal interpretations of ancient myths aka religious texts). Resisting the march of superstition and associated charlatanism in the 2020s helps me get through the night

Maybe there will come a time when online communications are far more frequent than face-to-face, and the latter will be considered too intense, even profane?

I may even be getting to the point of finding face to face contacts a bit too intense as a result of getting used to do them so much less in lockdown. I find that when friends suggest meeting up I delay a little. Also, even though I want to start going to social events I find it as hard as when I was about 17. When I got lost on the way to meditation a week ago I did think it happened partly because I felt lacking in social confidence. A couple of friends have told me that lockdown has made it harder for them to face some activities and they spend more time at home alone.

It may be that lockdowns have forced people to get used to spending more time facing oneself. Also, the people who struggled most may have been those who are less at ease with the presence of self. The reason why I found lockdown difficult was because I had to move twice and doing such things while so much was closed was the hardest part. The actual experience of being by myself was not the main problem but for some people it may have been. A lot of people do find being by themselves extremely difficult. I once came across someone who used to read while eating alone, and this seemed to be about blocking out the self and inner chatter.

It may come down to the difference between introversion and extraversion. However, I will refer to it in the way Jung spoke of it. That is with the extrovert being affected most by events in the outer world and the introvert by events in the outer world. Personally, I would not say that I am introverted completely because I know that social aspects of life affect me a lot, especially my mood. However, I definitely need a lot of time by myself. It is such a continuum. I want some interaction but not too much. The people who find social interaction as being too much, especially from childhood, are often seen as being on the autistic spectrum. While it may occur due to trauma in many instance, and can include difficulties in communications, there is some assumption in the labelling of autism that being part of social groups and interacting with others is desirable or the norm.

[Sy Borg]

Finding approaches to what works in coping with or recovering from trauma and stress does seem to be very individual with some finding very different ones work. It does seem that some find it all comes down to medication, some with various forms of therapy. The one positive development which I saw in mental health care while I was working within the system was the recovery approach. That involved helping people identify their own goals. However, there was a lot of cost-cutting, especially a move to online forms of therapy, which some people did not wish to engage in as these lacked the personal elements of face to face therapy. Also, the lockdowns have meant more of a move to online resources, as well as more time alone with the self for so many people.

I like the John Lennon lyric, "Whatever gets you through the night, is alright, it's alright". Life is hard and we have individual needs. So, while I have significant doubts as to the reality of an afterlife once brain oxygen runs out, I don't criticise those with those beliefs (although I will criticise absurd and anthropomorphic literal interpretations of ancient myths aka religious texts). Resisting the march of superstition and associated charlatanism in the 2020s helps me get through the night :)

Maybe there will come a time when online communications are far more frequent than face-to-face, and the latter will be considered too intense, even profane?

I may even be getting to the point of finding face to face contacts a bit too intense as a result of getting used to do them so much less in lockdown. I find that when friends suggest meeting up I delay a little. Also, even though I want to start going to social events I find it as hard as when I was about 17. When I got lost on the way to meditation a week ago I did think it happened partly because I felt lacking in social confidence. A couple of friends have told me that lockdown has made it harder for them to face some activities and they spend more time at home alone.

It may be that lockdowns have forced people to get used to spending more time facing oneself. Also, the people who struggled most may have been those who are less at ease with the presence of self. The reason why I found lockdown difficult was because I had to move twice and doing such things while so much was closed was the hardest part. The actual experience of being by myself was not the main problem but for some people it may have been. A lot of people do find being by themselves extremely difficult. I once came across someone who used to read while eating alone, and this seemed to be about blocking out the self and inner chatter.

It may come down to the difference between introversion and extraversion. However, I will refer to it in the way Jung spoke of it. That is with the extrovert being affected most by events in the outer world and the introvert by events in the outer world. Personally, I would not say that I am introverted completely because I know that social aspects of life affect me a lot, especially my mood. However, I definitely need a lot of time by myself. It is such a continuum. I want some interaction but not too much. The people who find social interaction as being too much, especially from childhood, are often seen as being on the autistic spectrum. While it may occur due to trauma in many instance, and can include difficulties in communications, there is some assumption in the labelling of autism that being part of social groups and interacting with others is desirable or the norm.

