Helping a total stranger with pure sympathy; do we still see that?

[Amy Luman]

I really don’t think that anyone does anything along this vein anymore. I try, but usually my attempts are rebuffed. I feel like not only do people avoid doing anything for others, those on the receiving end are hesitant to be taken care of. Everyone seems to want to do things all on their own. This is a divergence from prior times, as well as is not trying to help.

[Stoppelmann]

It seemed like Joe was making a connection between Beth and his mother. He saw similarities between Beth and his mother. Maybe by helping Beth he was fulfilling a need to help someone because he wasn’t able to help his mother. Even though she was a stranger, he made a connection in his mind between her and his mother that somehow brought him some peace after seeing his mother die. I think people recognize similarities between strangers and loved ones all the time and try to help similarly situated people because they can relate to the experience or suffering.

I think that you are right, but that there is more behind it.

As I wrote hier: https://onlinephilosophyclub.com/forums ... =6&t=18609, love is when people realise that some kind of bond has grown between them, and it may be not called love, but it is. Love is really a feeling that we belong together, and I have seen it grow in the strangest places, between the oddest couples, under the strangest circumstances. I also know many frustrated lovers, especially young ones, and was one many years ago when I was about 19.

The attraction in this case was probably because of his mother, but there are always many influences in such situations, and Joe might have said something very odd as an explanation to people looking on, and perhaps he didn’t really “know” why he did looked after her. He just did. Often we only come to understand what we have done afterwards. After many years of confusion, I came to realise that we simply need a bond, we want to belong, and when we’re ostracised, another outcast can seem very familiar.

[Stoppelmann]

I really don’t think that anyone does anything along this vein anymore. I try, but usually my attempts are rebuffed. I feel like not only do people avoid doing anything for others, those on the receiving end are hesitant to be taken care of. Everyone seems to want to do things all on their own. This is a divergence from prior times, as well as is not trying to help.

Yes, individualism suggests that we're alone in this meatsack, but we have a yearning for someone, something that we can connect with. Most people come around, even if it is at the end in their hospital bed in reaction to the care they are being given. I think you shouldn't stop trying ...

[Sushan]

Judging by what you have written on this topic, I think you confuse sympathy with empathy. Empathy is cognitive i.e. it's about learned knowledge of the other. Sympathy is feeling and you need not know anything at all about the other to feel sympathy and act from sympathy.

Sympathy (which comes from the Greek sym, meaning "together," and pathos, referring to feelings or emotion) is used when one person shares the feelings of another; an example is when one experiences sadness when someone close is experiencing grief or loss.

Empathy is also related to pathos. It differs from sympathy in carrying an implication of greater emotional distance. With empathy, you can imagine or understand how someone might feel, without necessarily having those feelings yourself.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-a ... difference

However, I feel that we are talking about compassion, which is an emotional response to empathy or sympathy and creates a desire to help. According to Psychology Today, “Compassion is an empathic understanding of a person's feelings, accompanied by altruism, or a desire to act on that person's behalf.” Put simply: Compassion is when you relate to someone’s situation, and you want to help them. You see someone in trouble, and you feel like pitching in.

So whether we feel sympathy or empathy, it is a question of whether we respond. In either case, it's a matter of knowing your limits, for example, if you have an equally bad situation at home, but you help the stranger anyway. That may be spontaneous compassion, but then you return to the next situation and may have exhausted your potential, leaving the person at home in need. Or you may react to a feeling without being able to distinguish between someone taking advantage of your feelings and someone who is truly in need. These are examples of people who lack the ability to differentiate and are so spontaneous that they easily misjudge situations.

It is also a question of whether I exhaust my potential to help, or whether I give proportionately and when exploited am able to write off my loss to experience. I don’t know about others, but I suspect that we all have such experiences that we have to put down to a lesson in differentiation.

You have nicely defined the terms sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Thank you.

