How do we decide what actions to take in life?

[Philosophically lost]

When we make a choice about something significant we are basically choosing are values. where should a person look for their values. Is it all reason, is it emotion. How do we choose what philosophy of life to subscribe to and even if none. How do we make our choices?

[Philosophically lost]

I guess your choices depend alott on what you believe. I don't believe in much so it's hard for me to make choices. I like to believe in moral truths that are eternal. But sometimes I doubt that. Same as God. I want to believe in god but then I doubt. For me wether there's a god or not would make a big difference in how I make my choices. But I doubt everything at times and wonder if we are just floating through space aimlessly and without a purpose. If the universe is cold and doesn't care then I'm gonna make much different desicions then if their was an all loving god. I would like to hear how others make their desicions because I'm lost.

[JackDaydream]

@Philosophically lost

Making decisions is so complex and many people seem to question to what extent people have any free will. On the other hand, at any moment in time, a person may stand with one or two, options, which is the existential experience of choice, however it is determined in a larger scheme. It may be about some kind of weighing up of the pros and cons of choices amidst uncertainty. It may be that like being a mouse going round in a maze, searching for the exit. If only there was some 'divine' being to guide the way, or if there is, perhaps, it may be not wishing to hear the answers. The confusion of being lost may be horrific or be wonderful, as being the starting point for stumbling through darkness towards the unknown. I am not sure to what extent this answers your question but it is how I see choice in the face of uncertainty and, about how the future is found through going through the tunnels of precarious possibilities.

[stevie]

When we make a choice about something significant we are basically choosing are values. where should a person look for their values. ...

I guess your choices depend alott on what you believe. ... I would like to hear how others make their desicions because I'm lost.

I think basically humans start with what their native culture, parents, education has taught them. In the course of life some or all of the learned values will be modified or even dropped based on individual experiences. I think the main potential conflict in my native culture may be that between material values (possessions, wealth) and ideal values (well-being, happiness and the like). I am not saying that these are not compatible but I am saying that one of these usually dominates decision-taking. So I guess that everyone has to decide how to put priorities sooner or later.
I've come across different ways of looking at life and things and sorted out what didn't appear useful/practical or contradicted my own personal insights.

[LuckyR]

I guess your choices depend alott on what you believe. I don't believe in much so it's hard for me to make choices. I like to believe in moral truths that are eternal. But sometimes I doubt that. Same as God. I want to believe in god but then I doubt. For me wether there's a god or not would make a big difference in how I make my choices. But I doubt everything at times and wonder if we are just floating through space aimlessly and without a purpose. If the universe is cold and doesn't care then I'm gonna make much different desicions then if their was an all loving god. I would like to hear how others make their desicions because I'm lost.

Here's how to make choices. Ultimately you need to be true to yourself. However, that is not necessarily a pass to act selfishly. If your moral code puts a high value on the common good, for example, then being true to yourself means work for the common good, which naturally means also putting others folks' wellbeing ahead of your own at certain times. Perhaps your moral code values fairness, well then if someone else actually deserves your efforts more than you do, then you should act accordingly.

Ultimately, when you are on your deathbed and are looking back on the choices you made, you're the one who should have no regrets and should be content with your actions.

Good luck.

[Pattern-chaser]

When we make a choice about something significant we are basically choosing are values. where should a person look for their values. Is it all reason, is it emotion. How do we choose what philosophy of life to subscribe to and even if none. How do we make our choices?

It's all logic and reason ... and emotions, and probably quite a few other influences too, all mixed-up together. The human psyche is a complex thing...

[Tegularius]

When we make a choice about something significant we are basically choosing are values. where should a person look for their values. Is it all reason, is it emotion. How do we choose what philosophy of life to subscribe to and even if none. How do we make our choices?

Usually by improvising and compromising.

[Alias]

When we make a choice about something significant we are basically choosing are values. where should a person look for their values. Is it all reason, is it emotion. How do we choose what philosophy of life to subscribe to and even if none. How do we make our choices?

Nobody makes ordinary decisions on the basis of a philosophy; we make them for safety, security, love, ambition, expediency - mundane desires and requirements. Every now and then, a person is impelled to make a serious life-changing or life-ending decision for their beliefs, but most of the time, our convictions are in the background of practicality.

As for a philosophy of life, you don't choose one. You inherit one; if it fits well enough, you keep wearing it. Or you outgrow the one you inherited and build a new one for yourself. Or, you are seduced away from the one you inherited by a more attractive philosophy. Or - rarely - you have an epiphany: something happens to shake you into a whole new way of seeing the world.

