Page 189 | Question for the stressed and rushed: Do you rush because of stress, or do you stress because you're rushing?

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

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I notice some people will drive fast and angrily with lots of stress and sensitivity, as if ready to burst any second with violent murderous hateful road rage.

Some do it occasionally when they are running late for a doctor's appointment or a flight at the airport.

Others seem to do it every single time they drive. They are always in a huge anxious rush to get where they are going. Always. Every time.

Being around them or even just curiously watching them from a distance, it's as is if they are always running late. It's as if their whole life they are perpetually already running late for the next big important appointment. They are never at a big important appointment in which they soak in the present moment with presence, but rather are always running late for an appointment in the future. They are always worried--very worried--about some next moment in the future.

It's not just when people drive. It's not everyone, but I do see it everywhere from time to time.

Even in the shopping mall or in the park.

It's like watching a dog chase its own tail, except the dog isn't happy or playful about it, but miserable, and stressed, and anxious, and ungrateful.

Sometimes I'm surprised I haven't yet seen someone spontaneously combust while they are simply waiting in line at the grocery store. Some people are so anxiously rushed and so upset to even wait just a few minutes, I am surprised they don't just literally explode. Kaboom.

Some people are walking time bombs.

To those who might think the above describes them (which is unlikely if you are even reading this), I have a sincere question I ask with genuine curiosity:

Are you rushing because of stress, or are you stressed because you are rushing?


That's not rhetorical. I'm really asking.

What would happen if you slowed down? What would happen from this moment forward if you firmly chose to never rush again, come what may? I'm not saying do it or go that far with it; I'm just asking, hypothetically, what would happen? It's not my usual approach, but if you worry about and value the future so much more than the present, then let's look at it. What would that future be?


Here is the relevant quote from page 189 of my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All:

You only have this human body for a very little bit.

As a human, if you spend your whole life anxiously rushing around with loud rushing thoughts in your brain, you rush only to your inevitable death.

That is reason enough to slow down and smell the proverbial flowers.

The first tattoo I got is this: "Memento Mori". It's on my left forearm where I see and mediate on it every day.

It means, Remember you will die.


When I think of anxious rushing people shopping or traveling or such, stressfully doing their big important thing before the big important such-and-such happens in a such a bug hurry, I like to think most not of people in 2023 doing it, but instead to think of people doing it thousands of years ago in a place like Ancient Rome. The fact that they've already been dead for thousands of years makes it even more hilarious to me.


What do you think?


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

Image generated by AI. The prompt: "A person who is running late in traffic."

---
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program, both for the free option and the paid option. If you follow the program but don't achieve your goal, you'll get your money back plus $100. For the free option, that means you will still get paid $100 if you don't achieve your goal using his free advice and free system.

[Kajori Sheryl Paul]

This is indeed a very thought-provoking question. As you said, we live i this mortal world only for a short time. If we spend most of that time rushing and stressing, then what time do we have left to actually live?

[Akangbe Opeyemi]

It just happens unconsciously. When I am stressed I always want to rush things up, I just want it all to get done. I know you might just wonder why we don't just wait for few minutes but I sometimes just think what else I can get done if I could save more time from rushing up.
Recently, I have been trying to deliberately stop being stressed about minute things and take life more easy.

[Surabhi Rani]

It is a great paradox that we all have to die someday, but we get so engrossed in the mundane affairs of life that we tend to forget this fact. Also, the thought that death is certain is deeply spiritual, especially when it reflects in our moment-to-moment actions and conduct at a certain phase of our lives.

[Marissa Maniaci]

I think I stress because I am rushing. The work I put forward is incredibly important to me; this was true when I was a student and still holds true as an employee. As deadlines approach and I rush to make the final touches on an assignment or project, I find this stressful. It isn't even a matter of procrastination. I could have put a lot of effort into something and know that it is in excellent condition, but I still panic at the final countdown because it matters to me that I'm putting my absolute best work forward. So then I find myself scrambling to add additional detail, find more research, etc. Even when I'm done in plenty of time, I find myself working right up to a deadline so I don't feel like I wasted the time I was given or slacked off when I had more time to add value to my work. This last-minute rushing inevitably brings me stress, even if it isn't necessarily essential to the quality of my work.

[Zainab Wasif]

Rush and stress go hand in hand. I don’t know which one comes first and which one follows but they are always together in my case.

