Best approach to life?

Use this forum to discuss the August 2021 Philosophy Book of the Month, Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream by Dr Frank L Douglas
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Sushan
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Best approach to life?

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This topic is about the August 2021 Philosophy Book of the Month, Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream by Dr Frank L Douglas


I believe that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it, or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) will never return to that state of living again. Seemingly the author has managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences, and that helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured his family (wife and children) will never experience anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood.

What do you think about this author's approach to life? What is the best way to take this approach?
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers”

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Re: Best approach to life?

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Sushan wrote: August 4th, 2021, 11:55 pm This topic is about the August 2021 Philosophy Book of the Month, Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream by Dr Frank L Douglas


I believe that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it, or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) will never return to that state of living again. Seemingly the author has managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences, and that helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured his family (wife and children) will never experience anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood.

What do you think about this author's approach to life? What is the best way to take this approach?
I think that learning from the good (by repeating it) and the bad (by avoiding it) is the correct answer. Having said that, it is not so simple. I agree that parents, on average are getting better over time (as one might predict if folks were following the author's lead). However this improvement is notable for being very slow, much slower than you would expect if each generation made significant improvements. I believe the origin of this improvement is better explained by folks realizing how difficult parenting is and deciding not to be parents at all (as opposed to being better parents than their own parents).
"As usual... it depends."
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Re: Best approach to life?

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LuckyR wrote: August 5th, 2021, 1:28 am
Sushan wrote: August 4th, 2021, 11:55 pm This topic is about the August 2021 Philosophy Book of the Month, Defining Moments of a Free Man from a Black Stream by Dr Frank L Douglas


I believe that a person reacts in one of two ways to their childhood. You either embrace it and learn from it, or you reject it and live your life in a way that will ensure you (and your future family) will never return to that state of living again. Seemingly the author has managed to do both. He definitely learned from his childhood experiences, and that helped him develop both determination and an intense desire to succeed; but he also 'rose through the ranks', so to speak, in a way that ensured his family (wife and children) will never experience anything even remotely like the deprivation he experienced in childhood.

What do you think about this author's approach to life? What is the best way to take this approach?
I think that learning from the good (by repeating it) and the bad (by avoiding it) is the correct answer. Having said that, it is not so simple. I agree that parents, on average are getting better over time (as one might predict if folks were following the author's lead). However this improvement is notable for being very slow, much slower than you would expect if each generation made significant improvements. I believe the origin of this improvement is better explained by folks realizing how difficult parenting is and deciding not to be parents at all (as opposed to being better parents than their own parents).
I think the example that children see from their parents have a huge impact on their behaviours when they become parents. Usually children of good parents become good parents and vice versa. But there are occasions that this happen in the opposite way as well.

Some might choose to repeat good and avoid bad. But as I believe many just choose to repeat what they see. Children who were abused by their parents tend to abuse their own children as well. Usually these are not seen as individual families but eentire societies. Economy also play a major role in this as it is related very much with the mental wellbeing.
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers”

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Re: Best approach to life?

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Well the main thing is, that one should insist to be happy and not get your good mood get killed by people that do insist that you meddle up with affairs of totally different people, for event that you could have never changed in any way at all. Just be yourself and enjoy life as much as you can, if not severe incidents that do inhibit your social life do happen ,this is the right recipe to live your life. You can not chang it , it does not affect your family and your beloved, why beeing annoyed, this shortens your lifespan for your heart and your health.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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detail wrote: August 5th, 2021, 10:42 am Well the main thing is, that one should insist to be happy and not get your good mood get killed by people that do insist that you meddle up with affairs of totally different people, for event that you could have never changed in any way at all. Just be yourself and enjoy life as much as you can, if not severe incidents that do inhibit your social life do happen ,this is the right recipe to live your life. You can not chang it , it does not affect your family and your beloved, why beeing annoyed, this shortens your lifespan for your heart and your health.
It is really good if you can remain happy and live your own life against all odds. But we are all human and we have limits that we can push ourselves into. When we pass those limits we tend to break and no one will be able to remain happy beyond that point. But atleast if one can hold his/herself together in such breaking points then he/she can later be happy about his/her courage and strength. That persistence is more useful than trying to be happy at every occasion.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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I feel like setting really simple and achievable goals was really how it used to be before the self-help and personal development industry began promoting the dreaming big mentality...Another example of us creating our own problems. My current goal: I’m being more mindful about the self-help content I consume cause I realized I’m reaching a saturation point and SO MANY VOICES fill my head with advice and hacks and tips and I forgot my own thoughts altogether.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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fionaimmodest wrote: August 13th, 2021, 5:37 am I feel like setting really simple and achievable goals was really how it used to be before the self-help and personal development industry began promoting the dreaming big mentality...Another example of us creating our own problems. My current goal: I’m being more mindful about the self-help content I consume cause I realized I’m reaching a saturation point and SO MANY VOICES fill my head with advice and hacks and tips and I forgot my own thoughts altogether.
I too do not believe in this self-help stuff. But if you have a personal mentor, he/she will be a great help for your success since he/she will give you tailor-made advice in contrast to 'common to all' self-help advice.

