Ten Questions for People Who Believe Should-Not-Have-Ness Exists (i.e. for people who believe in 'shoulds' and 'oughts')

[Donald Cecil Hufstedler]

I understand that you hold a strong belief in the absence of "shoulds" and "oughts" and that you emphasize the importance of choice and acceptance in your perspective. You argue that the concepts of "should-ness" and "should-not-ness" are imaginary and that embracing choice and unconditional acceptance leads to spiritual freedom and self-discipline.

Your viewpoint encourages individuals to focus on their own choices and desires rather than being bound by external expectations or judgments. By embracing the principle of accepting what cannot be changed, you advocate for an approach that avoids resentful judgment and allows for personal growth and freedom.

Examples of something that "shouldn't" have happened can vary greatly depending on individual perspectives and beliefs. It could include acts of violence or harm, natural disasters, or personal misfortunes that individuals perceive as unfortunate or undesired.

Similarly, examples of a person or thing that "shouldn't" be the way they are can also be subjective. It might involve situations where individuals believe a person's behavior or characteristics are morally wrong or unacceptable based on their own values or societal norms.

The concept of something that "should" be happening right now but isn't is subjective and context-dependent. It could refer to personal goals or societal expectations that individuals believe are not being met.

The extent to which things are within one's control and a matter of choice can vary. Some situations may be influenced by personal choices and actions, while others may be beyond an individual's control.

Again, the ability to change certain things can vary. Some circumstances may be changeable through personal efforts or interventions, while others may be immutable or require acceptance of their unchangeable nature.

The practice of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting what cannot be controlled or changed is a perspective embraced by some individuals as a means to find peace, contentment, and personal growth. It can be a valuable approach for coping with circumstances that are beyond one's control.

It's important to recognize that these questions and their answers can be highly subjective and influenced by individual beliefs, perspectives, and life experiences. Different individuals may have different interpretations and approaches when it comes to accepting what cannot be changed and finding personal freedom.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I understand that you hold a strong belief in the absence of "shoulds" and "oughts" and that you emphasize the importance of choice and acceptance in your perspective. You argue that the concepts of "should-ness" and "should-not-ness" are imaginary and that embracing choice and unconditional acceptance leads to spiritual freedom and self-discipline.

Your viewpoint encourages individuals to focus on their own choices and desires rather than being bound by external expectations or judgments. By embracing the principle of accepting what cannot be changed, you advocate for an approach that avoids resentful judgment and allows for personal growth and freedom.

Examples of something that "shouldn't" have happened can vary greatly depending on individual perspectives and beliefs. It could include acts of violence or harm, natural disasters, or personal misfortunes that individuals perceive as unfortunate or undesired.

Similarly, examples of a person or thing that "shouldn't" be the way they are can also be subjective. It might involve situations where individuals believe a person's behavior or characteristics are morally wrong or unacceptable based on their own values or societal norms.

The concept of something that "should" be happening right now but isn't is subjective and context-dependent. It could refer to personal goals or societal expectations that individuals believe are not being met.

The extent to which things are within one's control and a matter of choice can vary. Some situations may be influenced by personal choices and actions, while others may be beyond an individual's control.

Again, the ability to change certain things can vary. Some circumstances may be changeable through personal efforts or interventions, while others may be immutable or require acceptance of their unchangeable nature.

The practice of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting what cannot be controlled or changed is a perspective embraced by some individuals as a means to find peace, contentment, and personal growth. It can be a valuable approach for coping with circumstances that are beyond one's control.

It's important to recognize that these questions and their answers can be highly subjective and influenced by individual beliefs, perspectives, and life experiences. Different individuals may have different interpretations and approaches when it comes to accepting what cannot be changed and finding personal freedom.

Hi, Donald Cecil Hufstedler,

Thank you for your reply, but please answer each of the six numbered questions in the Original Post (OP).


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

[Kenechukwu Okoye]

Yes to number #6, I do practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which I cannot control. This principle is fundamental in managing stress and maintaining a balanced perspective in life. It's important to understand that there are things beyond our control, and accepting this can lead to a more peaceful and productive mindset.

[Surabhi Rani]

I appreciate the concept of 'external success.' It appeals to me. It opens the door to a world of knowledge for me. Also, it triggers various thoughts related to the inner and true accomplishments in life within me. I have often wondered about the true possibility inherent in me. It's my main point of reflection and the philosophy of life. Everyone and everything is a success. Bees don't fail to be trees, and trees don't fail to be bees. We are succeeding at being what we are and doing what we do.

[CrisX]

I agree with you. There are not many situations that we cannot change. The majority is how we perceive and react. using words such as should or ought to, brings limiting beliefs to what we can do.

[Afam Okonkwo]

6. Yes, I share your perspective on fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting what we cannot control or change. It's a powerful approach to living more peacefully and mindfully.

[Jacy Covers]

I agree with you and I do believe that everything happens for a reason. The world is operational and works how it should be.

