Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

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Seetha E
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Seetha E »

Assertive reflects my communication style.
I remember myself being passive as a child and in late adolescence. The transition has been slow, with considerable coaxing from situations, family, and close friends. Sometimes I fall back into the passive zone. As an introvert, that seemed like the best option to simply let unimportant things be.
Reva Parker
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Reva Parker »

Thank you for all of your examples. I think when I was young I was more passive, but not more assertive since I'm become more comfortable in my skin.
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Sushan
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Sushan »

My communication style leans more towards being assertive. I believe in expressing my needs and thoughts clearly and respectfully, ensuring that there's no room for misunderstanding or unmet expectations. This approach not only fosters healthy interactions but also builds trust and mutual respect.

Given the option to suddenly and easily change my communication style, I would still choose to be assertive. This style aligns with my values of honesty, clarity, and respect in communication. It allows me to maintain my integrity while also considering the needs and boundaries of others.

If someone finds their current communication style differs from their preferred style, the barriers to change could be varied. These might include habits formed over time, fear of confrontation, lack of confidence, or simply not having the tools or knowledge to communicate differently. Recognizing these barriers is the first step towards change. With awareness, practice, and possibly seeking guidance or mentorship, one can gradually shift towards a more assertive communication style, which ultimately leads to more fulfilling and less conflicted interactions.
“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers”

– William James
Jenna Padayachee
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Jenna Padayachee »

Thank you for the great clarification on aggression,true assertiveness, and unassertive expectation.
This is a wonderful piece of information.

There was a phase of my life where I exercised communication style 3. Unaggressive and unassertive.
This was a reflection of my inner-state at the time, I had confidence issues and lacked self-love and there were things in my reality I did my best to escape. Ironically, this brought me more troubles :roll:
These troubles were eye-opening.

I began to sway to communication style 2. Aggressively unassertive. I just had momentary expressions of this communicative style believing I was constructively assertive. This worked in eliminating some situations for me and aggravating other situations.

However life showered me with some dry humor and once again,

I had to reflect on myself and I began to build on 1.Non-aggressive Assertiveness.
I have made great strides (sometimes painful strides but with liberation) this is still a work in progress though and this guiding piece you have written, is something I will use forward with much reference.
Thank you :!: :D :idea:
Lorna Philip Enslin
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Lorna Philip Enslin »

I fall under the first category (A) but can be less assertive and more passive if I'm in a group of loud people. I was reminded years ago by a friend of my husband’s that I really should be less aggressive in my speech (I’m a Scot and often sound more confident than I feel) I was shocked and those words are still in my head till this day. Occasionally when I need to put my point across, his words are there to remind me that I should be less aggressive which can have the effect of making me more passive than I should be. .

Everything you say makes perfect sense, Thank you Scott.
Moisés Alcántara Ayre
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Moisés Alcántara Ayre »

Thank you for this, Scott.

Have you ever considered that what has worked for you may not work for others? I'm saying this because as I read the suggestions, which make a lot of sense, I believe change is going to happen if we first truly understand a person's values and set of beliefs; otherwise, change may only be superficial and short-lived. Any thoughts on this?
Ukaegbu Confidence
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Ukaegbu Confidence »

I'm glad my both answers match. Being assertive in speech, I have noticed I'm barely misinterpreted since I often say exactly what I mean.
mrlefty0706
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by mrlefty0706 »

I believe I am assertive and non-aggressive. Some people think being assertive is not a good way to function or assertiveness is for people that want to move up the corporate ladder quicker than other people. A team of assertive people will accomplish their goals while aggressive people will create conflict and may never achieve their goals. @Mrlefty0706
Mary Clarkee
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Mary Clarkee »

Confident people make their decisions known clearly. My way of speaking is assertive, which means I express myself confidently without being aggressive. This approach helps me reach my goals effectively. I aim to align my words, thoughts, and actions. This harmony is essential for achieving my life's main goal: spiritual fulfillment.
Donaldo cris
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Donaldo cris »

Your post is really thought-provoking. In terms of your questions, I've been taught that being assertive without being aggressive is key, and I believe it's the best way to communicate. It's important to express yourself clearly and politely rather than being rude or expecting others to understand without clear communication.
Ejoh Ebube
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Ejoh Ebube »

The analogy between relationships with others in space and others in time, as portrayed in the book, offers a profound perspective on self-cooperation and self-responsibility across different dimensions of existence.
Ejoh Ebube
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Ejoh Ebube »

The delineation between assertive and unassertive communication styles, coupled with insightful examples, highlights the transformative power of assertiveness in fostering healthier interactions and personal empowerment.
Ejoh Ebube
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Ejoh Ebube »

By dissecting various scenarios of communication and response, the author skillfully demonstrates the nuanced dynamics between assertiveness, unassertiveness, and aggression, offering valuable insights into fostering genuine self-expression and inner peace.
Risper Ouma Lisa Anyango
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Risper Ouma Lisa Anyango »

I am an assertive person and I've always been and I wouldn't want to change this because I love my personality. Being kind and straight forward is way better because you will avoid lots of drama this way.
Stephen Christopher 1
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Re: Aggression vs. True Assertiveness | No means no, yes means yes, and everything else generally means nothing.

Post by Stephen Christopher 1 »

This is a timely post for me. I'm looking after my very sick mother, who is sometimes aggressive and almost always unassertive. An example of one of our recent conversations:

Mum: "I feel sick."
Me: "What kind of sick, tell me your symptoms."
Mum: "I don't have symptoms; I'm just sick now help me feel better."
Me: "I'd like to help, but I don't know what kind of sick you are."
Mum: "I just told you I'm sick, SICK, SICK! (raising her voice to yell at the end)

it's this expectation to read her mind and know how to help without being given all the information that makes it really tough. Reading this post has helped me to understand that's her communication style, and she has no plans to change it. As she's said before, 'That's just how I talk; get used to it.'
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