Philosophy Discussion Forums

What qualities are you attracted to in other people? Here are the things that I like: 1) Physical Attractiveness/Sexiness. 2) Physical Fitness. 3) Wisdom/Depth 4) Integrity/Completeness 5) Happiness/Positivity 6) Open-Mindedness/creativity 7) Generosity Child-like 9) Compassionate 10) Ambition: Not to go after money,but rather,to make some sort of difference in the world. On the other hand, Here are some of the things I don't like: 1) Fatal Flaws: Anything that you could Not live with in another person(bad habits etc) 2) Greed 3) Jealousy 4) Ignorance 5) Fear-ridden or Neurotic 6) Phony/Manipulative 7) Narcissistic Status Conscious/Materialistic 9) "Suffering" IN ITSELF is not attractive to me,and neither is imperfection. 1) Complementarity is incomprehensible to me in most cases(I'm NOT looking for my opposite in any way-this is a recipe for disaster).For example-if you're a neat freak,is it a good idea to marry a slob? Or-if you're a sweetheart-is it wise to be attracted to a psychopath? MR

This question is to vague for me answer. Attraction can be an equivocal word. To speak of the attractiveness of a certain model may mean to talk about how much looking at her makes you want to have sex, namely to have sex with her. The word 'attractive' would generally refer to a very different concept in the following sentence for example: "I think the 2009 model of this car is more attractive than the 2006 model." (Assuming none of us have a highly unusual love for automobiles.)

Even we specify that particular definition of the word attractiveness being used, the situational context still plays a major role in what one would find attractive. Demonstrations of physical strength may be attractive to many women for instance in certain situations, such as in a football game or when she needs help moving, but not others such as in an unnecessary bar fight or way over-hitting the ball in a golf game. A piece of lingerie might attract a man to a woman in the bedroom; yet the same man might be turned off by a woman who dresses 'like a slut' to a formal dinner.

Etherman50, even in your own list you seem to contradict yourself if we didn't consider context. For instance, you mention both integrity and positivity as both being traits you find attractive. But I think it would often be dishonest to express optimism in a negative situation. I certainly wouldn't appreciate if I called my wife and asked how everything's going and she says fine when our home is on fire. I'd prefer she expressed some horror. Similarly, you name ambition as attractive while condemning greed and narcissism, but really without depending on context these can't be distinguished; can they?

Relativism is always an important thing to look at. When I say,however,that I like integrity-and physical fitness,I'm saying that I like these traits in almost a complete manner. In other words,I wouldn't want to trade one for the other. Nobody is perfect,but certain traits are essential to me. Looking good is important in an aesthetic sense,but also a self esteem sense. Integrity,to me,is essential in living a harmonious existence without contradiction. Certain traits are obviously more desirable in certain situations than others,but fatal flaws,are usually just that,fatal. Some may argue to the contrary-but,I find that traits such as greed,jealousy,and low self esteem to be fatal flaws. Now,the manner or degree of these traits is important-and like everything else-judgement becomes important here. For example,when does jealousy become a problem? I use my intuition here-in other words,I have my own "definition" or "felt sense" as to what constitutes excessive. Finally,everyone has their own definitions,and choices, of what are "fatal" flaws and what form the limits of those subjectively chosen flaws. MR

"Beauty is within the eye of the beholder"

What you find attractive I may not. Vice versa.

I may think the colour purple is the world's most beautiful colour, others may prefer red.

The question you raise is quite pointless unless you are just curious in what other people's taste of attractivness is.

Don't be surprise that there those odd few people out there who just loves your so called "fatal flaw".. oh yeah, its true. Some people like to see bad table manners, and find farting loudly funny. This world is weird, believe me...

Self-sufficiency and the size of self-realization...