Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here.

[Budding Author]

I'd like to ask you something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I'm not able to talk much around people. I'm not really a nerdy introvert type. I've got a lot of friends but still I struggle to make eye contacts and short conversations. I'm really great at convincing people with my conversation skills but when it comes to people my age or a bit older or younger than me. I struggle to converse with them. I'm going off to college next week. I can't help but overthink every possible aspect.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

Hi, Budding Author,

Thank you for your question!

I'd like to ask you something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I'm not able to talk much around people. I'm not really a nerdy introvert type. I've got a lot of friends but still I struggle to make eye contacts and short conversations. I'm really great at convincing people with my conversation skills but when it comes to people my age or a bit older or younger than me. I struggle to converse with them. I'm going off to college next week. I can't help but overthink every possible aspect.

May I ask if you have already read my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All?

If so, how many times have you read it?

I do recommend everyone read my book at least twice, for the reasons explained in this topic.

I ask the above question because they will help me interpret what you mean when you say you are "not able" to do something.

People who haven't read my book and/or who don't follow the advice in my book tend to use phrases like "not able" and "cannot" differently than I and those who have read book use those kind of phrases.

For example, you will hear me (and those who follow my teachings) say things like, "I cannot change what has happened in my past," or, "I am not able to squat 3,000 pounds in the gym," or "I, as a human, am not able to breathe in outer space without special equipment."

But you will not hear us say, "I cannot stop drinking alcohol," "I cannot lose weight," or, "I am not able to stay faithful to my spouse. I must cheat on them by having an affair."

Those latter things are kinds of things most humans will say. That is how most people use phrases like "not able" or "cannot". But that is not how I use them, and likewise is not how those who follow the teachings of my book use them.

So to correctly interpret and understand what you mean by those phrase, and by extension, your question, I would first need to know if you have read my book twice and are following its teachings or not.

In other words, I would first need to know whether you are using those phrases as most people use them or using them in the much rarer and stricter and more inner-peace-allowing way that I use them.

There's way too much in the book about that subject to quote it all here or summarize it here, so instead I provide this small one quote from the book as merely an example of how the book talks about this subject:

The egoic voice in your head pretending to be you will lie. It may say:

“It was a hard day, so I need to eat for comfort.”

“I must eat.”

“I need a drink of whiskey.”

“I want to not gamble, but I have to go to the casino one last time.”

“I can’t quit until I’m ahead.”

“I need to win the money I lost before I can stop.”

“I need one last fix before I go to rehab.”

“I need a spouse because I cannot be happy living alone.”

“I have to do something.”

“They need to be punished.”

“I have to teach them a lesson.”

“The world sucks; I need to fix it.”

“I can’t be happy with inner peace until the world is fixed!”

“I need to do something! What should I do? OMG, what do I do?!”

An imaginary roadblock can be as effective as a real one.

With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

"An imaginary roadblock can be as effective as a real one."
- Eckhart Aurelius Hughes, from the book In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All

[Hyfr Zack]

I don't know how to combine my school activities with work. I'm really having a hard time with this issue.

[Budding Author]

I haven't read it yet. I'm currently reading a book for review. Once I'm done with that, then I am going to read the book "In It Together"

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I don't know how to combine my school activities with work. I'm really having a hard time with this issue.

Can you re-phrase this a question? Or, even better, a series of a few different questions? That will help me better understand what exactly and specifically you are asking me.

Can also explain a bit what you mean by the word 'combine' in that context?

Typically, most people wouldn't want to combine their schoolwork and their paying job, but rather would want to separate them. For instance, typically you wouldn't want to answer work emails while in the middle of school lecture, nor do homework for school while on the clock for your job.

[Amanda Brouillette Gladden]

Hello Scot,

I've read your book and found so many helpful things but I have a question, or two. How do you handle when life gets in your way? Kids move back in, struggles at work, motivation, unexpected charges (both good and bad have a butterfly effect), and did I mention motivation? I think every time life happens, I feel set back, even the good things. Financially I don't feel stable; I question my value at my workplace; I see changes in all of my relationships. I try to keep the toxic out and focus on positive but sometimes it just doesn't work the way we expect. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the toxic person but I'm not, it is the unanticipated struggles life.

Thank you for taking the time to read, even if you don't respond.

Respectfully,

Amanda

[Hy Be]

I have debt of $5000 accumulated due to student loan. I am deliberately looking to close as soon as possible. Another advice I am looking is on mental health. I just procrastinate to choose best among various opportunities.