Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

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Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

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My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
Damian Keyes
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Damian Keyes »

I have received advice from people who others may deem unhappy or broken. The information they usually give is real, raw, and uncut. It’s not going to be as positive or encouraging as someone with inner peace, but they give advice based on what did or did not work for them. Sometimes it’s good to hear from both sides of the coin and choose for yourself what advice you want to internalize and live by.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Stoppelmann »

Damian Keyes wrote: April 22nd, 2023, 12:17 am I have received advice from people who others may deem unhappy or broken. The information they usually give is real, raw, and uncut. It’s not going to be as positive or encouraging as someone with inner peace, but they give advice based on what did or did not work for them. Sometimes it’s good to hear from both sides of the coin and choose for yourself what advice you want to internalize and live by.
I agree, and I think that happiness is not a sure sign of wisdom. There was a saying around many years ago that a ticket is only worth something when you validate it, and when you do, it is used. Human beings very often find themselves in a similar situation, especially when they are fully engaged for others and are worn out by their activity. I knew a nurse who was absolutely brilliant and who coped with every situation, but when I met her, she was struggling with her health. Someone suggested that she should have thought more about herself over the years, and she replied, yes, I could have, but then only I would have profited from my actions, as it was, many people profited from them. It is too easy to just see the individual in their unhappiness or brokenness and fail to see that devotion can have that effect, and just because a person does not appear happy, doesn’t mean that they are not satisfied with their labour.

Another point is that which you made, that we tend to learn from mistakes, and people who have made mistakes that made them unhappy can have good advice for people who are in danger of making the same mistakes.
“Find someone who makes you realise three things:
One, that home is not a place, but a feeling.
Two, that time is not measured by a clock, but by moments.
And three, that heartbeats are not heard, but felt and shared.”
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Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Damian Keyes wrote: April 22nd, 2023, 12:17 am I have received advice from people who others may deem unhappy or broken. The information they usually give is real, raw, and uncut. It’s not going to be as positive or encouraging as someone with inner peace, but they give advice based on what did or did not work for them. Sometimes it’s good to hear from both sides of the coin and choose for yourself what advice you want to internalize and live by.
I don't disagree with anything you are saying.

Keep in mind, I am not at all claiming that unhappy people always give incorrect advice or always give advice that will make you unhappy.

Likewise, I am not saying that financially poor people will always give incorrect or bad financial advice. Likewise, I am not saying that morbidly obese people will always give you wrong or bad weight loss advice.

The point is that if given the choice to take advice from (1) a person who is 99% reliable versus (2) a person who is 98% reliable, it's wisest to go with #1.

If given the choice between taking advice that is (1) very great versus (2) merely very good, then take the great advice not the very good advice.

I'm not saying you will necessarily end up unhappy by taking the unhappy person's advice, but I am saying you will tend to get even better results by taking the advice of someone who has all the same qualification but also has the extra qualification of also being happy.

For those who would suggest taking advice from unhappy people, I must ask: Are you truly and consistently happy? Do you have consistent seemingly invincible inner peace (what some might even call nirvana)? If not, then maybe it's time to take my advice which is to never take advice from unhappy people, especially since the other way clearly isn't working.
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by sam_rahman12 »

What if these advices teach you something new and help you in a way that turns out better for you? Yes, unhappy people are mostly dissatisfied with themselves and therefore can be petty. But I also see the truth in not always listening to such people. So I am a bit torn between both sides. I think it depends on the demands of the situation you are in and who you are surrounded with.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

sam_rahman12,

Thank you for your question! :)

sam_rahman12 wrote: April 29th, 2023, 11:03 am What if these advices teach you something new and help you in a way that turns out better for you?
Then, on average, you will still be significantly worse off and less successful on average compared to if you instead took the even better and even more reliable advice that's out there, namely the advice that's also shown to work by being put into practice by the person giving it.

To be happy and successful, you don't want to look for the advice that merely isn't the worst. You don't want to look for the advice that is merely not bad.

