Well, that is quite a way to say it. But learning from experiences include being cautious as well. The person can always try a second relationship. But if he/she is an average human, definitely he/she will remain cautious. And we cannot find fault in that as well.Elephant wrote: ↑August 23rd, 2022, 9:48 pmTo me rising above pain means not allowing pain to be the determining factor of one's decision to live their life. So, say a person was once cheated by his/her significant other. That's very painful. So, the couple ended up separating. The person shouldn't stop trying another relationship again even if it could again result in another painful situation because of the advantages or joy that a new relationship could also bring to his life.
More than cure, more than prevention!
- Sushan
- Book of the Month Discussion Leader
- Posts: 2221
- Joined: February 19th, 2021, 8:12 pm
- Contact:
Re: More than cure, more than prevention!
– William James
- Sushan
- Book of the Month Discussion Leader
- Posts: 2221
- Joined: February 19th, 2021, 8:12 pm
- Contact:
Re: More than cure, more than prevention!
I agree. If we know any particular short term problem has nearly a zero percent chance of recurring, then we can choose to avoid it. But how many of us possess the ability to foresee the future? For chronic problems, as you said, it is better to go for elimination.LuckyR wrote: ↑August 24th, 2022, 3:03 amI don't disagree that there are chronic problems, such as addiction or depression, that are better faced and dealt with once and for all than using short term solutions to a long term problem. But I stand by my post on typical short term issues (which are the majority of problems).Sushan wrote: ↑August 19th, 2022, 12:29 pmI see. But what if overcoming comes with eliminating the negative and avoiding comes with the possibility of re-facing the same negative? Won't it be better to face (and feel) it once than doing so more than once?
– William James
-
- Posts: 762
- Joined: July 19th, 2021, 11:08 am
Re: More than cure, more than prevention!
Sushan wrote: ↑August 24th, 2022, 12:43 pmI find it quite confusing with the use of the word 'feelings' in two places. You say feelings are appearances, but then you have said about not seeking for particular feelings. Is 'feelings' something superficial, or something deep?stevie wrote: ↑August 20th, 2022, 1:19 amThere are appearances I pay attention to which is my understanding of "having interest in". E.g. I am reading your post and pay attention to the thoughts that appear. Feelings also are appearances, some of which I pay attention to but I am not seeking particular feelings or identify with them.Sushan wrote: ↑August 19th, 2022, 12:29 pmThank you very much. But your answer raises more questions in me (sorry for being curious and being too nosy). Don't you have any interests then? Don't you feel happy when you achieve something, or do you get a neutral feeling? (Once again, please keep in mind that you are not obliged to answer as these questions can be personal. Thank you)
It seems that feeelings are conditioned appearances. If causes and conditions are appropriate particular feelings appear.
One may condition oneself into thinking "If I achieve this or that then I will be happy." but then - having achieved this or that - it is possible that happiness does not appear. Why? Because some conditions are lacking.
Saying "I am not seeking particular feelings" means "I don't let me be deluded by appearing thoughts about doing this or that will entail the appearance of this or that agreeable feeling".
- Sushan
- Book of the Month Discussion Leader
- Posts: 2221
- Joined: February 19th, 2021, 8:12 pm
- Contact:
Re: More than cure, more than prevention!
If a person sets conditions that are necessary to be happy in order, he/she should be happy when those self-made conditions are fulfilled. If he/she is still unhappy it means that he/she has added some more conditions by him/herself.stevie wrote: ↑August 24th, 2022, 1:02 pmSushan wrote: ↑August 24th, 2022, 12:43 pmI find it quite confusing with the use of the word 'feelings' in two places. You say feelings are appearances, but then you have said about not seeking for particular feelings. Is 'feelings' something superficial, or something deep?stevie wrote: ↑August 20th, 2022, 1:19 amThere are appearances I pay attention to which is my understanding of "having interest in". E.g. I am reading your post and pay attention to the thoughts that appear. Feelings also are appearances, some of which I pay attention to but I am not seeking particular feelings or identify with them.Sushan wrote: ↑August 19th, 2022, 12:29 pm
Thank you very much. But your answer raises more questions in me (sorry for being curious and being too nosy). Don't you have any interests then? Don't you feel happy when you achieve something, or do you get a neutral feeling? (Once again, please keep in mind that you are not obliged to answer as these questions can be personal. Thank you)
It seems that feeelings are conditioned appearances. If causes and conditions are appropriate particular feelings appear.
One may condition oneself into thinking "If I achieve this or that then I will be happy." but then - having achieved this or that - it is possible that happiness does not appear. Why? Because some conditions are lacking.
Saying "I am not seeking particular feelings" means "I don't let me be deluded by appearing thoughts about doing this or that will entail the appearance of this or that agreeable feeling".
In your case, I understand it simply as being ready for the negative aspect, and it will leave you with no negative feelings even if you actually receive the negative results (failure). It reminds me of the frequent saying of MJ from the new Spider Man movie,
If you expect disappointment, then you can never really be disappointed.
– William James
2023/2024 Philosophy Books of the Month
Mark Victor Hansen, Relentless: Wisdom Behind the Incomparable Chicken Soup for the Soul
by Mitzi Perdue
February 2023
Rediscovering the Wisdom of Human Nature: How Civilization Destroys Happiness
by Chet Shupe
March 2023