Yep, I found lockdown pleasant and peaceful and I was disappointed when it was lifted. Still, I have come to know many locals because the family dog is elderly and quirky, which tends to capture human hearts. I find both enjoyable - alone time and chatting. However, being an introvert means I can enjoy long periods of alone time but my enjoyment of company erodes in a few hours.

Ultimately, the effect of trauma is to limit the potential of a self. (In school bullying, this is a deliberate, if instinctive, hobbling of "the competition". One of those limits is on one's capacity to connect with others, although practice can alleviate some of the issues.

[JackDaydream]

Finding approaches to what works in coping with or recovering from trauma and stress does seem to be very individual with some finding very different ones work. It does seem that some find it all comes down to medication, some with various forms of therapy. The one positive development which I saw in mental health care while I was working within the system was the recovery approach. That involved helping people identify their own goals. However, there was a lot of cost-cutting, especially a move to online forms of therapy, which some people did not wish to engage in as these lacked the personal elements of face to face therapy. Also, the lockdowns have meant more of a move to online resources, as well as more time alone with the self for so many people.

I like the John Lennon lyric, "Whatever gets you through the night, is alright, it's alright". Life is hard and we have individual needs. So, while I have significant doubts as to the reality of an afterlife once brain oxygen runs out, I don't criticise those with those beliefs (although I will criticise absurd and anthropomorphic literal interpretations of ancient myths aka religious texts). Resisting the march of superstition and associated charlatanism in the 2020s helps me get through the night

Maybe there will come a time when online communications are far more frequent than face-to-face, and the latter will be considered too intense, even profane?

I may even be getting to the point of finding face to face contacts a bit too intense as a result of getting used to do them so much less in lockdown. I find that when friends suggest meeting up I delay a little. Also, even though I want to start going to social events I find it as hard as when I was about 17. When I got lost on the way to meditation a week ago I did think it happened partly because I felt lacking in social confidence. A couple of friends have told me that lockdown has made it harder for them to face some activities and they spend more time at home alone.

It may be that lockdowns have forced people to get used to spending more time facing oneself. Also, the people who struggled most may have been those who are less at ease with the presence of self. The reason why I found lockdown difficult was because I had to move twice and doing such things while so much was closed was the hardest part. The actual experience of being by myself was not the main problem but for some people it may have been. A lot of people do find being by themselves extremely difficult. I once came across someone who used to read while eating alone, and this seemed to be about blocking out the self and inner chatter.

It may come down to the difference between introversion and extraversion. However, I will refer to it in the way Jung spoke of it. That is with the extrovert being affected most by events in the outer world and the introvert by events in the outer world. Personally, I would not say that I am introverted completely because I know that social aspects of life affect me a lot, especially my mood. However, I definitely need a lot of time by myself. It is such a continuum. I want some interaction but not too much. The people who find social interaction as being too much, especially from childhood, are often seen as being on the autistic spectrum. While it may occur due to trauma in many instance, and can include difficulties in communications, there is some assumption in the labelling of autism that being part of social groups and interacting with others is desirable or the norm.

Yep, I found lockdown pleasant and peaceful and I was disappointed when it was lifted. Still, I have come to know many locals because the family dog is elderly and quirky, which tends to capture human hearts. I find both enjoyable - alone time and chatting. However, being an introvert means I can enjoy long periods of alone time but my enjoyment of company erodes in a few hours.

Ultimately, the effect of trauma is to limit the potential of a self. (In school bullying, this is a deliberate, if instinctive, hobbling of "the competition". One of those limits is on one's capacity to connect with others, although practice can alleviate some of the issues.

From what I have seen, lockdown has changed some people a lot, but, of course, not everyone. Some of my own friends describe so much inner work and self knowledge gained from plenty of time alone. One thing which I also notice in London is that people are more inclined to talk to others in post lockdown. Often, I used to go out for a day and no one would speak to me at all. Now, on most days, at bus stops and coffee shops people do tend to engage in conversation more. It seems like the time alone has brought some appreciation of others. It may be that the relationship with oneself and with others both deserve attention, as valid aspects of human life. Each person exists as a private and public self. Sometimes the pressure to have a persona, or public self in social roles can be too much. So, it may be important to recognize the private self alone, as a basis for seeing beyond the superficialities of the persona, and as a basis for more meaningful connections with others.