Why do we dislike women/girls which have had a lot of sex

[Logic_ill]

Sexually promiscuous men are celebrated for some reason. But if we really think about it, it may reflect how men are not as rational as they might have believed, since they were the ones that came up with these social values. To me, it somehow erases any claims of superiority of the past (other than some physical attributes). It shows that they do not take the time to actually know people (women in this case).

Regarding women and promiscuity, I think they might be on a similar boat then men who are promiscuous. My thoughts are that they many may not value the person in question as much as they do the feelings derived from the sexual acts or the varied relationships. They fail, as many men, to make deeper connections with men. Unless, and this happens a lot, that they cannot find a man that they want to take them seriously (commit to them). But the same happens with the male.

Generally, I do not think that most people are genuinely commitment oriented. The reason I say this is because, once divorce, separation, or having many loves or lovers is less looked down on for both sexes, then people have more relationships.

I still think, however, that women are a bit more commitment/relationship oriented. This somehow reflects men's lower ability to make distinctions between possible mates, which in turn says much for women who actually sleep with them...

[LuckyR]

Somehow this strikes me as a 20th century question. Currently no one is immune from criticism, as many have noted here. The virginal, the less experienced, the overly experienced, even the "vanillas" are ridiculed by someone. The upshot of universal criticism, blunts the impact of any criticism, thus it equates to universal acceptance (if we are all criticized).

[Misty]

There was a tribe on a TV documentary where the women had the upper hand where sex was/is concerned. A small population, women were the ones who had multiple partners, as each woman had a child by different men for a period of time so there was less incest. Men only had sex when it was their turn to procreate.

There was another program where a prostitute who said she had sex with over 4,000 men was courted by one of her Johns who wanted to marry her. She married him and quit prostituting herself.

Men feel less guilty or no guilt for having sex with someone who seems to not value herself by being promiscuous.

Then again there are men who only want to have sex with a virgin, a one time deal, as they are no longer desired when deflowered.

Sexual desire and treating each human humanely is not communicated very well in any society. We have a long way to go.

The story of Marilyn Monroe has been on HBO lately. A good example of both sexes using and misunderstanding each other.

[Logic_ill]

"Men feel less guilty or no guilt for having sex with someone who seems to not value herself by being promiscuous."

I don't know if the above is true, Misty, but it's interesting that you mention this. Why would a woman who is promiscuous seem not to value herself? Why would the guy consider himself or anyone consider the guy valuable, nevertheless? How could we say that a woman who is promiscuous doesn't value herself, but not say it of the men that sleep with her?

My take on this today as opposed to when I was growing up (eighties and nineties) is that guys were able to be promiscuous and it did not affect their reputation, but might have enhanced it. Women who were promiscuous got the bad reputation.

But the truth is that because I was young, I couldn't understand the situation too well. Now that I'm older, I realize that there's much lying (no pun intended), when it comes to sex and sexual activity. Guys might have wanted to seem promiscuous, but they weren't or lied about it. Some might have been promiscuous but with prostitutes, so that really doesn't count that much with respect "to earning a good reputation" in the eyes of their peers. Some others were promiscuous, but it wasn't as if they were having sex with a Madonna (the singer, dancer), a Jlo or so many bombastic females that everyone coveted or desired. They didn't get the smart, pretty girls either, unless they lied to them for too long. They might have had some activity with two or three good looking girls, if they had the money, good looks, talents, and bored drunk/drugged women around them

Women can be superficial too and they are the better liars about sex. However, I think,that they might score more often than men, if they wanted to. That might be the case because men are less selective than women, when it comes to sexual activity. Women would be able to choose a sexual mate more often than men, is what I mean. But sometimes they are both "out of luck".

Anyhow, I do not value a promiscuous woman less than a promiscuous man. Neither do I think that the female does not value herself because she is promiscuous. I just think that promiscuity could be risky. Also, finding something or someone a person can deeply (no pun intended again) connect to, or have an enriching relationship with, is not easy. Maybe it rarely happens for all of us. I think that may be one of the reasons why some people may fall into promiscuity. They simply have not found the right person for them or the person they think is right, doesn't correspond. It may also be due to lack of experience with relationships, so they do not realize what they have, when they have it. Then, there are also the people that simply want to have many relationships and maybe feel they haven't lived, if they didn't. Some don't want stable relationships.

[Elder]

I always thought that we were unfortunate to have evolved from the chimpanzee line. My sympathies lie with the bonobo apes.

The species is best characterized as female-centered and egalitarian and as one that substitutes sex for aggression. Whereas in most other species sexual behavior is a fairly distinct category, in the bonobo it is part and parcel of social relations--and not just between males and females. Bonobos engage in sex in virtually every partner combination (although such contact among close family members may be suppressed). And sexual interactions occur more often among bonobos than among other primates. Despite the frequency of sex, the bonobo's rate of reproduction in the wild is about the same as that of the chimpanzee. A female gives birth to a single infant at intervals of between five and six years. So bonobos share at least one very important characteristic with our own species, namely, a partial separation between sex and reproduction.

...and another quote on the bonobos, after their genome was sequenced:

Ulindi, a female bonobo at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany, has had her genome sequenced, researchers report today (June 13, 2012), making bonobos the last of the great apes to have their genomes mapped. The resulting genetic code may help unlock the secrets that separate humans — physically, intellectually and behaviorally — from our closest primate relatives. Bonobos are often seen as the chimpanzee's peaceful cousin. The two primates look very similar and are very closely related, but for some reason chimps resolve conflicts with war while bonobos prefer sex to resolve arguments. Previous studies have also shown that bonobos are more generous with food than chimps are.

Wouldn't you like to belong to a species that isn't so neurotic about sex as we humans are, and use it to resolve conflicts, instead of war and aggression?