Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

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Niki
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Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by Niki »

Literally in almost everything you do, no matter how good your intention or what you're trying to do, in the end eventually sooner or later everything just keep failing & crumbling down to nothing. I don't know why. It's like I have bad lucks even in small little things. Everything doesn't work out, even when I've already at least tried. Nothing matters.

I don't even know anymore what to do, or even what to believe. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't even know anymore, if god does exist (or any 'spiritual' system like karma or "law of attraction" thing etc etc), what is my sins that somehow the universe just keep punishing me again & again & again, even when I've already at least tried to do good. Of course I know I'm far from perfect. I even admit that. I'm just only a human being, who can make mistakes. But why all of these happened to me?

Of course people will have different opinions about this, depending on their belief system, worldview, background, mindset, etc etc etc. So I don't even know anymore which one is true?

Why the universe seems so cruel to me?
Why some people have all the 'good lucks/fortune' basically living their dreams, success, & happiness, but somehow, the universe just doesn't allow me to experience the same thing?
Am I really cursed, or a jinx, or something like that? I don't know anymore

Am I really that bad of a person, that somehow god (or universe etc etc) just keeps bringing me down?

It makes me even much more depressed.

Why?
My name is Niki Wonoto. I'm 41 years old guy from Indonesia. Nihilism, Pessimism, Antinatalism, Promortalism, Efilism.
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JackDaydream
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Re: Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by JackDaydream »

Niki wrote: June 3rd, 2023, 1:55 am Literally in almost everything you do, no matter how good your intention or what you're trying to do, in the end eventually sooner or later everything just keep failing & crumbling down to nothing. I don't know why. It's like I have bad lucks even in small little things. Everything doesn't work out, even when I've already at least tried. Nothing matters.

I don't even know anymore what to do, or even what to believe. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't even know anymore, if god does exist (or any 'spiritual' system like karma or "law of attraction" thing etc etc), what is my sins that somehow the universe just keep punishing me again & again & again, even when I've already at least tried to do good. Of course I know I'm far from perfect. I even admit that. I'm just only a human being, who can make mistakes. But why all of these happened to me?

Of course people will have different opinions about this, depending on their belief system, worldview, background, mindset, etc etc etc. So I don't even know anymore which one is true?

Why the universe seems so cruel to me?
Why some people have all the 'good lucks/fortune' basically living their dreams, success, & happiness, but somehow, the universe just doesn't allow me to experience the same thing?
Am I really cursed, or a jinx, or something like that? I don't know anymore

Am I really that bad of a person, that somehow god (or universe etc etc) just keeps bringing me down?

It makes me even much more depressed.

Why?
At times I have felt that the 'universe' or whatever exists seems to be going against me because everything seems to go wrong for me. It is easy to feel demoralised and 'trapped' and wondering 'what have I done wrong? ' It is the classic situation of Job.

However, the danger is of both beating oneself up and going into a victim mentality. It may be that the hardest lessons in life are the learning curve of life. The biggest lessons in life may be those which arise amidst conflict. Also, while life may be unfair the difficult experiences may be the challenge.

I also find those who have experienced life difficulties to be the most interesting ones to meet as if suffering has given them greater depth of understanding. If life was all fun and games would there be any reason to explore meaning and philosophy. It was awareness of suffering which sparked the Buddha's quest.

The biggest problem which I see though is when there is stress upon stress, with endless burdens and hardly any times of relief at all. This can lead to burnout and breakdown. It may be that everyone has a breaking point. It is hard not to end up with a broken spirit after endless knocks. That is the challenge I find. Resilience may require inner strength and drawing on inner resources. Personally, I try to find positive experiences amidst harsh ones and to draw upon inspiration, especially in the arts, as an antidote to pain as opposed to believing that the universe is conspiring against me. That is because the conspiracy approach would lead me to give up and climb into the rivers of despair.
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Pattern-chaser
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Re: Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by Pattern-chaser »

Niki wrote: June 3rd, 2023, 1:55 am Literally in almost everything you do, no matter how good your intention or what you're trying to do, in the end eventually sooner or later everything just keep failing & crumbling down to nothing. I don't know why. It's like I have bad lucks even in small little things. Everything doesn't work out, even when I've already at least tried. Nothing matters.