Yes, we feel the urge to help total strangers depending on our personalities and many other facts. And we may have (or will have) faced embarrassing situations following being tricked by those who we go to help. And we learn to be cautious from those experiences. Some choose to make their hearts 'hard' and not to help anyone in the future. And some choose to help the strangers even in the future, like the man who still tried to put the snake out from the fire even it bit him. But I think the latter group is very few in numbers.

Do you think congregating in a church or other place of worship is or should be for the purpose of rehearsing compassionate action, thought, and speech?

With due respect, I am not for congregating at anywhere and asking from a superior power for happiness and wealth (or any other necessity). So, in my opinion, what you said is a better practice to be done in such congregations than what I previously mentioned. But I do not think even the latter is a necessity.

[Sushan]

This topic is about the January 2023 Philosophy Book of the Month



Joe, a gay stripper, saved Beth, a prostitute, from dying from malnutrition, and treated and nourished her with his hard earned money. They had no connection in between, and Joe had no benefits by doing so. When Beth asked for a reason to treating her like that, all that Joe said was "I saw my mother die".

What do you think about Joe? Is he a real character or just a fictional one? Is this the good Samaritan? Do such people still exist?

It seemed like Joe was making a connection between Beth and his mother. He saw similarities between Beth and his mother. Maybe by helping Beth he was fulfilling a need to help someone because he wasn’t able to help his mother. Even though she was a stranger, he made a connection in his mind between her and his mother that somehow brought him some peace after seeing his mother die. I think people recognize similarities between strangers and loved ones all the time and try to help similarly situated people because they can relate to the experience or suffering.

I think what you have said can be true. In psychology we talk about looking for a motherly figure in wives and a fatherly figure in husbands by men and women accordingly. Although this is not fully applicable to what you mentioned, I think what you said can be the case here.

[Sushan]

Although life has made people hard and each has to look out for themselves, I do believe good Samaritans still exist. I have see people stop in the middle of the road to help an animal that might be run over or a person scared to cross an intersection be helped. I see people everyday receive help over social media from complete strangers as they have compassion and empathy for others. The world would definitely be a better place if we can have more of this.

I agree. There still are good Samaritans. And I think it is easy to help animals than humans since animals do not pretend as in need of help just to cheat on the helper.

And for the thing about social media, I think social cognition plays a bigger role in such situations compared to actual sympathy or empathy.

[Hubre De Klerk]

Although life has made people hard and each has to look out for themselves, I do believe good Samaritans still exist. I have see people stop in the middle of the road to help an animal that might be run over or a person scared to cross an intersection be helped. I see people everyday receive help over social media from complete strangers as they have compassion and empathy for others. The world would definitely be a better place if we can have more of this.

I agree. There still are good Samaritans. And I think it is easy to help animals than humans since animals do not pretend as in need of help just to cheat on the helper.

And for the thing about social media, I think social cognition plays a bigger role in such situations compared to actual sympathy or empathy.

With the social media aspect, I would have to agree with you as people "see" someone doing something good for others. So it isn't always just because you care, but rather who will see me "helping". It is a sad reality, unfortunately. It is also definitely easier to help animals than people as they are pure if you understand what I mean.

[Sculptor1]

It is rare indeed.

Even those that appear to do so have their own selfish motives it can be argued.
A Christian does it to curry favour with his "maker".
Others do it because it make them feel good.
But they all do it with judgement. Not just anybody receives the help. There is no unconditional assistance

[Stoppelmann]

It is rare indeed.

Even those that appear to do so have their own selfish motives it can be argued.
A Christian does it to curry favour with his "maker".
Others do it because it make them feel good.
But they all do it with judgement. Not just anybody receives the help. There is no unconditional assistance

That is probably your experience, as it is mine, but there are exceptions that do reveal a potential that is worth investigating. I think it is also the reason why people started thinking that love is something divine, and to experience it we have to imitate it. It is something like we say of beauty, that it is in the eye of the beholder, or the way a smile often causes a smile, or a laugh causes a laugh. Many people I knew in nursing, especially the older nurses, had a tale to tell of help they had along the way. I'm sure it has an infectious property.

