Let go of the illusion that it could have been any different.

[Sugar Rush]

I think the past can be changed if we replay it or have a chance to. There are so many choices I could have made differently if I had the chance and opportunity which I do not have. Instead of saying it is an illusion that things could have been different, I would rather hold on to the reality that it could be different but we don't have the power to change any of it.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

This is a discussion forum topic for the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


I don't know who needs to hear this, but...

Let go of the illusion that it could have been any different.

We could rewind and replay the past a million times. It would happen the exact same way every single time.

Accept the past, and find peace by letting go of this illusion.

I agree to a degree. Focusing on the past makes it different to move forward and focus on the present and the future. That said there is something to be learned from our past mistakes to stop them happening again.

I agree.

The one change I would often make to the wording if I said the same idea would be to change the word 'mistakes' to the word 'actions'.

If you didn't know better, then I typically wouldn't call it a mistake. If you did know better, then you wouldn't have done it.

Indeed, as I often say about everyone and everything, if they knew better, they would do better.

It's not wrong to word it the way you did. Nonetheless, there's a stricter and less vague way to use the words, which then allows us to say truthfully with confidence that there are no true mistakes. In that sense of the words, there are learning experiences, but not mistakes. In that sense of the words, to say we practice unconditional forgiveness becomes an understatement because there is never anything to forgive.

For me, saying, "that was a learning experience" allows my inner peace to flourish more easily than saying, "that was a mistake". I don't run the risk of failing to practice unconditional forgiveness because, from that view, there isn't even anything to forgive.

[Hazel Mae Bagarinao]

Accept the past, and find peace by letting go of this illusion.

Absolutely needed! Holding the past that I can never change will just ruin my present moment. The only thing is to accept it and do things that the bad history will never happen again. It's doing the things that I can, that improve me. The illusion of the past is no longer needed.

[Chiwelite Obioma Mgbeoji]

This is a great way to look at life. I for one I'm someone who always feels like they could have changed something. They could have done something different if they were given the chance to. But maybe if I started seeing it from this angle that even if we replayed the past a million times it probably would be the same. Perhaps that would help!

[Masedi Mabilu]

It is easy to cling to the past and entertain the alternative actions that could have been taken but this is truly just an illusion that does not help in any way. What happened in the past should serve as lessons to help us deal with the present.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I think the past can be changed if we replay it or have a chance to. There are so many choices I could have made differently if I had the chance and opportunity which I do not have.

You couldn't make the choices differently because even if time could be suddenly rewinded and restarted from some point in the past such that everything played out again, it would play out exactly the same, and you would make the same exact same choices.


(Incidentally, the above example also helps illustrate the fact that time is unreal. In reality, to rewind 'time' or re-play 'time' is to do nothing and change nothing.)

[Kendal Low]

In my opinion, regret is the most useless emotion. While sometimes it can teach you how you want to do things differently the next time, it can also waste so much of your time. That's not to say I don't regret anything, obviously everyone does, but I think it so much more productive to move forward from the thing you regret and try to live better because of it. A lot easier said than done though. I really like the idea of this topic!

[Zainab Wasif]

I agree with the statement that things could have been done differently is just an illusion. But at the same time, it is human nature that if things do not turn out as we expect, many ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ arise. A person is in the denial phase when he thinks that things could have been done differently to have different outcomes. On the other hand, when the outcome is favorable and as per our expectations, there is no such illusion. The wisdom to accept things, favorable or unfavorable, in the first instance comes to those who reflect and contemplate and are truly self-aware.

[Vivian Stones]

I think that this singular statement is and will be beneficial to individuals struggling to let go. People tend to dwell in their past, wondering how things would have been if certain things had not happened and this prevents them from moving forward in life. We need to learn to accept that what has happened has happened and find a way forward in life.

[Chinemezu Okafor]

I think this is a powerful philosophy. I have always wondered if I could change the past. Wondered If I could change some of the decisions I made. What we should learn to do is how to let go of the past. Don't let the past haunt you. No matter what you do, the past is done, and there is nothing we can do to change it.

[Covenant Olusegun]

Thank you, Scott, for this message. Truly,  it's not easy to let go of the thought that it could be different, but yes, I'll think about the ways my past mistakes could have been avoided and I'll learn from them; I'll ensure I don't beat myself up.

[sam_rahman12]

Yes and yes. You can spend your entire life thinking about what ifs and never live for a moment. Or you can let go of this illusion and live with content. There is no changing the past, there is only moving on to a happy future.

[Bright U]

I believe things could have turned out differently if we could take the knowledge we have now into the past but that's practically impossible, so yeah, we should just learn to be at peace with our current situation and do better going forward.

[Anil G]

Yeah, No matter how many times we will rewind it and imagine the different inputs of ours that might result in a different output, it'll be the same in reality. It's not easy to control or stop this thing but trying to do is a better start to letting it go.

[Sonia Gonzalez]

We have all wondered what if...

We have all been stuck in the past.

But life is only happening to those that accept that we cannot change the past, we need to embrace it and move on, learn from it, and get stronger.