I don't even know anymore what to do, or even what to believe. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't even know anymore, if god does exist (or any 'spiritual' system like karma or "law of attraction" thing etc etc), what is my sins that somehow the universe just keep punishing me again & again & again, even when I've already at least tried to do good. Of course I know I'm far from perfect. I even admit that. I'm just only a human being, who can make mistakes. But why all of these happened to me?

Of course people will have different opinions about this, depending on their belief system, worldview, background, mindset, etc etc etc. So I don't even know anymore which one is true?

Why the universe seems so cruel to me?
Why some people have all the 'good lucks/fortune' basically living their dreams, success, & happiness, but somehow, the universe just doesn't allow me to experience the same thing?
Am I really cursed, or a jinx, or something like that? I don't know anymore

Am I really that bad of a person, that somehow god (or universe etc etc) just keeps bringing me down?

It makes me even much more depressed.

Why?
To the larger questions you ask, I have no useful answers. Perhaps there are no useful answers? But you also ask, several times, why the things that have happened to you in your life, happened to you alone. The answer to that one is that such things don't and didn't only happen to you. Similar things happen to everyone, to every living thing. There may be deep and underlying reasons that explain "why" this is so, but we don't know what those reasons are. From our perspective, and according to our understanding, these things are down to luck, what we describe as 'good' luck and 'bad'. It's not that the universe hates you, or anything, but only that stuff happens, sometimes to your benefit, other times not.

Oh, and devotees of science might suggest to you that the reason why "in the end eventually sooner or later everything just keep failing & crumbling down to nothing" is entropy. Nothing lasts forever. All things end, and in ending, become something new and different, for nothing is ever really destroyed, only changed.
Pattern-chaser

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LuckyR
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Re: Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by LuckyR »

Niki wrote: June 3rd, 2023, 1:55 am Literally in almost everything you do, no matter how good your intention or what you're trying to do, in the end eventually sooner or later everything just keep failing & crumbling down to nothing. I don't know why. It's like I have bad lucks even in small little things. Everything doesn't work out, even when I've already at least tried. Nothing matters.

I don't even know anymore what to do, or even what to believe. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't even know anymore, if god does exist (or any 'spiritual' system like karma or "law of attraction" thing etc etc), what is my sins that somehow the universe just keep punishing me again & again & again, even when I've already at least tried to do good. Of course I know I'm far from perfect. I even admit that. I'm just only a human being, who can make mistakes. But why all of these happened to me?

Of course people will have different opinions about this, depending on their belief system, worldview, background, mindset, etc etc etc. So I don't even know anymore which one is true?

Why the universe seems so cruel to me?
Why some people have all the 'good lucks/fortune' basically living their dreams, success, & happiness, but somehow, the universe just doesn't allow me to experience the same thing?
Am I really cursed, or a jinx, or something like that? I don't know anymore

Am I really that bad of a person, that somehow god (or universe etc etc) just keeps bringing me down?

It makes me even much more depressed.

Why?
I think your observations are accurate, though likely incomplete. As to your conclusions derived from your observations, they seem qualitatively reasonable, but perhaps quantitavely exaggerated.

There is a real hollowing out of the middle class which results in diminished upward mobility. This is coupled with an increased expectation of consumer goods and services creating a doublely felt effect.
"As usual... it depends."
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chewybrian
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Re: Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by chewybrian »

Niki wrote: June 3rd, 2023, 1:55 am Literally in almost everything you do, no matter how good your intention or what you're trying to do, in the end eventually sooner or later everything just keep failing & crumbling down to nothing.
This seems to be an observable fact.
Niki wrote: June 3rd, 2023, 1:55 am It makes me even much more depressed.

Why?
This seems driven by opinion. Others have different opinions and thus different experiences of the same reality. It's raining, so the farmer is happy and the golfer is unhappy. Yet, it is only the opinion each holds of what 'should' happen that creates a feeling of happiness or unhappiness. We don't control the weather and therefore have little right or reason to rejoice or fret about it. We do control our opinions, and since opinion is the foundation of our possible suffering, we should work to form a kinder opinion in order to have a better experience of life.

