Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Philosophy Club

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

This is a discussion forum topic for the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


Some people look at unchangeable aspects of reality--and by extension eternal reality as a singular timeless whole--and think it "ought" to be or "should" be different than it unchangeably is.

As someone who gets to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace of thinking no such thing, I deeply and lovingly pity them, meaning I sympathize with them.

Two very noteworthy things happen when one refuses to fully and unconditionally accept the proverbial cards they have been dealt (i.e. that which they cannot change):

1) They play the cards less effectively than someone who is dealt the same cards but does not waste their very limited time, energy, and resources complaining about or resenting that which they cannot control (i.e. that which cannot change). The person who puts all of their time, energy, and resources into playing their proverbial cards thereby plays more skillfully and competently than the one who wastes some of that very limited time, energy, or resources uselessly complaining that the cards "should" be different or "ought" to be different or otherwise resenting the unchangeable cards for being the way they are. All else the same, the accepter will beat the energy-wasting resenter in a game of cards.

2) They see ugliness or badness where the one who accepts what they cannot change doesn't, which is an unpleasant feeling for the one who sees that made-up badness. Where we see beauty and only lovable goodness, they see ugliness or badness. The ugly badness they see is a made-up superstition--that somehow the proverbial unchangeable cards "ought" to be different--but a nightmare is no less unpleasant just because it is a hallucination, especially when the one seeing it genuinely believes the made-up imaginary horror they are seeing.


I deeply and lovingly pity them because they don't get to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace (a.k.a. "true happiness" or "nirvana") of letting go of all resentment and unforgiveness. I deeply and lovingly pity them because they don't get to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace (a.k.a. "true happiness" or "nirvana") of letting go of the superstition of shoulds and oughts, and have to look around at the world and to suffer through seeing things that 'ought' to be, and have to suffer through living in a reality that they think "ought" to be what it cannot be. They do not get to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace of looking around anywhere and everywhere and seeing nothing unacceptable.

I have wonderful consistent inner peace because I look at reality and see nothing worth resenting or hating. I see only lovable beauty everywhere. When I look around at reality, no matter where or when I look, I never am plagued by the thought that unchangeable reality is not good enough and "ought" to be different or "should" be different. I deeply pity and sympathize with those humans that do not get to see the world in the heavenly wonderful light I get to see it in every single day, but who instead look at it with exhausting negative judgementalism, thinking unchangeable reality "ought" not be the way it is.

Of course, needless to say, please don't think this means that I think they 'should' see it differently or that they "ought not" be seeing it the way they do. That would be a misunderstanding. We all tend to often project our own views onto others. When we read between the lines, we think we are mind-reading or just understanding the implications other person, but usually we are just creating a mirror out of the canvas that is the blank space between lines. Thus, a judgemental moralizer might read my words with a tone of judgemental moralizing, and read between the lines to falsely think that I am saying certain people aren't the way they "should" be or are doing something "ought" or are "naughty" or "evil" or such, even though I would never sincerely such a thing. Rather, I love the moralizing judgemental non-accepters too. In other words, obviously, I don't think moralizing judgementalism is immoral (or moral) because to do so would be to engage in it. My real tone is the same as my actual feelings, which is one of utter and total unconditional love.

Because I practice unconditional love, I love haters too. I unconditionally forgive non-forgivers. I do not resent resenters. I am grateful even for the ungrateful.

I lovingly pity them, meaning sympathize with them. I loving pity those who lack the consistent wonderful inner peace (a.k.a. "true happiness" or "nirvana") that I get to enjoy. It's like watching a beloved sleeping child have a nightmare but being unable to wake the child or stop the nightmare. All I can do is love and sympathize, which I do, and make myself open and unavailable to them if and when they awaken.

There is an important sense in which we each see what we want to see, meaning what we choose to see.