[Vincent Nyabwari]

Stress makes most people rush and even to an extent of doing unnecessary destruction because of doing whatever they did without thinking twice

[Samantha Green Tolson]

What if I told you that it is just how my mind works? It can be related to stress, both good and bad. I start rushing around when I get tired, excited, scared, and frustrated. Some days are better than others, but overall, I just can't seem to slow down. I have tried everything from medication to meditation and everything in between. I make choices every day to help counteract it, but the anxiety and the rushing are still there, they're just internalized.

What you call rushing around, some call ADHD or anxiety disorder. Some people are just wired this way. It is not a choice, it just is. Just like some of us are tall and some are short. The best we can do is just learn to live with it.

I turned it into a career. I used my rushing around to make really good money as a high volume bartender for over 16 years. Now, I use it to keep up with my overactive autistic 6 year old.

And to answer your question about what would happen if I stopped...I would probably feel like I was going to explode. It is actually painful for me to slow down; because even if I am sitting still, my mind is still going 90 miles an hour. There have been things in the past that have caused me to slow down (mainly injuries), and the entire time it was torture. Some of us just thrive in chaos.

Does this mean that I am not living in the moment? Or that I am not stopping to smell the roses? Absolutely not! I just do it at a faster pace than you do. One person's minute is another person's hour. You see rushing and stress, I see just the norm for me. I can't seem to stop doing it, so I have learned to embrace it.

That's why there is a fast and a slow lane. If you want to take your time, you can. If I want to hurry up and get there, I can! So, I apologize now if I run over you in the grocery store, but I have places to see, things to do, and people to meet!

And yes, sometimes I get so frustrated that I could explode, but then who doesn't? If you don't get frustrated and crazy sometimes, are you really living this life, or are you just sleeping through it?

[Pranav Dewangan]

It's a good question to contemplate. I stress more when I am being rushed to do something. In the corporate world, we have to rush to meet the deadlines set by our employers and that causes stress. I knew that was not a life worth living and left my job. Now I am a full-time freelance writer. I would sacrifice all the comforts of extra money to live in peace following my spirit of writing.

[Alissa Nesson]

I would say that stressing and rushing are a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself. When I’m late, I get stressed, and then I rush. Then while rushing I get more stressed, which makes me feel the urgent need to rush more. It’s important sometimes to slow down and try to experience life in a more peaceful, rewarding way. It can be hard when we’re anxious, but once you take a deep breath and slow down a little, your anxiety may lessen. To paraphrase a well-known quotation: “It’s not about getting through the storm; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

[Ruth Siriba]

Taking a step back to analyze whether the stress is a result of external pressures or internal expectations can guide you in developing effective coping strategies and time-management skills. Breaking the cycle involves addressing both the external factors that fuel the rush and internal stressors contributing to the sense of urgency.

[Eugine Ingalwa]

The two cases happen interchangeably for me. Sometimes I rush to do tasks just to finish. In this case, I do not concentrate on the details or consider professionalism, therefore the work ends up being of poor quality. In other cases, I procrastinate doing a task and I run out of time. In this case, I get stressed because of the rush.

[Nessa Vee]

That's an important question to think about. I feel more stressed when I have to hurry to finish something. In the business world, we often have to hurry to meet the deadlines set by our bosses, and that leads to stress.

[Neha Shakya]

If I were always running, I'd have a sense of urgency that consumed every moment, as if the next task was always more vital than the present. This could cause anxiety, weariness, and a loss of appreciation for the present moment. Slowing down may feel unpleasant or risky at first, but it can lead to greater serenity, better decision-making, and a deeper appreciation for life.

To answer the question, I feel stress and hurrying are mutually reinforcing, creating a cycle. If I slowed down, my stress levels could decrease, allowing me to live more calmly and intentionally.

[Tush4Christ]

I've lived in various cities, and my favorite by far is the peaceful one. The people there are often seen as slow or sluggish, as they don't rush or hustle for anything, which might make them seem lackadaisical about life. From an outsider's perspective, they might appear unambitious. However, the truth is they are very intelligent individuals who have chosen to take life at a relaxed pace, which aligns perfectly with their state's motto, "The State of Harmony."

When I moved to another city, I felt dizzy during my commutes because the people there are always in a hurry, pushing and shoving. They're incredibly ambitious and excel at their jobs, but unfortunately, they also frequently suffer from stress-related health issues, like heart attacks. In fact, statistics show that people in this city are more likely to die from heart attacks than those in other cities. I strongly believe that this is due to the constant rushing and high-pressure lifestyle.

While living in this city I was stressed because others around me were always rushing. They rush to work and rush back from work. I honestly could excuse rushing to work as you don't want to be late, but for the life of me up till this very moment I still can't fathom why anyone would rush from work back home. I mean you're going home and the home is not running away why are you still rushing?