[AgentSmith]

I guess your choices depend alott on what you believe. I don't believe in much so it's hard for me to make choices. I like to believe in moral truths that are eternal. But sometimes I doubt that. Same as God. I want to believe in god but then I doubt. For me wether there's a god or not would make a big difference in how I make my choices. But I doubt everything at times and wonder if we are just floating through space aimlessly and without a purpose. If the universe is cold and doesn't care then I'm gonna make much different desicions then if their was an all loving god. I would like to hear how others make their desicions because I'm lost.

Here's how to make choices. [1]Ultimately you need to be true to yourself. However, that is not necessarily a pass to act selfishly. If your moral code puts a high value on the common good, for example, then being true to yourself means work for the common good, which naturally means also putting others folks' wellbeing ahead of your own at certain times. Perhaps your moral code values fairness, well then if someone else actually deserves your efforts more than you do, then you should act accordingly.

Ultimately, [2]when you are on your deathbed and are looking back on the choices you made, you're the one who should have no regrets and should be content with your actions.

Good luck.

[1]Sounds like authenticity. I can't quite place this concept; if memory serves, it'a an existentialist concept. Can you help me out, please?

[2] I doubt that there ever will be a person who doesn't have regrets. In fact, the people I've seen dying (grandparents) seem burdened by worries (about the welfare of their children, etc.). Are worries regrets? I have a feeling they are. To the main point now: Your recommendation to live life in a way that you have no regrets is a privilege only a handful have been given, it's rarer than a blue moon so to speak. In other words, your advice, although great/good, fails to give solace in death for 99% of the dying. The question then is "how to face death with regret, tons of it?"

[chewybrian]

[1]Sounds like authenticity. I can't quite place this concept; if memory serves, it'a an existentialist concept. Can you help me out, please?

It is an existentialist idea. It is the opposite of determinism, in that it holds people accountable for their choices. However, the main idea is that we must hold ourselves accountable for our own ideas and actions, rather than judging others. We can't blame outside circumstances for our own weaknesses when we cave to our fears or follow our selfish desires. We also can't accept some moral code because society or our family wishes to impose it upon us, unless we agree with it deep down. We should (actually MUST, since there is no other choice!) form our own ideas of right and wrong after careful consideration of our situation. We should try to form ourselves into the type of person we think all people should be, and try to make all our actions consistent with our beliefs. We should present to the world a person who is consistent with our inner self. When we make a choice, we choose by extension for all mankind. If we choose well, we shine a light for others to possibly follow. If we choose poorly, others may also follow that poor example. We are not "allowed" to be a free rider, hoping that others will help to form the world into what we wish it to be without playing our own part well.

We should also be careful to reserve judgement about others, recognizing that they may have different ideas about how we should be. <This is where the idea of "hell is other people" comes into play. We may hold others accountable to our own moral code rather than their own. We may see them in the roles in which we encounter them, as a personification of the role, rather than as themselves as a subject separate from the role. If we judge others as static objects, which is rather easy to do, we will not allow them the room to grow and get better that we would wish to reserve for ourselves. We can see the seemingly nasty things they have done, and we can judge them harshly if we wish. But, we would want them to understand the poor choices we have made, and to forgive us due to the asterisks we might want to tack on to explain our own actions.

https://warwick.ac.uk/fac/cross_fac/com ... re-eih.pdf

Quietism is the attitude of people who say, “let others do what I cannot do.” The doctrine I
am presenting before you is precisely the opposite of this, since it declares that there is
no reality except in action. It goes further, indeed, and adds, “Man is nothing else but
what he purposes, he exists only in so far as he realises himself, he is therefore nothing
else but the sum of his actions, nothing else but what his life is.” Hence we can well
understand why some people are horrified by our teaching. For many have but one
resource to sustain them in their misery, and that is to think, “Circumstances have been
against me, I was worthy to be something much better than I have been. I admit I have
never had a great love or a great friendship; but that is because I never met a man or a
woman who were worthy of it; if I have not written any very good books, it is because I
had not the leisure to do so; or, if I have had no children to whom X could devote myself it
is because I did not find the man I could have lived with. So there remains within me a
wide range of abilities, inclinations and potentialities, unused but perfectly viable, which
endow me with a worthiness that could never be inferred from the mere history of my
actions.” But in reality and for the existentialist, there is no love apart from the deeds of
love; no potentiality of love other than that which is manifested in loving; there is no
genius other than that which is expressed in works of art. The genius of Proust is the
totality of the works of Proust; the genius of Racine is the series of his tragedies, outside
of which there is nothing. Why should we attribute to Racine the capacity to write yet
another tragedy when that is precisely what he — did not write? In life, a man commits
himself, draws his own portrait and there is nothing but that portrait. No doubt this thought
may seem comfortless to one who has not made a success of his life. On the other hand,
it puts everyone in a position to understand that reality alone is reliable; that dreams,
expectations and hopes serve to define a man only as deceptive dreams abortive hopes,
expectations unfulfilled; that is to say, they define him negatively, not positively.
Nevertheless, when one says, “You are nothing else but what you live,” it does not imply
that an artist is to be judged solely by his works of art, for a thousand other things
contribute no less to his definition as a man. What we mean to say is that a man is no
other than a series of undertakings, that he is the sum, the organisation, the set of
relations that constitute these undertakings., Sartre, "Existentialism is a Humanism"

