My Three Principles for Happiness and Success (in that order!) | Be Happy and Achieve Incredible Success Guaranteed

Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

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My Three Principles for Happiness and Success (in that order!) | Be Happy and Achieve Incredible Success Guaranteed

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

If you haven't already, you can sign up to be personally mentored by Scott "Eckhart Aurelius" Hughes at this link.


My system for happiness and incredible success (which come in that order!) is based largely on three important principles, which my book explores in more detail:


1. You don't have to do anything. In other words, there is nothing you must do.


2. Generally, in almost all cases, you can get and have whatever you want. In other words, you can be successful. That is, in terms of whatever success means for you. It's almost always simply a matter of choice. In other words, generally, in the long run, success is a choice. For example, if you weigh 400 lbs, and you want to lose 200 lbs, you can. If you are an alcoholic and you want to recover and stop drinking, you can. If you are home alone lonely and haven't had a romantic partner in months--or years--and you want to get one soon, you can. Or, if you are a sex addict and you want to recover and stop having sex and live the rest of your life as a born again virgin, you can. If you want to make a million dollars and become a millionaire, you can. If you want to become a bestselling author, you can. If you want to start and own your own successful restaurant, you can. If you want to get married, you can. If you want to get divorced, you can. If you want to climb a huge mountain, you can. If you want to sit at home and spend as much time as possible just quietly sitting on your porch drinking tea and staring up at the stars, you can.


3. To get what you want (i.e. to be successful in your goal), there are things you would (conditionally speaking) have to do. They are the price, and you choose whether or not to pay and thereby get what you want. Whether you call it a "need', a "must", or a "have to", or as I would recommend merely an "indirect want", these are the required means to the desired end, with the end being your goal or in other words what you want and can choose to obtain or achieve (or buy). #1 is still true, because you don't have to do the thing you would have to do to achieve a certain end. For example, to see a certain concert, you might have to buy tickets. But that's only conditional. You don't have to buy tickets, but then you can't see the concert. You can't really understand #3 until you understand #1 and #2, because #3 represents the interesting interplay between #1 and #2: There is nothing you must do, and you can get what you want; but, to get you want, there are certain things you would have to do, but you don't have to do them, but then you won't get what you want.


Many people make the conceptual mistake of thinking of needs as somehow more important than wants, but the exact opposite is actually the case. In reality, needs only have meaning in relation to wants, and in that way the needs are merely emergent relativistic figments of imagination. It's the want (a.k.a. choice) that is the primary thing that is actually important, and the need is merely the means that you would be required to do to get the want. The so-called "need" is actually just the price to get the alleged want. But you aren't actually required to get--or, more accurately, to choose to get--the would-be want or achieve the would-be goal, and thus you aren't actually required to do the conditional need. For instance, if you want to get into a certain concert, you might need tickets. A conditional need is just the price you pay for a want. It's really just an indirect want. For that reason, it's generally much more conducive to happiness to do your best to entirely let go of words like 'need', 'have to', and 'must' when talking about your own actions and choices. While it is technically true to say, "I need tickets to get into the concert, and I want to get into the concert", it's generally much more clear, accurate, and conducive to happiness (and thus also success) to reprogram your mind by rephrasing it as follows: "I want the tickets because I want to get into the concert," or I want the tickets so that I can get into the concert, which is what I want." Notice the preceding two example sentences do not contain any words like 'must', 'need to', or 'have to', let alone even more dangerous, words like 'should', 'ought', or 'try'.

Reprogramming your mind with such clear and precise phasing helps avoid the very dangerous pitfall of falsely seeing the conditional wants (or so-called 'needs') as being more important than the ultimate wants/goals/ends on which they are conditional.

This also makes it much easier to understand and see the difference between being a spiritual slave versus being free-spirited (a.k.a. self-disciplined).

Spiritual slaves either don't understand #1, or don't recognize the truth of #1, or forget #1, or become in dishonest denial of #1.

That is why I wrote in page 120 of my book, "Spiritual imprisonment or spiritual slavery is a self-fulfilling illusion." It's a miserable illusion. Happiness--meaning true consistent happiness and invincible inner peace--comes simply from choosing to be honest with oneself and thereby see the simple truth. There is nothing you must do, and, when it comes to your choices, you always get exactly what you want, meaning what you choose.

I am happy even when I run sweating and panting in terrible discomfort on a treadmill because I know it is what I want to being do, and as soon as I don't want to be doing it, I hit stop. If I take a literal bullet for my kids, I'll be happy when I do it, which is why I choose to do it. Indeed I make many sacrificed for my children, but I never sacrifice my happiness for them. As I write in the book: True love isn't sacrificing your happiness; true love is being happy to sacrifice. That's as true for when you are lovingly sacrificing for a literal biological child as it is for when you are lovingly sacrificing for your future self (i.e. the older version of the human you see in the mirror). When it's chosen for true love, extreme discomfort, pain, and fear might be most delicious and wonderful thing in the world.