I pity the moralizers and resenters due to how they choose resentment of unchangeable reality over inner peace. I sympathize that they suffer the resentment they choose over inner peace. But I respect that it is their choice. I can emotionally sympathize with the pain a masochist feels while at another more conceptual level respecting and understanding that in at least some ways they are simply getting what they want, meaning what they choose, even if is a choice is to live a hellish resentment-ridden nightmare instead of having consistent heavenly inner peace marked by total spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) and full unconditional acceptance of that which one cannot control (i.e. what one cannot change).

Freedom also means respecting each other person's equal freedom and self-determination. In analogy, we can imagine a stereotypical drug addict chooses to do hard drugs, and in repeatedly doing so seems to make themself miserable, a slave to their addiction, a prisoner of the comfort zone that for them is drugs and the cycle of addiction. Many times the best way to help them is to just give them space, cut ties, set and enforce our own healthy boundaries, and strictly avoid becoming an enabler. Regardless, we have to respect their choice to a degree, as their choices are their choices, not ours. And even they, like all, are still always worthy of unconditional love no matter what.



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The book is available for purchase from all major book retailers in both ebook and hardcover format.

View on Barnes and Noble | View on Amazon | View on Books-A-Million | View on Bookshelves

[Onyango Victor]

This is a discussion forum topic for the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


Some people look at unchangeable aspects of reality--and by extension eternal reality as a singular timeless whole--and think it "ought" to be or "should" be different than it unchangeably is.

As someone who gets to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace of thinking no such thing, I deeply and lovingly pity them, meaning I sympathize with them.

Two very noteworthy things happen when one refuses to fully and unconditionally accept the proverbial cards they have been dealt (i.e. that which they cannot change):

1) They play the cards less effectively than someone who is dealt the same cards but does not waste their very limited time, energy, and resources complaining about or resenting that which they cannot control (i.e. that which cannot change). The person who puts all of their time, energy, and resources into playing their proverbial cards thereby plays more skillfully and competently than the one who wastes some of that very limited time, energy, or resources uselessly complaining that the cards "should" be different or "ought" to be different or otherwise resenting the unchangeable cards for being the way they are. All else the same, the accepter will beat the energy-wasting resenter in a game of cards.

2) They see ugliness or badness where the one who accepts what they cannot change doesn't, which is an unpleasant feeling for the one who sees that made-up badness. Where we see beauty and only lovable goodness, they see ugliness or badness. The ugly badness they see is a made-up superstition--that somehow the proverbial unchangeable cards "ought" to be different--but a nightmare is no less unpleasant just because it is a hallucination, especially when the one seeing it genuinely believes the made-up imaginary horror they are seeing.


I deeply and lovingly pity them because they don't get to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace (a.k.a. "true happiness" or "nirvana") of letting go of all resentment and unforgiveness. I deeply and lovingly pity them because they don't get to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace (a.k.a. "true happiness" or "nirvana") of letting go of the superstition of shoulds and oughts, and have to look around at the world and to suffer through seeing things that 'ought' to be, and have to suffer through living in a reality that they think "ought" to be what it cannot be. They do not get to enjoy the wonderful consistent inner peace of looking around anywhere and everywhere and seeing nothing unacceptable.

I have wonderful consistent inner peace because I look at reality and see nothing worth resenting or hating. I see only lovable beauty everywhere. When I look around at reality, no matter where or when I look, I never am plagued by the thought that unchangeable reality is not good enough and "ought" to be different or "should" be different. I deeply pity and sympathize with those humans that do not get to see the world in the heavenly wonderful light I get to see it in every single day, but who instead look at it with exhausting negative judgementalism, thinking unchangeable reality "ought" not be the way it is.