[2] I doubt that there ever will be a person who doesn't have regrets. In fact, the people I've seen dying (grandparents) seem burdened by worries (about the welfare of their children, etc.). Are worries regrets? I have a feeling they are. To the main point now: Your recommendation to live life in a way that you have no regrets is a privilege only a handful have been given, it's rarer than a blue moon so to speak. In other words, your advice, although great/good, fails to give solace in death for 99% of the dying. The question then is "how to face death with regret, tons of it?"

I think authenticity is a goal for which we reach, like wisdom. We can only approach it and we will make mistakes along the way and allow our weaknesses to show through at times. I can't say that anyone would not have regrets, but I would try to console them to remember the good that they did do along the way, and to judge themselves fairly for the effort. You can't give yourself a pass for no effort, but you can realize that nobody reaches the goal, and give yourself a passing grade if you made a solid effort, rather then lamenting not getting a perfect score.

[Pattern-chaser]

[1]Sounds like authenticity. I can't quite place this concept; if memory serves, it'a an existentialist concept. Can you help me out, please?

[2] I doubt that there ever will be a person who doesn't have regrets. In fact, the people I've seen dying (grandparents) seem burdened by worries (about the welfare of their children, etc.). Are worries regrets? I have a feeling they are. To the main point now: Your recommendation to live life in a way that you have no regrets is a privilege only a handful have been given, it's rarer than a blue moon so to speak. In other words, your advice, although great/good, fails to give solace in death for 99% of the dying. The question then is "how to face death with regret, tons of it?"

...which surely leads to a different topic than this one. Will you be starting it?

[LuckyR]

I guess your choices depend alott on what you believe. I don't believe in much so it's hard for me to make choices. I like to believe in moral truths that are eternal. But sometimes I doubt that. Same as God. I want to believe in god but then I doubt. For me wether there's a god or not would make a big difference in how I make my choices. But I doubt everything at times and wonder if we are just floating through space aimlessly and without a purpose. If the universe is cold and doesn't care then I'm gonna make much different desicions then if their was an all loving god. I would like to hear how others make their desicions because I'm lost.

Here's how to make choices. [1]Ultimately you need to be true to yourself. However, that is not necessarily a pass to act selfishly. If your moral code puts a high value on the common good, for example, then being true to yourself means work for the common good, which naturally means also putting others folks' wellbeing ahead of your own at certain times. Perhaps your moral code values fairness, well then if someone else actually deserves your efforts more than you do, then you should act accordingly.

Ultimately, [2]when you are on your deathbed and are looking back on the choices you made, you're the one who should have no regrets and should be content with your actions.

Good luck.

[1]Sounds like authenticity. I can't quite place this concept; if memory serves, it'a an existentialist concept. Can you help me out, please?

[2] I doubt that there ever will be a person who doesn't have regrets. In fact, the people I've seen dying (grandparents) seem burdened by worries (about the welfare of their children, etc.). Are worries regrets? I have a feeling they are. To the main point now: Your recommendation to live life in a way that you have no regrets is a privilege only a handful have been given, it's rarer than a blue moon so to speak. In other words, your advice, although great/good, fails to give solace in death for 99% of the dying. The question then is "how to face death with regret, tons of it?"

It isn't necessarily existentialism, as it is broader than a philosophy, it is upstream of that branching-off point. It means authenticity, to use your phrasing. Therefore if you are an existentialist, make decisions that reflect that standard, however if you are an essentialist, act accordingly.

While it is the goal to not have regrets, it is not a failure to have some. None of us is perfect. Worries are absolutely not equivalent to regrets. Worries are concerns about possible future negative outcomes. Regrets are emotions associated with past errors of judgment. You allude to the rarity of having the freedom to live authentically. You are half right. It is quite easy to live authentically... if one is willing to accept the consequences of doing so. It is indeed rare though to have the freedom to live authentically, without having to pay a price.

The OP doesn't address facing death, I just used that phrasing to illustrate the best mindset to make decisions.

