Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

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Hasani Piyumika Perera
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Hasani Piyumika Perera »

Money troubles often result from overspending, not low income. Simply earning more without fixing spending habits may not help and could worsen problems. Examples, like lottery winners facing issues, highlight the risks of seeking more without addressing core problems. The importance of gratitude and caution about assuming that giving more always helps are key points.
Jay Lu
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Jay Lu »

Typically, merely increasing income doesn't solve problems; it can even exacerbate them. This is reflected in the saying 'more money, more problems.' Real contentment and financial stability require more than just additional resources; they need a mindset of gratitude and responsible management. Sometimes, having more leads to greater dissatisfaction and issues.
Jevonte Malik
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Jevonte Malik »

I disagree with you to some extent. I believe that, whether an individual uses money for a good or bad purpose, depends on the individual's mindset (or maybe financial mindset). People just need to be cautious of their innate desires for material things.
Ghettson1
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Ghettson1 »

It is important to recognize that the statement you provided reflects a particular perspective on the relationship between income and spending. While it is true that some individuals may indeed have a spending problem rather than an income problem, it is not accurate to generalize this claim to 99% of cases.

Financial situations can vary greatly from person to person, and it is essential to consider the nuances and complexities involved. While it is true that an increase in income does not guarantee improved financial management, it is also possible for individuals to use additional income responsibly, pay off debts, and improve their financial well-being.

The examples given, such as lottery winners going broke or ungrateful individuals becoming more ungrateful when given more, highlight specific circumstances that may not be representative of the majority. It is important to recognize that individual behavior and choices play a significant role in financial outcomes.

While it is true that excessive materialism, entitlement, or toxic enabling can lead to negative consequences, it is not accurate to assume that everyone falls into these categories. People have diverse experiences, motivations, and behaviors when it comes to money and gratitude.

While some individuals may indeed learn important lessons through challenging experiences or hitting rock bottom, it is not a universal path to salvation. Growth and transformation can occur in various ways, and it is important to approach each person's journey with empathy and understanding.
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To : Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Juanita Phelps »

I wish I couldn’t agree with you.

Education has been the bane of my existence. The more education I accumulate, the meaner I become. Well, maybe not so much mean as jealous. Hmmm? Right out of high school, my parents trotted me off to a nice little private college where I didn’t want to go. My choice was a large university elsewhere. Two and a half years into it, I left and got married.

About 4 years later, I returned to the little college, finished my B. S. Degree in education and settled down to teaching English. Other teachers around me had MS degrees and made significantly more money. But, it wasn’t so much the money. I should have had the MS by then. Blaming my parents, I sourly reasoned that I could have if they had allowed me to go to university.

In a rotten marriage, hating my job, and jealous of those MS degrees, I gathered up my two children and went to Washington, D.C. (Talk about misguided career planning.) There, I landed a very lucrative position as a legal secretary at a posh law firm just 5 blocks from the white house and an apartment just a couple of blocks away from that. Still mad about the MS degree, I went back to teaching, planning to go back to university part-time.

Eventually earning my MS Ed with a 4.0 GPA, it seemed my cloud would be silver, not just silver-lined. Nah. Now I’m jealous of people who have doctorates. As the wise old Bugs Bunny once said: “Where am I at, and how do I stop being at here?”
mrlefty0706
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by mrlefty0706 »

Your explanation of this issue makes me want to forget all about the lottery. I never spend much on lottery tickets but I have "wasted" money on the lottery. I was surprised by the statistics you cited, 70% of large jackpot lottery winners are bankrupt within 5 years is a staggering fact. I assume these bankruptcies are not due to the winner being generous with the winnings but rather never saving for a rainy day. The old adage regarding teaching one how to fish instead of just giving the person a fish to eat assures the person of a skill they can use for their future. The same is true if one wins a major lottery prize and gives money to everyone that asks for help, ultimately giving it all away.
Harty Muli
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Harty Muli »

I agree. I think our modern life has made it worse because of the egocentric life it promotes through capitalism. This is also the genesis of the problem of environmental degradation because individuals no longer hold sacrosanct that which is perceived as a shared resource such as the ecological environment. Industrialists, for example, are polluting our ecosystem through environmentally unfriendly policies all for self.
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Gee-Q Mdluli
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Gee-Q Mdluli »