Of course, needless to say, please don't think this means that I think they 'should' see it differently or that they "ought not" be seeing it the way they do. That would be a misunderstanding. We all tend to often project our own views onto others. When we read between the lines, we think we are mind-reading or just understanding the implications other person, but usually we are just creating a mirror out of the canvas that is the blank space between lines. Thus, a judgemental moralizer might read my words with a tone of judgemental moralizing, and read between the lines to falsely think that I am saying certain people aren't the way they "should" be or are doing something "ought" or are "naughty" or "evil" or such, even though I would never sincerely such a thing. Rather, I love the moralizing judgemental non-accepters too. In other words, obviously, I don't think moralizing judgementalism is immoral (or moral) because to do so would be to engage in it. My real tone is the same as my actual feelings, which is one of utter and total unconditional love.

Because I practice unconditional love, I love haters too. I unconditionally forgive non-forgivers. I do not resent resenters. I am grateful even for the ungrateful.

I lovingly pity them, meaning sympathize with them. I loving pity those who lack the consistent wonderful inner peace (a.k.a. "true happiness" or "nirvana") that I get to enjoy. It's like watching a beloved sleeping child have a nightmare but being unable to wake the child or stop the nightmare. All I can do is love and sympathize, which I do, and make myself open and unavailable to them if and when they awaken.

There is an important sense in which we each see what we want to see, meaning what we choose to see.

I pity the moralizers and resenters due to how they choose resentment of unchangeable reality over inner peace. I sympathize that they suffer the resentment they choose over inner peace. But I respect that it is their choice. I can emotionally sympathize with the pain a masochist feels while at another more conceptual level respecting and understanding that in at least some ways they are simply getting what they want, meaning what they choose, even if is a choice is to live a hellish resentment-ridden nightmare instead of having consistent heavenly inner peace marked by total spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) and full unconditional acceptance of that which one cannot control (i.e. what one cannot change).

Freedom also means respecting each other person's equal freedom and self-determination. In analogy, we can imagine a stereotypical drug addict chooses to do hard drugs, and in repeatedly doing so seems to make themself miserable, a slave to their addiction, a prisoner of the comfort zone that for them is drugs and the cycle of addiction. Many times the best way to help them is to just give them space, cut ties, set and enforce our own healthy boundaries, and strictly avoid becoming an enabler. Regardless, we have to respect their choice to a degree, as their choices are their choices, not ours. And even they, like all, are still always worthy of unconditional love no matter what.



---
The book is available for purchase from all major book retailers in both ebook and hardcover format.

View on Barnes and Noble | View on Amazon | View on Books-A-Million | View on Bookshelves

It's a perspective rooted in acceptance, recognizing the futility of wishing for a reality that cannot be altered. The balance lies in finding contentment within the framework of the unchangeable.

[Jay Lu]

I empathize with those who struggle to accept unchangeable aspects of reality and think things 'ought' to be different. This resistance often leads to ineffective handling of life’s challenges and seeing negativity where there could be neutrality or beauty. I find peace in accepting reality as it is, without feeling it should be different, and pity those burdened with the desire to change the unchangeable. However, I respect their freedom to view the world in their own way, even if it differs from mine. My unconditional love extends to all, recognizing that each person's journey and choices are unique.

[Joseph Maroro]

While it's natural to desire change, finding peace in acceptance fosters resilience and a deeper connection with the present moment. It's a delicate balance between aspiring for improvement and appreciating the inherent beauty in the unchangeable facets of life.

[Ronald Aminga]

It emphasizes a mutual understanding that everyone has the right to make choices and live according to their own values, as long as it doesn't infringe upon the equal freedom of others. This principle is fundamental for fostering a society built on cooperation, tolerance, and the protection of individual rights.

[Sushan]

I agree. There is no gain or happiness when we expect the reality to be in a way that is favourable or desirable for us. Reality is reality, and we do not have a say in it. But thinking either that we have a say in it or expecting a different reality gives only frustration, because reality is the way it is, and that is it. How can we control something that is not within our power to control, and how useless to expect such a thing to be in a certain way! Need to shift our minds to accept the reality without resentment, and that is the path to inner peace.