Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I can see the logic in this statement; however, there could be some benefit to taking advice from unhappy people. Why are they not happy? Are you facing the same kind of situation as what is making them unhappy? If so, I believe that advice from anyone who has already faced that situation who help.

Imagine two people who are both going through divorce:

Person A follows the advice of someone who also went divorce but is unhappy.

Person B follows the advice of someone who also went through divorce but is happy.

Genuine question: Who do you think is more likely to be happy after following the advice given? Person A or Person B?

If I want to learn how to drive a car without crashing, and I can only take advice from one person, I will take driving advice from someone who has consistently driven without crashing for a long time rather than someone who crashes a lot.

[abstactlemon]

I understand your points, but I think the key phrase in my statement was "I can". I'm not trying to consume every piece of advice ever, I'm picking apart what I can learn from what people, what they say, the situations I find myself in. And that being said, advice is advice, not a command. I rarely follow the advice I'm given to a tee because discretion is what matters at the end of the day.

[Chiwelite Obioma Mgbeoji]

I may consider listening to the advice unhappy people have to give, but I would agree with you, I won't take advice from an unhappy person. Not necessarily because their advice would be wrong or make me unhappy anyway.

[José Cortez]

I agree with you. I should only take advice from people who have relevant knowledge of the topic being spoken of. It's like this joke that is made about a poor man hawking a book on ways to be rich. It does not seem like the book would be effective because if it were, the seller would have used it. If unhappy people truly knew the way to happiness, they would be happy and fall under the category of people I can take advice from.

[Bertha Jackson]

Very well said. It’s like Hughes said, “We can’t help starving children because we can’t help ourselves.” Misery loves company - to increase misery in most cases.

I agree with this statement because if we could help ourselves, we could possibly find a few dollars to help starving children. After reading this in the book, I started buying one less coffee at Starbucks to send a few dollars to St. Judes. Now, these children are not starving, but it is the same concept.

[Amarachi Nzeakor]

I haven't had experiences where people give me advice unsolicited. However, if I am going to listen to you, you must have experience with the topic at hand. So, unless I wish to know how "to be unhappy," I, too, must agree never to take advice from unhappy people. Half the time, they are unaware that they are even in that state of being.

[Blessing Chi Peculiar]

The following is the best piece of advice I've ever received.
"Don't take advice from anyone you wouldn't want to swap - at least part of their - lives with". If you follow this philosophy and keep things simple, always be grateful, and understand that true happiness comes from within rather than without, you will be gracious and happy no matter what. This is insightful.

[Cheryl Erickson]

I have grown up believing it best to surround myself with positive, intelligent, and successful people. These are the type of people that make up my inner circle and mentors that I seek advice from. I think it makes sense to ask for advice from happy people so that I can learn from them.

[ReviewsByChristine]

Taking advice from those who are the opposite of what you want (i.e. unhappy, overweight, broke) can be very helpful. Sometimes you need to learn what not to do before you make the same mistakes. A case of do as I say and not as I do.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

Taking advice from those who are the opposite of what you want (i.e. unhappy, overweight, broke) can be very helpful. Sometimes you need to learn what not to do before you make the same mistakes. A case of do as I say and not as I do.

Sure, one way to achieve a certain goal is to listen to what people who failed to achieve did and then do the opposite (or at least go of your way to not do what they did).

I wouldn't call that taking their advice. I'd call it learning from their bad example. It's the opposite of using them as a role model. We could call it using them as an anti-role-model.

If you are looking for directions to a place, you can use process of elimination: Learning, one by one, each route that is incorrect. However, if there are plenty of happy people who have successfully gone from where you are to the place to which you want directions, it will be much easiest, quicker, and more effective to ask them.

One role model is worth more than infinite anti-role-models.

We do learn something by learning that a wrong answer is wrong, but one right answer is worth a million known-to-be-wrong answers.

[Hazel Mae Bagarinao]

Unhappy people, in my opinion, don't have a strong foundation for their advice. How can you advise someone that even yourself needs to be fixed? In other words, how can you advise someone to be happy that even you haven't that happiness? How can you give if you don't have one?

[Davey Chijindu]

I'm so appreciative of this! You are surrounded by the people you choose to surround yourself with, according to the proverb. If you are among unhappy people, you will also get unhappy. A bad spirit can be transmitted from one person to another.

[Chris Alex Powell]

I think this makes sense, and it should apply in every area of life. A person who clearly has not been able to deal with the issues life has presented him or her with should not be relied on regarding issues that he does not have the solution to. Unhappy people do not have a way the happiness.

[Jack King 2]

This is a discussion forum topic for the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


I love and respect all people. However, in this human form, time, energy, money, and resources are very limited, so...

I don't take weight loss advice from morbidly obese people.

I don't take financial advice from financially poor people.

And I don't take any advice from unhappy people.


By unhappy people, I mean those who lack what I call "inner peace", meaning the consistent contentment of spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline).

Some people might call it "nirvana" or "the consistent joy of enlightenment". Some might just call it "true happiness". Some might just call it plain old happiness.

As a human writing to you right now, I consider myself to be someone who does consistently enjoy the true happiness and consistent contentment of free-spirited inner peace. In short, I consider myself to be happy, truly happy. As such, if you want advice from a happy person, here's my advice to you (offered politely for you to take or leave as you see fit): Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

That doesn't mean blindly do the opposite of what they advise either. As explained in the book, to blindly do the opposite of what one commands makes you just as much a slave to the commands. Rather, I simply suggest you disregard unhappy people's advice entirely, as much as reasonably possible.

You can definitely learn from someone else’s mistakes though. I’d agree it’s tough to take an advice on weight loss from an obese person. But if someone has gone from rich to poor or happy to unhappy you can follow their advice to avoid the same happening to you.

If they have never been happy/rich then that’s different but it’s still possible to have the knowledge on a subject but not put it into practice yourself. Look at sport for example often the best coaches were not the best players.

[Sugar Rush]

I would first agree that people cannot give what they don't have. However on a second thought an obese person may have good advice on how not to be like them but don't want to or can't practice it. However, it will make more sense to not take advice from people who can't follow them.