We see what we want to see, meaning what we choose to see.

[Salah bourouba]

Definitely. This quotes falled best on angry people. Because they tend to see or believe only what they think is true. And don't leave the chance for people to explain the actual truth.

There are blessings even in the smallest things. Like bees the blessing the provide for us with honey is unimaginable. So all y. Have to do is recognize those blessings and be grateful for them.

[Masedi Mabilu]

I think the fact that we see what we want to see does not necessarily mean we always see things differently from the way others see them. Sometimes we can see something the same way because we are looking from the same mindset.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

Sometimes we see things not because that is what we want to see. For instance, I may be having a very good day only to discover that someone damaged my laptop, of course I would get offended, not because I wanted to be offended or set about seeking for what should offend me but because that is enough to get one offended don't you think?

Hi, Sugar Rush,

Thank you for your reply!

Can you explain a bit more what you mean by the word 'offended' as you use it above? How would you define the word offended?

As human beings, there are some feelings we will each regularly and unavoidably feel over and over again throughout our lives, such as pain, hunger, discomfort, fear, and anger. Are you talking about one of those?

Due to sensory adaptation, you will feel such feelings (e.g. discomfort and comfort) with about the same frequency regardless of what happens in the outer world. I mention this in the book with a fun example of someone with gold toilet paper still getting sad and still crying and wanting more wealth and such.

Choosing to resent the unavoidable feelings and/or engage in expectation and blame is where the choice might come in and where it can be revealed as an aspect of projection (i.e. seeing what you choose to see).

Do you feel pain or frustration because your laptop broke, or would you inevitably feel pain, hunger, discomfort, and frustration regardless of what happens simply because you are human and such feelings are unavoidable for humans? Is the laptop breaking to blame, or is that a projection? Did you have an expectation that the laptop not break and/or that you would not feel offended? If so, I invite to also read and reply to my topic about letting go of expectation and blame.

Anything that disappears from view or looks different once you choose to let go of expectation and blame is then therefore revealed as something that was a matter of projection all along.

I hope this helps.


Thank you,
Scott

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I don't choose to see the world as it is today. I am a teacher and there has been a steady decline in student behavior, as well as respect from the parents. This has caused teacher burnout and the quality of education to go down. Also, we see wars, murders, rapes, the killing of innocent babies, etc. every day. I would like to think that no one chooses to see that. I know I don't, but it's our reality.

Hi, beckybelvin

Thank you for your reply!

I don't doubt that it is your reality. But how sure are you that it is our reality? 90%? 95%? 99%? 99.9%? 100%?

A few years ago, I read the book The Moral Arc: How Science Makes Us Better People by Michael Shermer. I didn't agree with much of the philosophy in the book, but the historical facts and statistics were very enlightening. The topic is much broader than kids' behavior in schools, but I still think the mathematical statistical well-researched facts he presented contradict your anecdotal view that things are getting worse by such measures. I recommend you read it. Even if, like me, you don't agree with much of it, I think it will give you a new perspective on many things, just like it did for me. I learn more by reading things with which I disagree than agree. If I'm the choir, there isn't much value to me in listening to a preacher preach to me (the choir).

Do you think the average school-age child in your district is more violent than they were 25 years ago or 50 years ago or 100 years ago? Surely, there are actual measurable statistics that can be checked. We don't just need to rely on a gut feeling or personal anecdotal experience.

What about racist and sexist? Are kids more or less racist and/or sexist than they were 50 years ago?

Were kids better behaved when schools were racially segregated and women could only go to women's colleges? That's not a rhetorical question. What do you think? What about when they first got unsegregated; were kids better behaved in the freshly desegregated schools than they are now?

When did the downturn that you believe exists first start and how long has it been going on?

My son is learning math that didn't even exist for much of human history. Einstein didn't prove Newton wrong until only about 100 years ago, for example, and Newton invented Calculus which itself isn't that old.

When I went to visit my daughter's kindergarten class while she was in kindergarten, I was utterly shocked at how incredibly well those little kids could read whole books. I didn't remember learning to read that level until I was in 2nd or 3rd grade myself, and I read at above grade level, at least for what was considered grade level at my time.