Happiness comes not from what you do, per se, but rather from being honest with yourself about why you do it.

Misery--meaning unhappiness--comes from either (1) treating something that's isn't your choice as if it were (i.e. not accepting what you cannot control) or (2) treating something that is your choice as if it wasn't (i.e. forgetting or denying the absolute truth of the fact that there is nothing you must do). There are no shoulds; there are no oughts; there are no musts; there are no needs; and there is no try. There is just what is and what will be, which includes what you choose. And, when it comes to your choices, you always get exactly what you want.

Happiness isn't about whether you sit at home binge eating 4,000 calories of pizza and ice cream in a single night or not, or go to the gym and workout hard for two hours straight while fasting or not. Both of the people who do those two different things can be happy, and both can be unhappy. Both can be free-spirited people who are happily doing what they want and happily getting what they choose, and both can be suffering under the self-fulfilling miserable illusion of spiritual slavery, feeling like a prisoner in their own body and a prisoner to the comfort zone, in a futile attempt to self-medicate their misery with comfort, while suffering under the endless illusion of all sorts of imaginary shoulds and musts. "If I can't be happy, truly happy," they might say, "then I might as well just have what little comfort I can as a half-assed relief against in this miserable inescapable prison called my life."

It can seem counterintuitive but there is comfort in lying to oneself about what one can do or imagining musts. An alcoholic can find comfort not only in the alcohol but in repeatedly telling themself the lie and convincing themself of the lie that they have to drink and they cannot stop drinking.

"I had a rough day, so I need a drink."

"I would love to be sober and give up alcohol, but I cannot. It's just not possible. I have to drink."

"I want to stick to my diet, but I am stressed, so I need something tasty to eat. I have to comfort myself with food."

"I'm so lonely and horny, but I can't get a girlfriend. I have to stay at home and live like this, alone."

"I hate parties and love being home alone, but I must go to the party."

"My spouse is abusive, but I can't leave him. I have to stay."

"I don't want to hit you, but look what you made me do."


Happiness isn't about whether you choose to drink or not, in large part because it is different for different people. That's why restaurant menus have more than one item.

Being a gym rat that spends hours looking in the mirror is a peanut butter sandwich. Being a cigarette-smoking beer-drinking person with a Buddha belly and a jolly Santa Claus smile is a tuna sandwich. Give a tuna-lover a peanut butter sandwich, and they might throw up in disgust, or die from allergy. Give a peanut butter lover a tuna sandwich, and they might throw up in disgust. No matter what you've heard, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander; they can choose for themselves. That is the beauty of diversity. That is the beauty of freedom. That is the beauty of nature and the universe itself: so endlessly creative and diversity-loving, its forms endlessly dancing in the sea of timeless eternity.

It's not about whether you choose to hunt animals, run dog fights, or be an animal-rights-supporting vegetarian; who would I be to tell a lion to not get his teeth bloody eating scared antelope? It's about what you want, what you really want, and what you choose.

Likewise, happiness isn't about whether or not you choose to stay home alone night after night, seven nights a week, with no family, friends, or romantic partners visiting. Some people love that; some people don't. Happiness isn't about whether you sleep with a new different person every single night. Some people love that; some people don't.

Happiness comes from realizing you could have either of those things. It's your choice. You get what you really want, meaning what you choose. Even wild lofty dreams--like becoming a millionaire--are surprisingly obtainable, if it's what you really want. To call it easy is an understatement. Making a choice is infinitely easy.

Happiness is about honestly acknowledging that it's your choice, and being at accepting peace with that choice.

And nobody can take that away from you. Nobody can stop you from unconditionally accepting what you cannot control; nobody can stop you from taking 100% full accepting responsibility for what you can; and nobody can stop you from enjoying the wonderful constant consistent true happiness that comes instantly from choosing to do those two things, the kind of happiness you can choose to have right now.

That kind of true happiness--a.k.a. inner peace, or nirvana, or spiritual grace--is invincible.

And, from that kind of grace and happiness, comes incredible success. People will think you're magical. But, really, you're just spiritually free and happy.



With Love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes



---
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program, both for the free option and the paid option. If you follow the program but don't achieve your goal, you'll get your money back plus $100. For the free option, that means you will still get paid $100 if you don't achieve your goal using his free advice and free system.



Image
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
Melissa Jane
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Re: My Three Principles for Happiness and Success (in that order!) | Be Happy and Achieve Incredible Success Guarantee

Post by Melissa Jane »

I like how the third point clarifies the first one. "You don't have to do anything, however, to get what you want, there are things you have to do."

These are great principles. Coincidentally, my OnlineBookClub signature is,
Insofar as the word 'should' even has meaning, then we must say that the past is exactly as it should be, everything that happened should have happened, and everything that should happen will happen.


I still love the quote, and I'm always happy to see you refer to it in most of your posts.