I'm not saying that unhappy people always give bad advice, nor am I saying that they are always wrong, nor am I saying that by following an unhappy person's advice you will always necessarily end up unhappy.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

There is a very important reason that in the Original Post (OP) I wrote, "in this human form, time, energy, money, and resources are very limited".

An important premise in my reasoning is to consider the significant opportunity cost in taking anyone's advice, since you have to say no to almost all advice. There's millions of people offering advice about any one thing, but you can only afford to take advice from a very few at most. For instance, you can only test out a handful of different diet and exercise plans throughout a human life. Thus, when it comes to the reliability of a potential advisor or piece of advice, even very good isn't good enough. To have the best chance of success, you need the best of the best.

It's not that poor people necessarily always give bad financial advice, but rather that all else the same the financial advice from someone who is financially successful is at least slightly better, namely in terms of being slightly more reliable since it has that extra qualification of having been tested and shown to work by the one giving that advice. You cannot afford to take advice that is merely not bad. To have the best chance of success, you need to find the advice that is most reliable and that's the best of the best.

If you are looking for weight loss advice that actually works for you to lose weight and keep it off, it's not the case that morbidly obese people necessarily give bad weight loss advice, but rather that all else the same the weight loss advice from someone who has successfully lost the weight and kept it off is at least slightly better and/or more reliable since it also has the extra qualification of having been tested and proven to work by the one giving the advice.

My advice: Don't pass up the exceptionally great for the merely good.

Don't take advice just because it's merely not the worst. Don't take advice just because it's merely not bad.




Thank you,
Scott
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by sam_rahman12 »

Scott wrote: May 1st, 2023, 10:40 pmMy advice: Don't pass up the exceptionally great for the merely good.

That is a pretty good advice. Also something that I think everyone needs to hear once in a while, including me. Thank you!
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Vivian Writes »

I agree that if someone hasn’t attained success in what they’re preaching about, it just means that they’re not the best advice authority you can get on the topic. Some people, though, have learnt lots from failure and they know how to not fail at something but maybe they don’t have the will to implement all that knowledge. But hey, it’s better not to risk your own future on that. And when it comes to emotions like grief, only people who have lost someone too can truly understand.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Vivian Writes wrote: May 3rd, 2023, 7:00 am I agree that if someone hasn’t attained success in what they’re preaching about, it just means that they’re not the best advice authority you can get on the topic.
Yes, exactly! Well said! :D
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by JUSTIN CHRISTENSEN »

Your approach to seeking advice from people who have experienced success in their respective areas is understandable, as it's natural to look up to those who've achieved a level of mastery or fulfillment in what they do. However, I'd like to offer an alternative perspective for your consideration.

While it's essential to be discerning in who you seek advice from, I like to also bear in mind that everyone's journey and experiences are unique. Sometimes, those who have faced adversity or struggled in certain aspects of life may have valuable insights that can be beneficial to others. Their experiences, even if they haven't reached the same level of success or happiness, can still provide lessons or cautionary tales that help guide others. Think of Thomas Edison. He famously had 1,000 failed attempts to create a lightbulb before getting it right. Most people quote this fact in conjunction with Edison's thoughts about it, where he stated that he didn't fail 1,000 times, the lightbulb was just an invention with 1,000 steps.

The counterargument I would present to your original post is that, in between the 1,000th failure and the 1st success, I think Edison would have had some incredibly valuable advice about lightbulbs. According to your metric, you shouldn't take advice about light-bulb making from someone who has tried and failed to create a lightbulb 1,000 times. In reality, however, that individual is much more well-suited to giving advice than someone who has never even tried.

My alternative metric is to consider a person's path in life rather than their current circumstances when taking advice. Someone who led a successful career in bodybuilding but is now morbidly obese because of a car accident that robbed them of their ability to walk likely has some very valuable advice about physical fitness. Someone who is financially poor because they've just spent every dollar they own investing in a promising new start-up may be the best person to listen to to secure your financial future. What I'm saying is, I don't believe in "black and white". The world is made of shades of grey.
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

JUSTIN CHRISTENSEN wrote: May 3rd, 2023, 1:27 pm Sometimes, those who have faced adversity or struggled in certain aspects of life may have valuable insights that can be beneficial to others.
Sure, I agree, but accordingly I never am not saying that unhappy people always give advice that is completely devoid of any value at all.