Is it possible that some of what's contributing to your perception as a teacher of a downturn is actually the result of the opposite: That, rather than parents and kids performing worse in relation to some steady bar, instead the bar itself has been drastically and steadily raised, making things seem worse in comparison and thereby putting more pressure and weight on the shoulders of students, parents, and (perhaps most of all) teachers like you?

We only did half-day kindergarten when I was in kindergarten, but my kids did full-day kindergarten.



Thank you,
Scott

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

While we do see what we want to see, it is also true that we are trained by the people around us to see things in a particular light. The more time you spend with someone negative, the more inclined you will be to allow thoughts that focus on the negative aspects of life. If, from youth, you observed your mom and dad constantly comparing where they are in life to others and concentrating on all the things they lack. Often you will find that you have developed some of these traits yourself.

That is so true, and you are wise to point it out!

As people often say, misery loves company.

Smiles and frowns are both contagious.

Then, you have to be willing to analyze yourself, your mindset, and your perceptions of life, then decide whether or not you like yourself. Then it takes time and effort. You have to be vigilant and watch the thoughts that enter your mind.

My grandmother always had this habit; when she would find herself saying things aloud or having unkind thoughts, she would raise her right hand in the air and say, "Cancel. Cancel. Cancel." This method worked because it was a constant reminder to watch her thoughts. Whenever she allowed an unkind or self-deprecating thought, it was a verbal reminder to cancel the energy and the associated habit.

That's a helpful tip!

[Kendal Low]

I completely agree with this way of thinking. It's like when you're thinking about, for example, yellow cars; you will notice all of the yellow cars around you. Whatever you are subconsciously looking for you will find.

[Chinemezu Okafor]

This is actually very true. If we are angry, we see reasons to be angry, and if we are happy, we see reasons to be happy. This is the way the human mind operates. This is actually helpful because there was this time I was very happy, and something uneventful happened that day; I refused to be sad or angry; instead, I looked for reasons to be happy because I was happy.

[Covenant Olusegun]

I agree with you, but there's a place of peace and inner settling too if we do something wrong and choose to see that it has something right. Let us see wrong as wrong and right as right, and let us be true and honest to our feelings as much as we want to see the world as beautiful as possible. 

[lec_nemanja]

We see what we want to see in accordance with our habits, interests, and current situation. If we're late for work, all we'll see are traffic lights, traffic, the speed limit, and time ticking away. If we are in the park and have time, we will see other things: the beauty of nature, parents with children, and dogs running around.

[lec_nemanja]

I completely agree, we should be grateful always and everywhere for everything. I believe that this is a way to become more humble and satisfied with ourselves.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

We see what we want to see in accordance with our habits, interests, and current situation. If we're late for work, all we'll see are traffic lights, traffic, the speed limit, and time ticking away. If we are in the park and have time, we will see other things: the beauty of nature, parents with children, and dogs running around.

Those are great wise examples!

[Zainab Wasif]

We see what we want to see. It is based on our perspective as well as our current state of mind. While most of us would be quick to judge things based on our current state of mind, some others would weigh it based on their experience and understanding. It is often said that, “Don’t make any promises when you are happy and don’t make a decision when you are sad”. Yet, there are people who would not let their present state of mind cloud their behaviour or judgement.

[Nisha DSouza]

I completely agree with this and wholeheartedly believe it too. If we choose to see the blessings in our life, we are blessed more. Likewise, the more we curse our fate for things that didn't go our way, we are bound to attract more of an unpleasant fate.

[Catalina Isabel]

I do agree with this quote. I think we often see what we are currently thinking of, and our state of mind alters this. For example; when you're pregnant, you see lots more pregnant people around. When you're in love, you can't stop thinking of that person, and you suddenly notice more people who are also in love.
When we are in a good state of mind I think we are more able to accept things as they truly are. When we are rushed, upset or feel other negative emotions it can blind us.

[sam_rahman12]

This is so true. If we look for positives, we see positives. If we keep on finding negatives, it is because we want to see the negatives. Your entire perspective depends on this small and undeniable phenomena. The more ways we find to think and live happily and positively, the better our lives are going to turn out.