[Emmanuel Asamoah 5]

This is a discussion forum topic for the Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


As those who read my book already know, I don't believe in 'shoulds' and 'oughts'.

Accordingly, I don't believe anything happens that '"shouldn't" happen. I don't ever look at some aspect of unchangeable reality, and resentfully think, "It shouldn't be the way it unchangably is!"

In other words, I believe the would-be concept of 'should-ness' and 'should-not-ness' do not exist.

Thus, I don't believe there is anything you 'should' do. Likewise, I don't believe there is anything you 'should' not do.

For example, I neither believe you 'should' drink coffee tomorrow, nor do I believe you 'should' not drink coffee tomorrow.

The same is true of myself: I don't believe I 'should' drink coffee tomorrow; and I don't believe I 'should' not drink coffee tomorrow.

I have freedom of spirit (a.k.a. self-discipline) because I don't believe I'm bound or enslaved by any kind of 'shoulds' or 'oughts'--things I believe are imaginary phantoms. They are just superstitions, closely linked to judgementalism, especially moralizing self-righteous judgementalism. But an enslaving devil, nightmare, or phantom doesn't need to be real to enslave and torture you just the same. The inventive imagining mind can be a torturous master.

Instead, I believe in choice. When it comes to my choices, I always get exactly what I want, meaning what I choose.

Thus, you will never hear me (or anyone else who follows the teaching of my book) say something like "I shouldn't be eating this" while putting it in my mouth, whatever it is. No, we have spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline).

Likewise, as someone who practices the principle of fully and unconditionally accepting that which I cannot change, I absolutely don't look at things I cannot change and engage in resentful judgementalism by tossing around judgemental words like 'should' and 'ought', such as by saying things like, "That thing that happened in the past shouldn't have happened! I wish I could change the past. The past should be different than it is!", or "That thing I cannot change should not be the way it is!", or "The weather shouldn't be the way it is! It should be different!"

Most people who haven't read my book do believe in 'shoulds'. And even some people who have read my book still believe in them, thereby refusing to follow some of the 11 suggestions at the end of the book (namely Suggestion #4).

(Interestingly, most people who read my book agree with it all once they've read it, even though most don't agree with its conclusions before reading. In other words, my book is one of those special kinds of books that actually changes minds and changes lives and gives most readers a totally new perspective on life.)

For those of you who do still believe should-not-have-ness exists, I have some questions below I would love for you to answer. These aren't rhetorical questions. I am genuinely curious to know your answers. I love learning about different viewpoints and perspectives.


1. Can you give me some specific examples of something that happened that "shouldn't" have happened?

2. Can you give me some specific examples of a person or thing that "shouldn't" be the way it is?

3. Can you give me an example of something that "should" be happening right now (relative to you in your present in spacetime) but isn't?

4. In regard to those things or events that allegedly "shouldn't" be the way they were/are, are these things that are within your control (i.e. a matter of your choice)?

5. Are these things that you can change, or are they things that you cannot change?

6. Do you (like me) firmly practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which you cannot control (a.k.a. that which you cannot change)?


I look forward to your answers!


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott





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In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program, both for the free option and the paid option.

So Scott, being blind, especially in my case, was it bound to happen, should it happen, was it meant to happen. Don't I have the right to question why some people can see whatever is going on around them in the world while I cannot. I need a response please.

[Tom Blake]

Specific examples of something that happened that "shouldn't" have happened could include instances of natural disasters causing harm to innocent people, acts of violence or injustice, or accidents resulting in unfortunate outcomes.

[Tom Blake]

6. Yes, I firmly practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which I cannot control. This involves acknowledging the reality of situations, letting go of futile attempts to change the unchangeable, and focusing on what I can influence or change for the better.

[Tom Blake]

4. In regard to those things or events that allegedly "shouldn't" be the way they were/are, they may or may not be within my control. While I cannot control external events or the actions of others, I can control my response and actions in the face of adversity.

5. These things may vary in terms of whether they can be changed or not. Some may be within my sphere of influence and can be changed through proactive efforts, while others may be beyond my control and require acceptance.

[Ejoh Ebube]

This passage challenges the conventional notion of "shoulds" and "oughts," advocating for a perspective of unconditional acceptance and freedom of choice.

[Ejoh Ebube]

It encourages readers to reconsider their beliefs about what "should" or "shouldn't" happen, highlighting the liberating power of embracing personal choice and spiritual freedom.

[Ejoh Ebube]

The questions posed at the end invite readers to reflect on their own beliefs and experiences regarding the concept of "should-ness," fostering a deeper understanding of individual perspectives and attitudes towards acceptance and control.

[Dera Ezeakolam]

6. Yes, I firmly practice the principle of fully, totally, and unconditionally accepting that which I cannot control. This approach aligns with the concept of radical acceptance, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and embracing situations beyond our control to foster peace of mind and reduce unnecessary struggle.