Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Philosophy Club

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

This is a discussion forum topic for the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All

I figure those who read and enjoyed my book would also be interested in my journaling. I wrote this today:



Many people lacking in inner peace focus on 'helping others'.

They claim to be filling other people's cups with their own empty one.

Proverbially speaking, many dirty messy backyards exist because their owners are too busy imposing their alleged help on other people's yards.

When discontent people lacking inner peace (i.e. unhappy people) engage in this futile endeavor of allegedly putting other people's happiness first, and inevitably failing to live up to their savior complex, it gives them a scapegoat for their own unhappiness. Likely, that's precisely why they do it. Deep down, maybe just subconsciously, they are looking simply for a scapegoat, for an excuse.

They get to say to themselves, in one way or another, that they are unhappy because you or someone else is allegedly unhappy. They get to say that they are unhappy because you or whoever else allegedly didn't get your sh*t together. They get to say, to whoever it is, "I'm not happy because you're not happy." They get to say, "I'm not happy because you didn't let me save you." When they can't save the world (according to their own unaccepting standards of what a saved world be), they get to blame the world for their misery.

Unhappy people find comfort in blaming others.

Unhappy people want to try to save the world by re-creating the world in their unhappy image to their unhappy standards. And they--luckily--inevitably fail, and get to blame their unhappiness on their failure, meaning on the world being the way it is, unsaved by them.

Many times, people aren't really looking to be happy--meaning to have consistent inner peace--but rather looking for an excuse or scapegoat for their misery.

There's no shortage of unhappy people wanting to give you advice, if not put a literal or metaphorical gun to your head and force you to take their literally miserable advice and live by their literally miserable standards. Many would rule the world because they cannot rule themselves, at least not in a way that lets them be truly happy with inner peace.

Whether you are looking for a savior or someone to save, or both, look into a mirror.

Call it nirvana, enlightenment, inner peace, finding your soul, your true self, your god, or whatever you want. When you are truly happy in that way and your cup overflows, you don't even need to try to fill other people's cups. It happens on its own.

I'd talk about the contagiousness of smiles, but when you meet someone like that who has found it, what's there for all of us to find anywhere and everywhere, they don't even need to smile. They can force a frown to play sad, and you will still see it in their eyes. You will still feel it, from the tingle on your skin to the depths of your soul.

You are better off sitting in silence with a truly happy person than taking one bit of advice from an unhappy person who lacks inner peace.



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What do you think?

[AndreeaAG]

This book was a huge eye-opener for me. As was this post. "Unhappy people find comfort in blaming others." Blaming others is much easier than having the courage to claim your mistakes. Mistakes can be made right, unhappiness is a disease.

[Amy Luman]

We are really the only ones that can take on the responsibility of being our own savior, at least in this world. To save you requires that the savior be intimately acquainted with you in order to “fix” what’s wrong. You also need pretty much the same things to be saved from whatever it is, probably yourself.

[OTrain M]

Yes, I agree that happiness is personal thing that we are 100% responsible for as individuals. But, at the same time, I feel like other people do affect it somehow. It's hard to be positive in a room full of negatives, and you just can't move because either that might require resources you don't have to do that. So you end up staying in that proverbial toxi environment that affect your happiness. So as much as it your responsibility, other people still affect it greatly.

[Pauline Parnell]

I could see truth in this statement as there will be times when we will have the ability to help others around us and there will be times when we will be in need of help ourselves. We are indeed the man in the mirror!

[Wilkister Inzai Avagalwa]

I agree with the statement because the only person responsible for your happiness and inner peace is YOU. We sometimes blame others for our despair which is true but we are the major contributors to our peace. With as much as those around us cause us unhappiness, we are to blame for staying in that situation for too long yet we have the power to get out of it.

[Surabhi Rani]

That's right! We all need to work on ourselves. We will then find the world a happy place to live in. Only then, we will be able to see goodness in other people around us. Self-discovery is the key to true happiness and contentment in our lives.

[Shillah Andeso]

This is true. Inner peace results from accepting you. Being able to trust yourself. Despite knowing this, I'm unable to build a habit of having inner peace. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. I, however, hope that everyone gets the peace they deserve.

[ilze herholdt]

Unhappy people will always find someone to blame. Because it is easier to point fingers and blame other people, than to own up and admit to your mistakes. The only person responsible for your happiness and inner peace is you.

[Leasa Ana Maria]

Thankfully, I learned a long time ago that the only person who can save me or help me is not someone else but myself; I am the only one who can understand me the best. When you expect someone else to come and save you or solve your problems, you are only using external means to solve an internal problem whose only absolute solution is you and only you. You put a patch on a wound that needs healing, and as time passes, a faint pain will remain, reminding you that it was not the right solution. Why is it so easy to ask for or desire someone else's help, but we hardly consider ourselves the savior?

[Owuamanam Eberechukwu]

I totally agree with this. Only we can save we. Only I can keep I. No competition with anyone but yourself. It's a true proposition, sir.

[abstactlemon]

I always get sad when I see people waiting around to be helped. You have to do it yourself. The inner strength to move is what will save you.

[ReviewsByChristine]

"Many times, people aren't really looking to be happy--meaning to have consistent inner peace--but rather looking for an excuse or scapegoat for their misery. There's no shortage of unhappy people wanting to give you advice ..."

This is why it is so important to safeguard your own sanity. What we consume (what we read, who we talk to, who we allow in our friends group, the type of conversations and media we engage in) can either bring us down with them or lift us up to a better purpose.

[Hazel Mae Bagarinao]

When you are truly happy in that way and your cup overflows, you don't even need to try to fill other people's cups. It happens on its own.

Absolutely! It is automatic, when you are happy, the people you surrounded manifested your happy vibes. It is like a magnet. You shared what you have, you manifested to others what's within you. IMO

[José Cortez]

My saviour is ME! The only person who can save me is ME! If I spend my time blaming others for my situation and looking at all the possible ways something could have gone, which it didn't, then I cannot save myself. Unhappy people find time and joy in analysing these things and finding ways to blame others. Identifying the actual problem would help, and this is part of the process of self-discovery.