I could easily consider myself poor when looking at my neighbors. Yet, compared to the rest of my country, I'm doing well. Compared to the rest of the world, I'm pretty wealthy. Compared to all the people who've ever lived, I'm closer to a king than a peasant. Why bother to draw a line when all it does is make me feel like a failure in some way? Why dwell on the money I don't have rather than the choices I am making with what I do have? It's not always easy or natural to focus on myself instead of the world outside, but I control myself and not the world. I can choose to be better and succeed if I follow through. I can't choose to change the world and expect to succeed. As you say, it ends in failure even if there is a temporary success.

I suggest "The Enchiridion" as a guide to work through the problems you are expressing. You can find a free pdf quickly on line by searching for: "Epictetus Enchiridion" (this site won't allow me to link it).
"If determinism holds, then past events have conspired to cause me to hold this view--it is out of my control. Either I am right about free will, or it is not my fault that I am wrong."
Slaters_Delirium
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Re: Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by Slaters_Delirium »

Niki wrote: June 3rd, 2023, 1:55 am Why the universe seems so cruel to me?

some people have all the 'good lucks/fortune' basically living their dreams, success, & happiness,
Am I really that bad of a person, that somehow god (or universe etc etc) just keeps bringing me down?

It makes me even much more depressed.
Why?
For your question on why the universe seems so cruel to you: it may just be human nature. I think that a part of being human is that you have the ability to feel self-pity in certain situations. Say a young child drops their ice cream cone. They might cry, right? They may not directly think "why did this happen to me", but they still register that it's their ice cream that was dropped, their property destroyed, and therefore they have a negative reaction. I think even this counts as self-pity. So, the universe seems cruel because it's just naturally what humans think sometimes.

Now, to the next question- are you experiencing misfortune because of your ethical worth/ overall "goodness"? I think not: You described people with 'good luck' as people with success, who are happy, and who live their dream. These people probably do. Say I accomplished all of those criteria, and am a lucky person. To accomplish those criteria, I probably will have done some very bad things. Think of 'lucky' people. Rich CEOs/rich politicians/wealthy famous people. These people have probably done worse things than you- climbing the ranks in life is nasty work. They are more 'bad' than you. So let's assume lucky people are usually ethically more 'wrong' than you.
So:
There is a very 'bad' person who is very lucky.
There is you, who is less 'bad' but much less lucky.
God would not punish you to be unlucky because you've made mistakes, but would punish the lucky person because they are worse.

Now to the last question- why is it making you depressed?: Once again, some of it is self pity. But also because you're tired and bored of persevering at life, I guess you could say. A trivial and pretty sloppy example would be "I play a video game, and I spend hours and hours trying to beat this one level. I just can't beat it. After hours and hours, what happens? I get really bored of the game, and sad that I can't beat it. I'm tired of trying, so I quit"
Basically, you're depressed because as you see it, 'the effort put in isn't worth it because there's no reward'.
Of course, take everything I've said with a few spoons of salt.
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Sy Borg
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Re: Have you ever feel that the universe conspires against you?

Post by Sy Borg »

Ha, you're not a bad person. Bad people don't wonder. And don't blame the poor old universe either, nor Mother Earth. You are simply a tiny chunk of the Earth that feels


It's just people. And humans are not so bad, just that there's too many of us. High population density raises tensions, competition, aggression and fearfulness in humans, as well as many other species.

Ever more people are feeling excluded because the competition for everything is now so hot. So more people are missing out. There is a growing disconnect between social expectations and what is possible. As with any population, some members will be in the thick of it while others are isolated on the fringes. This dynamic happens in everything from human societies to asteroid belts.

The most valuable thing you can possess at this stage is a passionate interest. I find that when I am in the flow, those little things tend to go my way. In a flow state, my mind is more attuned to potential opportunities than concerns. In that sense, one makes one's own luck. I don't say this as a smug platitude based on a Protestant work ethic. It's about love. It doesn't have to be love of a person or pet. It might be a hobby or a cause. I personally always like to have a project going. What I create might work out or, most often, it might be pretty damn ordinary. But there's something very pleasant about having a destination and then problem-solving one's way towards it, enjoying the little victories and nutting out challenges along the way. Or, conversely, not having a clear vision and following the creative process wherever it may lead - improv.
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