[Wilkister Inzai Avagalwa]

This kind of person still does exist. People who help others with no strings attached or expecting anything in return. People who help generously out of sympathy. I do this at times. I help because I feel like doing so and because somehow someone somewhere needs my help despite how small it is.

[Sculptor1]

It is rare indeed.

Even those that appear to do so have their own selfish motives it can be argued.
A Christian does it to curry favour with his "maker".
Others do it because it make them feel good.
But they all do it with judgement. Not just anybody receives the help. There is no unconditional assistance

That is probably your experience, as it is mine, but there are exceptions that do reveal a potential that is worth investigating. I think it is also the reason why people started thinking that love is something divine, and to experience it we have to imitate it. It is something like we say of beauty, that it is in the eye of the beholder, or the way a smile often causes a smile, or a laugh causes a laugh. Many people I knew in nursing, especially the older nurses, had a tale to tell of help they had along the way. I'm sure it has an infectious property.

Do you have any example where people offer help unconditionally..

Don't worry - I can wait...
I shall not hold my breath.

[Sculptor1]

This kind of person still does exist. People who help others with no strings attached or expecting anything in return. People who help generously out of sympathy. I do this at times. I help because I feel like doing so and because somehow someone somewhere needs my help despite how small it is.

I image when you help you feel good?

[Stoppelmann]

It is rare indeed.

Even those that appear to do so have their own selfish motives it can be argued.
A Christian does it to curry favour with his "maker".
Others do it because it make them feel good.
But they all do it with judgement. Not just anybody receives the help. There is no unconditional assistance

That is probably your experience, as it is mine, but there are exceptions that do reveal a potential that is worth investigating. I think it is also the reason why people started thinking that love is something divine, and to experience it we have to imitate it. It is something like we say of beauty, that it is in the eye of the beholder, or the way a smile often causes a smile, or a laugh causes a laugh. Many people I knew in nursing, especially the older nurses, had a tale to tell of help they had along the way. I'm sure it has an infectious property.

Do you have any example where people offer help unconditionally..

Don't worry - I can wait...
I shall not hold my breath.

The old ladies in the neighbourhood regularly get help from their neighbours, but you would say they do it conditionally, and we go shopping for one regularly, because we are able, not for any wage. When our cellar was flooded, about ten neighbours came and heped spontaneously, even they weren't affected. When a woman without any family quarantined herself because of covid and was having a hard time, people rallied to cook, wash and shop for her. These are just recent examples in a small house of flats.

[Sculptor1]

This kind of person still does exist. People who help others with no strings attached or expecting anything in return. People who help generously out of sympathy. I do this at times. I help because I feel like doing so and because somehow someone somewhere needs my help despite how small it is.

I imagine when you help you feel good?

[Sculptor1]

It is rare indeed.

Even those that appear to do so have their own selfish motives it can be argued.
A Christian does it to curry favour with his "maker".
Others do it because it make them feel good.
But they all do it with judgement. Not just anybody receives the help. There is no unconditional assistance

That is probably your experience, as it is mine, but there are exceptions that do reveal a potential that is worth investigating. I think it is also the reason why people started thinking that love is something divine, and to experience it we have to imitate it. It is something like we say of beauty, that it is in the eye of the beholder, or the way a smile often causes a smile, or a laugh causes a laugh. Many people I knew in nursing, especially the older nurses, had a tale to tell of help they had along the way. I'm sure it has an infectious property.

Do you have any example where people offer help unconditionally..

Don't worry - I can wait...
I shall not hold my breath.

The old ladies in the neighbourhood regularly get help from their neighbours, but you would say they do it conditionally, and we go shopping for one regularly, because we are able, not for any wage. When our cellar was flooded, about ten neighbours came and heped spontaneously, even they weren't affected. When a woman without any family quarantined herself because of covid and was having a hard time, people rallied to cook, wash and shop for her. These are just recent examples in a small house of flats.

And do you believe in the Christian god?