Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

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Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Nqobile Mashinini Tshabalala wrote: August 16th, 2023, 1:42 am I usually give people a chance to tell their stories and dish out unsolicited advice but I filter out a lot of what they say and how they say it so there are times when I do listen to unhappy people. But I agree with the rest!

[Emphasis added.]
I think we agree on everything because I was not and am not saying to "never listen to unhappy people".

Needless to say, there is a huge difference between merely 'listening' to someone versus taking their advice.

In analogy, there's a huge difference between looking at what time a broken clock says it is versus believing that it is that time.

In fact, there could be benefit to listening to what an unhappy person advises so that you can then intentionally do the opposite of what they suggest as to thereby aim to hopefully avoid doing the things that result in unhappiness.

In analogy, if you were trying to lose weight, it would be like listening to the exercise plan and food suggestions a morbidly obese person gives you so that you can go out of your way to avoid eating those foods and avoid following that kind of exercise plan.

I don't suggest blindly doing the opposite of what they advise, but there definitely can be benefits in listening to what they advise so you can note it down mentally as something that has been tested and failed already. :)


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Dalia Chaouaf wrote: August 16th, 2023, 9:09 am I don't know if I partially agree or simply disagree. Unhappy doesn't mean unwise.
I didn't say that unhappy means unwise.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Someone can be very wise, but you still don't want to take their advice if there is someone even wiser whose advice is available.

Someone can be very reliable, but you still don't want to take their advice if there is someone whose advice is even more reliable.

The question isn't whether or not an unhappy person's advice is always necessarily wrong, or is the absolute worst advice out there. The question isn't whether following an unhappy person's advice will always definitely make you unhappy.

Rather, where X is the reliability of someone's advice, in this case an unhappy person's advice, I'm not saying X is the worst, only that it isn't the best and isn't the absolute most reliable advice available to you.

The question is whether their advice is the absolute most reliable, and the answer is no, definitely not. All else the same, the advice from a happy person will be more reliable at making you happy than the advice of an unhappy person.

Even if the unhappy person's advice is very reliable despite the red flag of it being given by someone who failed to be happy, and thus who hasn't proved their advice works by using it themself as a test case, there is still even more reliable advice out there that has all the same pros of the failure's advice without the con that is that red flag of them not having proven their advice works by using it themself.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
Kajori Sheryl Paul
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

Very true. It is best to always choose the most reliable option because as humans we do not have unlimited time. As you said, a happy person has proven the efficacy of his advice, hence is more reliable.
jeminah28
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by jeminah28 »

I agree. The happy spirit of a happy person is helpful and uplifts someone's mood.
Pauline Parnell
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Pauline Parnell »

I understand why people will think so. However, I believe that everyone has a story to tell. Even if they are happy or unhappy., we must give everyone his due. Therefore everyone can learn from each other whether they are happy or unhappy.
Budding Author
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Budding Author »

I couldn't agree with you more. It's like a youtuber with 500 subscribers uploading a video on "How to grow your subscribers in minutes?"
An experienced person is worth more than a theoretically skillful person.
Hyfr Zack
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Hyfr Zack »

Unhappy people always corrupt the mind of the good ones with negativity. They would want to put you in the same situation with themselves. Bad energy bring unhappiness in one's life. As the saying goes "birds of a feather flocks together."
Chinenye Sus
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Chinenye Sus »

What you said about financial advise really got me because I have always had the same ideology. I feel like 80% of imparting good advice to someone lies on how you personally manifest what you are saying.
Jnapika D
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Jnapika D »

I think that is very subjective; there are a lot of things to consider before arriving at such conclusions, the main question being, Why are they poor? Why are they obese? Why are they unhappy? Then, is the cause modifiable or not? Are they obese because of genetic conditions or due to a lack of proper exercise and movement? Are they poor because of their lack of effort or because things are just not working out for them at the moment? Are they unhappy because of the loss of someone they love and cherish, or are they just innately pessimistic? If they are pessimists, then please don't listen to them, but if they are going through periods of grief or have gone through something like that before, you can rest assured that they can help you better than anyone else. The whys and hows are very important before drawing any concrete conclusions, and I think even though you shouldn't be taking direct advice from them, one can't deny the fact that we all learn from our mistakes, and what better way to grow faster than learning from others mistakes? So whether you want to take their advice or not, all of us can learn from each other's mistakes.
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Elindeque1992
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Elindeque1992 »

I believe that unhappiness sometimes means the person has gained experience in life. Negative people, on the other hand, I am a bit sceptical about. That is just my opinion, though.
PanwarP
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by PanwarP »

Advice should only be taken from those who are knowledgeable about the subject at hand. If those who are sad actually knew how to be happy, they would already be happy and in the category of people I can learn from.
Hy Be
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Hy Be »

I believe to take advice from both happy and unhappy people. Unhappy people may have gone through uncertain circumstances, which they might have regretted to chose certain choices. With experience of that people, I can approach certain choices with care.
Nenye Charles
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Nenye Charles »

Some unhappy people could give an advice, even though they don’t wish or plan to follow it. One needs to filter every advice carefully and dispose the ones which are irrelevant.
Nenye Charles
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Nenye Charles »

Again, some unhappy people may have passed through some certain things one may not have experienced. Reasons why they give the advice in the first place. They may not want you to fall prey again to such situation should one eventually encounter it.
RJ Reviews
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by RJ Reviews »

I will regard this point with a grain of salt. Truly unhappy people, who fails to find happiness or contentment in anything, may not be the best person to advise others. But there are plenty of people who are on their journey towards finding inner peace and happiness. Those people are learning how to realign their thought process and seek happiness in life. I believe that those people, despite not being 'happy' yet, will have valuable advices to share about their journey towards finding peace and contentment. Life, afterall, is about the journey rather than the destination.
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