[AgentSmith]

I guess your choices depend alott on what you believe. I don't believe in much so it's hard for me to make choices. I like to believe in moral truths that are eternal. But sometimes I doubt that. Same as God. I want to believe in god but then I doubt. For me wether there's a god or not would make a big difference in how I make my choices. But I doubt everything at times and wonder if we are just floating through space aimlessly and without a purpose. If the universe is cold and doesn't care then I'm gonna make much different desicions then if their was an all loving god. I would like to hear how others make their desicions because I'm lost.

Here's how to make choices. [1]Ultimately you need to be true to yourself. However, that is not necessarily a pass to act selfishly. If your moral code puts a high value on the common good, for example, then being true to yourself means work for the common good, which naturally means also putting others folks' wellbeing ahead of your own at certain times. Perhaps your moral code values fairness, well then if someone else actually deserves your efforts more than you do, then you should act accordingly.

Ultimately, [2]when you are on your deathbed and are looking back on the choices you made, you're the one who should have no regrets and should be content with your actions.

Good luck.

[1]Sounds like authenticity. I can't quite place this concept; if memory serves, it'a an existentialist concept. Can you help me out, please?

[2] I doubt that there ever will be a person who doesn't have regrets. In fact, the people I've seen dying (grandparents) seem burdened by worries (about the welfare of their children, etc.). Are worries regrets? I have a feeling they are. To the main point now: Your recommendation to live life in a way that you have no regrets is a privilege only a handful have been given, it's rarer than a blue moon so to speak. In other words, your advice, although great/good, fails to give solace in death for 99% of the dying. The question then is "how to face death with regret, tons of it?"

It isn't necessarily existentialism, as it is broader than a philosophy, it is upstream of that branching-off point. It means authenticity, to use your phrasing. Therefore if you are an existentialist, make decisions that reflect that standard, however if you are an essentialist, act accordingly.

While it is the goal to not have regrets, it is not a failure to have some. None of us is perfect. Worries are absolutely not equivalent to regrets. Worries are concerns about possible future negative outcomes. Regrets are emotions associated with past errors of judgment. You allude to the rarity of having the freedom to live authentically. You are half right. It is quite easy to live authentically... if one is willing to accept the consequences of doing so. It is indeed rare though to have the freedom to live authentically, without having to pay a price.

The OP doesn't address facing death, I just used that phrasing to illustrate the best mindset to make decisions.

Lovely!

I was just pondering on how unrealistic it is to advise people to live life such that they won't have any regrets. Yes, if you play your cards just right, the goal is attainable, but most people make mistakes which is part of the learning process as far as I can tell.

[Waysofbeing]

[1]Sounds like authenticity. I can't quite place this concept; if memory serves, it'a an existentialist concept. Can you help me out, please?

It is an existentialist idea. It is the opposite of determinism, in that it holds people accountable for their choices. However, the main idea is that we must hold ourselves accountable for our own ideas and actions, rather than judging others. We can't blame outside circumstances for our own weaknesses when we cave to our fears or follow our selfish desires. We also can't accept some moral code because society or our family wishes to impose it upon us, unless we agree with it deep down. We should (actually MUST, since there is no other choice!) form our own ideas of right and wrong after careful consideration of our situation. We should try to form ourselves into the type of person we think all people should be, and try to make all our actions consistent with our beliefs. We should present to the world a person who is consistent with our inner self. When we make a choice, we choose by extension for all mankind. If we choose well, we shine a light for others to possibly follow. If we choose poorly, others may also follow that poor example. We are not "allowed" to be a free rider, hoping that others will help to form the world into what we wish it to be without playing our own part well.

However, to achieve any of this it is a life-long process to uncover and understand all the influences which have been at work on us; for example, what has influenced you to think that there is a type of person that "all people should be"? It always seems dangerous to me to do otherwise, although I agree that we might as well act as if we have a choice, as if we are a potential beacon.

[Elephant]

When we make a choice about something significant we are basically choosing are values. where should a person look for their values. Is it all reason, is it emotion. How do we choose what philosophy of life to subscribe to and even if none. How do we make our choices?

It is our personality that dominates our decision-making. Of course, our personality at this point of decision-making has already been shaped by our morality and upbringing, so let's take that as implied already. So, we use our own personality to make a decision about important things. We might choose to not put too much importance on money, instead, and put high regard on the kindness and goodness of people. If our personality frowns at the materialistic attitude of people, then we gravitate towards genuine relationship, kindness, and simplicity -- not on extravagance, not on looking down on simple life, etc.

I know that the Cynics eschew materialistic life and what's fancy and pretentious -- to a fault. Because they invariably frown at everything fun. lol. So, I don't know if one would like to be a cynic.
There's stoicism. If you fancy modest-powerful existence. Then, there's Schopenhauer's take on life. And so on.