Six Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'oughts')

Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

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Dera Ezeakolam
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Re: Six Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'ough

Post by Dera Ezeakolam »

6. Yes, I firmly practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which I cannot control. This approach aligns with the concept of radical acceptance, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and embracing situations beyond our control to foster peace of mind and reduce unnecessary struggle.
Baggett Yoria
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Re: Six Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'ough

Post by Baggett Yoria »

I believe that things happen in this life for a reason, and if we accept that there is no should-not-have-ness, we can easily have peace and move after a particular failure. However, there are something that should not happen but happen because someone intentionally decided it to happen with the aim of causing discomfort or harm to another fellow. The sufferer of the harm would not have want the evil launched at them to happen but it happen because someone intentionally decided it. In conclusion an example of something or someone that ought not to exist but exist is a person that intentionally do evil to another fellow for their selfish interest. Evil people ought not to exist because they are not burn evil but turned evil because of benefit they could have from doing so.
Raymonda Onwuka 1
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Re: Six Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'ough

Post by Raymonda Onwuka 1 »

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes wrote: October 13th, 2023, 2:10 am This is a discussion forum topic for the Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


As those who read my book already know, I don't believe in 'shoulds' and 'oughts'.

Accordingly, I don't believe anything happens that '"shouldn't" happen. I don't ever look at some aspect of unchangeable reality, and resentfully think, "It shouldn't be the way it unchangably is!"

In other words, I believe the would-be concept of 'should-ness' and 'should-not-ness' do not exist.

Thus, I don't believe there is anything you 'should' do. Likewise, I don't believe there is anything you 'should' not do.

For example, I neither believe you 'should' drink coffee tomorrow, nor do I believe you 'should' not drink coffee tomorrow.

The same is true of myself: I don't believe I 'should' drink coffee tomorrow; and I don't believe I 'should' not drink coffee tomorrow.

I have freedom of spirit (a.k.a. self-discipline) because I don't believe I'm bound or enslaved by any kind of 'shoulds' or 'oughts'--things I believe are imaginary phantoms. They are just superstitions, closely linked to judgementalism, especially moralizing self-righteous judgementalism. But an enslaving devil, nightmare, or phantom doesn't need to be real to enslave and torture you just the same. The inventive imagining mind can be a torturous master.

Instead, I believe in choice. When it comes to my choices, I always get exactly what I want, meaning what I choose. :)

Thus, you will never hear me (or anyone else who follows the teaching of my book) say something like "I shouldn't be eating this" while putting it in my mouth, whatever it is. No, we have spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline).

Likewise, as someone who practices the principle of fully and unconditionally accepting that which I cannot change, I absolutely don't look at things I cannot change and engage in resentful judgementalism by tossing around judgemental words like 'should' and 'ought', such as by saying things like, "That thing that happened in the past shouldn't have happened! I wish I could change the past. The past should be different than it is!", or "That thing I cannot change should not be the way it is!", or "The weather shouldn't be the way it is! It should be different!"

Most people who haven't read my book do believe in 'shoulds'. And even some people who have read my book still believe in them, thereby refusing to follow some of the 11 suggestions at the end of the book (namely Suggestion #4).

(Interestingly, most people who read my book agree with it all once they've read it, even though most don't agree with its conclusions before reading. In other words, my book is one of those special kinds of books that actually changes minds and changes lives and gives most readers a totally new perspective on life.)

For those of you who do still believe should-not-have-ness exists, I have some questions below I would love for you to answer. These aren't rhetorical questions. I am genuinely curious to know your answers. I love learning about different viewpoints and perspectives.


1. Can you give me some specific examples of something that happened that "shouldn't" have happened?

2. Can you give me some specific examples of a person or thing that "shouldn't" be the way it is?

3. Can you give me an example of something that "should" be happening right now (relative to you in your present in spacetime) but isn't?

4. In regard to those things or events that allegedly "shouldn't" be the way they were/are, are these things that are within your control (i.e. a matter of your choice)?

5. Are these things that you can change, or are they things that you cannot change?

6. Do you (like me) firmly practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which you cannot control (a.k.a. that which you cannot change)?


I look forward to your answers! :D


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott





no-shoulds.jpg



In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program, both for the free option and the paid option.
I Think question number four makes all the difference, there is no need saying things should be this way or that way if you cannot control it. When a suitation is out of your control, the only thing to do is to do you best, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst
Juanita Phelps
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Re: Six Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'ough

Post by Juanita Phelps »

1. Can you give me some specific examples of something that happened that "shouldn't" have happened?
I think I can give you some specific examples of “shouldn’t have happened.” I was very young and ran away from home to marry someone of whom my parents did not approve. I shouldn’t have done that. It wrecked my life for many years. He abused me. He shouldn’t have done that. He abused our children. He shouldn’t have done that. We were innocent victims of a narcissist.

2. Can you give me some specific examples of a person or thing that "shouldn't" be the way it is?
America shouldn’t have hungry, homeless children. This is a land of plenty. There is food thrown away daily by individual families, by grocery stores, by restaurants, and other commercial entities. US Veterans shouldn’t have to depend on charity handouts to get houses built for their families or to get physical therapy. Yet, they do.

3. Can you give me an example of something that "should" be happening right now (relative to you in your present in spacetime) but isn't?
Empty buildings that litter this entire country should be available for homeless people to at least escape the elements. I do not mean that they should squat in furnished homes. I am talking about mostly commercial buildings that are left to rack and ruin when tenants move on.

4. In regard to those things or events that allegedly "shouldn't" be the way they were/are, are these things that are within your control (i.e. a matter of your choice)?
Marrying the wrong, older man was a matter of my choice. What I lacked was enough maturity and information to know that he was a brute. My father didn’t allow me to date anyone at all. I was a 3rd year college student, 20 years old, and still under his thumb. It was my choice, but an uninformed choice is no choice at all.

5. Are these things that you can change, or are they things that you cannot change?
I had to grow up and face almost two decades of brutality before I could escape with my children. It is a long story. It was something I could change, but only once I was able to figure out how. As for the homeless and the hungry, no, I cannot change it by myself.

6. Do you (like me) firmly practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which you cannot control (a.k.a. that which you cannot change)?
No, I do not accept everything that I, alone, cannot change. I will always advocate for change where change is possible. Education is the first place to begin. Having been a victim advocate, a parenting education facilitator, and a community education facilitator for several years, I can tell you that people do have to help each other when things happen that shouldn’t happen. I respectfully disagree with you.
Sean Pratrick Tracy
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Re: Six Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'ough

Post by Sean Pratrick Tracy »

I love this topic. I understand that Scott tries to let us understand where he stands regarding accepting what we can not control, and therefore never believe in anything call evil or things that should not have been. While this idea is partly, or most of the time true, there are exceptional cases. To explain myself better, let me answer questions raised directly.
(1) planned death is an example of thing that should not have happened if it was not planned.

(2) Someone or group of persons that plan death for another fellow inorder to gain upper hand in the case they were probably competing for. This is an example of a person who shouldn't have been like this in the first place, if he's learn to see reason why they should not kill for a personal interest. This is because no one is born a killer.

(3) I have an uncle who ought to still be alive till now. But he's no more because someone planned his death and successfully executed it.

(4)I can not control the happening of my uncle's death because he's dead before the news got to us.

(5) I can not control it.

(6) Like I've earlier said, I love and believe in accepting things we can not control or prevent from happening as the mentality is necessary to move forward. However, the fact that those regrettable and unfortunate happenings are planned means that it could have been unplanned or not even started in the first place because the doer is not originally born to kill his fellow humans.
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