In It Together hast been a great guide.
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Post by Surabhi Rani »

I loved reading the above words that if we wanted to sit at home and spend as much time as possible just quietly sitting on our porches drinking tea and staring up at the stars, we could. I agree with the thought that there is nothing we must do, and, when it comes to our choices, we always get exactly what we want, meaning what we choose. Also, the idea of being spiritually free and happy is appreciable to me.
Pauline Parnell
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Post by Pauline Parnell »

The first point is true if you are not going anywhere or doing anything. The second point is only true to an extent, meaning anyone can be successful but dont necessarily get whatever one want. The third point is basically true. One has to be a go-getter to achieve in life.
Sanju Lali
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Post by Sanju Lali »

The idea that one needs to pay if one decides to make a choice, looks interesting to me. On the same lines if we do not want to choose then we need not do anything.
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Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Melissa Jane wrote: June 15th, 2023, 4:11 pm I like how the third point clarifies the first one. "You don't have to do anything, however, to get what you want, there are things you have to do."

These are great principles. Coincidentally, my OnlineBookClub signature is,
Insofar as the word 'should' even has meaning, then we must say that the past is exactly as it should be, everything that happened should have happened, and everything that should happen will happen.


I still love the quote, and I'm always happy to see you refer to it in most of your posts.

In It Together hast been a great guide.
Yes, I have noticed that as your signature, and it's an honor! :mrgreen:

Other ways of expressing a similar sentiment would be things this:

Everything that must happen will happen, and everything that did happen must have happened.

Every that needed to happen did happen, and everything that did happen needed to happen.
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
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Re: My Three Principles for Happiness and Success (in that order!) | Be Happy and Achieve Incredible Success Guarantee

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Sanju Lali wrote: June 16th, 2023, 10:29 am The idea that one needs to pay if one decides to make a choice, looks interesting to me.
I'm glad! :)

I like to look at it as the price and thing being purchased as all being part of the same one choice.

If I buy a delicious $10 donuts for $10, me giving away the $10 and getting the donuts is all really one choice; it's together one of the infinite paths forward from I can choose to take or not.

It's easy to see it that way when one practices the principle of fully and unconditionally accepting what one cannot control. One who doesn't practice such acceptance will suffer from the illusion of paths that don't actually exist: "I want to change the past, they might say or think. "I want to make 2+2=4," they might say or think.

That imaginary illusion--e.g. dishonest denial--creates suffering in the same way it would create suffering to hallucinate a fictional person standing next to oneself saying mean things and then getting sad because of the mean things the imaginary person said.


Thank you,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
Anna_Hernandez
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Post by Anna_Hernandez »

'You don't have to do anything.'
I am still trying to integrate this idea into my reality. I have a hard time saying 'no' to people and end up getting burned out. To me this translates to: you are not obligated to meet anyone's expectations or comply with their demands if you don't want to. However, it also implies that you need to take action for yourself to escape situations where you feel pressured to do things you don't want to do, regardless of the context in your life, family, friends, work, etc.
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Post by Akangbe Opeyemi »

“Happiness is about honestly acknowledging that it's your choice, and being at accepting peace with that choice." I just can't take my mind off this sentence. People would just always find a way to force their choice on you. I understand that some people might want what's best for me but it sometimes feels like they forget my input in my life.
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Post by mrlefty0706 »

At age 70 am I too old to develop abs of steel like your abs Scott? Your three principles for happiness are an excellent path to follow.

Mrlefty0706
Liza Chulukhadze
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Post by Liza Chulukhadze »

I agree with the opinion that if you want to be successful then you can. Once you break down the steps it becomes fairly easy. I am at the stage of life when I have to make a very difficult choice, so that's one more thing to consider in the process.
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Post by Marissa Maniaci »

Anna_Hernandez wrote: June 16th, 2023, 7:49 pm 'You don't have to do anything.'
I am still trying to integrate this idea into my reality. I have a hard time saying 'no' to people and end up getting burned out. To me this translates to: you are not obligated to meet anyone's expectations or comply with their demands if you don't want to. However, it also implies that you need to take action for yourself to escape situations where you feel pressured to do things you don't want to do, regardless of the context in your life, family, friends, work, etc.
I also struggle with this! In my head, when something is asked of me or offered to me, I instantly view it as something I need to do or at least that I am expected to do, with consequences if I choose not to. I want to get to a place where my first instinct isn't to just accept but to first evaluate if it is what I want and/or if it is something that would bring me happiness or help me reach my definition of success. I love your point that we aren't obligated to meet anyone's expectations or comply with their demands, but I find that fearing their reaction is what holds me back from saying yes and people-pleasing.
Sanju Lali
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Post by Sanju Lali »

I surely believe the fact that everything that is about to happen will happen. This concept gives many answers about many questions about our lives.
Rupali Mishra
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Post by Rupali Mishra »

If you are not moving or performing any activity, the first statement is true. The second assertion is only partially accurate, i.e., anyone can succeed but not necessarily achieve their goals. The third statement is primarily true. To succeed in life, one must be determined.
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Post by Catherine Radford »

I agree with you - success is different for many people. What we base our lives on are all very individual.
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