This is so true; I've seen it in relationships where I've played caregiver. I tend to be generous, but over the years, I've learned to set limits. You give a man a fish; you're a good person who saved someone from starving. You give a man a fish every day; you morph from savior into the cheap b****** who only gives him fish.
Naushin Moledina
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Naushin Moledina »

"More money, more problems" is a subjective statement according to me. Someone who is managing money efficiently and gets a 2X income can actually increase their net worth compared to someone who has a spending problem. Sometimes, people actually grow if their salaries grow. There are billionaires and millionaires who are successful to a point we only can imagine. I think it is like the toy given to a child who knows how to play with it. If you give it someone who doesn't than it goes to waste.
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Vane Manyenga »

This perspective implies that the pursuit of material success may inadvertently lead to increased responsibilities, expectations, and potential pitfalls. It suggests that the allure of wealth may mask the inherent difficulties that come with it, reminding us of the nuanced nature of our aspirations and the intricate balance between desire and consequence.
mrlefty0706
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by mrlefty0706 »

People need to set their priorities before they can see what they really want. If family is most important then a man will focus on what is best for his family and not focus on making more money at the expense of time with his family. This is a potential mistake for most businessmen and probably leads to many divorces or heart attacks for the men that go all in on their career and live a very unhealthy lifestyle.
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Chitra Ayengar
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Chitra Ayengar »

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes wrote: October 27th, 2023, 7:42 pm If you haven't already, you can sign up to be personally mentored by Scott "Eckhart Aurelius" Hughes at this link.


99% of the time, when someone says they have an "income problem", they actually have a spending problem. It's kind of like how a detoxing alcoholic will claim that their problem is that they don't have enough to drink.

99% of the time when someone says or thinks that their problems would be solved by having more income and money, the exact opposite is actually the case. For example, if you double the income of someone who is in debt, they will likely just end up twice as much in debt. For example, someone who gets a mortgage and car loan they can't really afford on X income will just get twice as big a house and twice as expensive of a car loan on 2X income. They will just make the same mistakes but twice as bad.

That's where the expression "more money more problems" comes from. It means the person with the money is the problem, and the more money they get, the worse it gets.

Here are some real stats from the USA today to just illustrate the much deeper and much more timeless philosophical truth of which I speak: About 70% of big lottery winners end up going broke. 44% of winners file for bankruptcy within 5 years of winning the lottery. If you want be terribly broke and worse off financially then you are now, then hope to win the lottery.

It doesn't just happen with money: Give an ungrateful person more, and it just makes them more ungrateful (a.k.a. miserable).

Or, in other words, and I mean this playfully with no hatred at all: Give an entitled spoiled brat even more, and you just make them even more entitled and bratty and ungrateful (a.k.a. miserable).

Do you keep a daily gratitude journal in writing? Is your first thought when you wake up in the morning all the many things for which you are grateful?

Typically, the best way to destroy a person is to give them what they think they want. It's to be toxic enabler--something most people do in the name of love. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, people say. I don't know if I would actually use the label "good intentions" to describe toxic enabling in the false name of love, but it sure does a terribly massive amount of damage to humans, perhaps even more than outright hate. Careful what you do allegedly out of love, or what others do to you allegedly out of love.

99% of the time when someone claims they'd be better off if you gave them more of something, or if they otherwise got more of that thing, the truth is the exact opposite: They'd be better off with less, and worse off with more.

Luckily, nature and time has a way of teaching most people that lesson. All humans are on the addiction spectrum, and eventually pretty much all overdose in one sense or another. And rock bottom is where salvation is most often found, where people most often finally turn it all around.

Or, as I say it in my book, on page 43, "Those who have not been blessed by discomfort yet will be soon."





rock-bottom.jpg




---
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.
It is true that most of time we don't have a clue of what we want. We may feel we will be happy if we have more money but once we get more money we will long for something else. The want list never ends and gratitude has no place in people's life these days. It is high time we took stock of our needs and redirect life in a better path towards fulfillment.
Ronald Aminga
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Re: Typically, the best way to destroy a man is to give him what he thinks he wants. | "More money, more problems."

Post by Ronald Aminga »

Support systems, including friends, family, and professional assistance, play pivotal roles in facilitating positive change. Empathy and understanding are key when discussing these topics, as everyone's journey is distinct. Recognizing the nuances of individuals' experiences fosters a more compassionate and accurate understanding of the complexities involved in overcoming challenges and finding resilience.
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