To repeat what I've written repeatedly in preceding posts:

An important premise in my reasoning is to consider the significant opportunity cost in taking anyone's advice, since you have to say no to almost all advice.

There is a very important reason that in the Original Post (OP) I wrote, "in this human form, time, energy, money, and resources are very limited".

An important premise in my reasoning is to consider the significant opportunity cost in taking anyone's advice, since you have to say no to almost all advice. There's millions of people offering advice about any one thing, but you can only afford to take advice from a very few at most. For instance, you can only test out a handful of different diet and exercise plans throughout a human life. Thus, when it comes to the reliability of a potential advisor or piece of advice, even very good isn't good enough. To have the best chance of success, you need the best of the best.

It's not that poor people necessarily always give bad financial advice, but rather that all else the same the financial advice from someone who is financially successful is at least slightly better, namely in terms of being slightly more reliable since it has that extra qualification of having been tested and shown to work by the one giving that advice. You cannot afford to take advice that is merely not bad. To have the best chance of success, you need to find the advice that is most reliable and that's the best of the best.

If you are looking for weight loss advice that actually works for you to lose weight and keep it off, it's not the case that morbidly obese people necessarily give bad weight loss advice, but rather that all else the same the weight loss advice from someone who has successfully lost the weight and kept it off is at least slightly better and/or more reliable since it also has the extra qualification of having been tested and proven to work by the one giving the advice.

My advice: Don't pass up the exceptionally great for the merely good.

Don't take advice just because it's merely not the worst. Don't take advice just because it's merely not bad.

The advice of a poor unsuccessful unhappy people might be very valuable, reliable, and good. I say still don't take it! It's still not the most reliable and the most valuable.

To have the best chance of success, you need to take the advice that is the absolute very best. Very good is not good enough. Valuable is not good enough. Very valuable is not good enough. Reliable is not good enough. Very reliable is not good enough.

Thus, my advice is never ever take advice from unhappy people.

When looking to choose an advisor on something, make it a deal-breaker for a candidate to not be consistently happy, as well as very successful in the specific field in which you are looking for advice. If you are looking for weight loss advice, make it a deal-breaker if the person wanting to be your advisor is themselves obese. If you are looking for financial advice, make it an absolutely deal-breaker if the person wanting to be your advisor is poor.

Only take the best and most reliable advice. In terms of what will lead you to be happy, the most reliable advice never comes from unhappy people.


Thank you,
Scott
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Sophia_D_Ajayi
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Sophia_D_Ajayi »

The only advise y happy people can give you is how you be a sadist and how to be selfish. I don't even bothered making friends with people that are too cynical or self absorbed. If you check properly, egocentric people are unhappy people also.
Davy Ifedigbo
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Davy Ifedigbo »

I thoroughly grasp the meaning behind disregarding counsel from individuals who are discontented. As they lack the knowledge to offer guidance on attaining or sustaining joy. The perpetual state of bliss through spiritual liberation is a concept that not everyone can genuinely fathom or embrace. In essence, one has the autonomy to opt for happiness; it is a personal choice.
Anil G
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Anil G »

I agree! Also, the point of doing just as opposite of the advice is actually turns out to be given the same amount of energy to it. It's rare to feel the same way the other person is feeling, we can understand each other but not feel the same happiness or pain. As a result, when someone is unhappy what they will say might not be suited to the other person who is truly happy.

I think, we should not advice or suggest someone to do something in a particular manner unless and until it is necessary to suggest or asked by the person. Let all live happily as they want to.
SEEK FREEDOM!
Bright U
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Re: Don't take any advice from unhappy people.

Post by Bright U »

If unhappy people knew so much about how to live better lives, they should apply the principles to their own lives and change the general mood of their lives. I agree with the statement in this subject.
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