But for the goal setting, it is often said that you have to aim for the sky. Dreaming big can lead to big frustrations as well. But if you can set a realistic big goal and then plan the small steps to reach there, success won't be too far.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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fionaimmodest wrote: August 13th, 2021, 5:37 am I feel like setting really simple and achievable goals was really how it used to be before the self-help and personal development industry began promoting the dreaming big mentality...Another example of us creating our own problems. My current goal: I’m being more mindful about the self-help content I consume cause I realized I’m reaching a saturation point and SO MANY VOICES fill my head with advice and hacks and tips and I forgot my own thoughts altogether.
Thinking too much of this and that step to take clogs the mind; simply be your ideal; the end.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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I have no advice as to how to live a life.

We live in quasi-eusocial societies that entirely depend on the diversity of their members having different skills and aptitudes, different ways of being. Some do better channelling their anger. Others need to forgive to find peace. Others will use hardship as a springboard while others will simply fold.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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Try not to become a billionaire!
The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man ... Nietzsche
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Re: Best approach to life?

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PoeticUniverse wrote: August 14th, 2021, 2:46 pm
fionaimmodest wrote: August 13th, 2021, 5:37 am I feel like setting really simple and achievable goals was really how it used to be before the self-help and personal development industry began promoting the dreaming big mentality...Another example of us creating our own problems. My current goal: I’m being more mindful about the self-help content I consume cause I realized I’m reaching a saturation point and SO MANY VOICES fill my head with advice and hacks and tips and I forgot my own thoughts altogether.
Thinking too much of this and that step to take clogs the mind; simply be your ideal; the end.
You can be your own example and do what you feel correct. And that will definitely take you to success. But for that you have to train your ears to not take any inputs from the so many advisors and critics who will tell you what to do and what not to do. When you listen to them, in most cases, the result is similar to the soup that was made by too many cooks.
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Sushan
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Re: Best approach to life?

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Sy Borg wrote: August 14th, 2021, 6:00 pm I have no advice as to how to live a life.

We live in quasi-eusocial societies that entirely depend on the diversity of their members having different skills and aptitudes, different ways of being. Some do better channelling their anger. Others need to forgive to find peace. Others will use hardship as a springboard while others will simply fold.
I agree. There is diversity and it is needed. People should take part in various fields for the betterment and forward mmovement of the society. But for that if someone's failure too is necessary, then that forward movement raise problems. I believe personal development is important as much as the development of the society. So one's way of living should ensure these both aspects.
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers”

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Re: Best approach to life?

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Tegularius wrote: August 14th, 2021, 6:09 pm Try not to become a billionaire!
You have a point. Large and unrealistic goals will give you distress. And also having a large sum of money is not success. Money is a necessity, but having only that will not make you a successful person. The world will see you as a one, and put your photo on newspapers as well. But of you are not content then what is the meaning of that success?
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Re: Best approach to life?

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Sushan wrote: August 14th, 2021, 9:18 pmI believe personal development is important as much as the development of the society. So one's way of living should ensure these both aspects.
The development of certain, but not all, individuals is important for society in toto's development. That's why societies keep on endorsing a two-tier education system. It makes little difference if a small number of people, for instance, believe that the Earth is flat. However, it's essential that at least those with mission critical jobs are up to speed.
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Re: Best approach to life?

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fionaimmodest wrote: August 13th, 2021, 5:37 am I feel like setting really simple and achievable goals was really how it used to be before the self-help and personal development industry began promoting the dreaming big mentality...Another example of us creating our own problems. My current goal: I’m being more mindful about the self-help content I consume cause I realized I’m reaching a saturation point and SO MANY VOICES fill my head with advice and hacks and tips and I forgot my own thoughts altogether.
I recently posted about self-mastering over here in another thread:
viewtopic.php?p=391934#p391934
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