Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

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Mily81
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Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

Post by Mily81 » September 18th, 2016, 11:00 am

Why philosophy lovers having difficult time finding romance?
I experimented with the online dating site, and when you type "philosophy" for the interest section for your match, the chance to find someone is one in a thousand.
So many people say they love " television", " movie" for their interest, and people who say "philosophy" are minuscule. Can television and movie coexist with philosophy as the interest of the same person?
Does this tendency to avoid philosophy in most people's life ( at least in the online dating site) reflect materialistic trend in our modern society or is it just restricted to the online dating site which can be considered as somehow an easy way to meet people?
Do people who love philosophy have to hide their identity as philosophile because it is considered so minor and not popular?
I really thank this site because for me at least this is one of the few ways to meet like-minded people in my life.

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Greta
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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by Greta » September 19th, 2016, 3:49 am

Not wishing to be flip but I think the phenomena leading to the below Bell Curve has a significant influence on your findings:

Image

What is philosophy but the aggregated thoughts of adults who never "grew up" enough to lose their existential curiosity?
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated—Gandhi.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by TSBU » September 19th, 2016, 4:55 am

Mily81 wrote:1Why philosophy lovers having difficult time finding romance?
2I experimented with the online dating site, and when you type "philosophy" for the interest section for your match, the chance to find someone is one in a thousand.
3So many people say they love " television", " movie" for their interest, and people who say "philosophy" are minuscule. Can television and movie coexist with philosophy as the interest of the same person?
4Does this tendency to avoid philosophy in most people's life ( at least in the online dating site) reflect materialistic trend in our modern society or is it just restricted to the online dating site which can be considered as somehow an easy way to meet people?
5Do people who love philosophy have to hide their identity as philosophile because it is considered so minor and not popular?
6I really thank this site because for me at least this is one of the few ways to meet like-minded people in my life.
1. Big question, it depends. Too many people to answer, to many meanings for "romance" or "philosophy". Well, many people say that "philosophy" is what you do when you are frustrated and you don't know what to think, so maybe for some people, philosophy is a consequence of their romantic problems.
2. I thought about it for... 5 minutes. If you want someone who fits with your mind a lot, you'll need more space for the text than the space guiven forthe photo, I would use that sites if they have 50 pages for talking about yourself... "interest, philosophy"... ehm... yeah, but... what philosophy? XD.
3.Yes, television and movies can coexist with philosophy (for my definition of philosophy).
4. No, I think it reflects how people are, not their culture. But you probably should focus in what you want, and let other people do the same.
5. It depends on what do you call philosophy, but in some places, if you read a book in some places, people will throw stones to you "unga, unga, gay".
6. It's a good place to search for some kind of people, but...
Oh, I was going to put a video called "cumbia epistemolgica", but I realized it is in Spanish, is a music group singing a funny song about that. "There are lots of epystemologic fish in this world, don't worry" XD.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by AceOfBlades » September 20th, 2016, 1:43 am

Luv u bb <3

Okay, fine, I'll be serious since this site demands that I be so formal as to capitalize the word I when referring to myself, ruining my subtle way of expressing my lack of respect for my own individuality.

I was tested to have an IQ of 138, and similar results were found on other similar, not quite IQ tests. Forget IQ scores. Intelligence is just a simplified way of adequately explaining a complex subject. Adequate isn't enough here. Most people like things of average complexity. A small number of people like simple things. An equally small number of people find interest in complicated matters.

I personally find myself attracted to people who have an interest in or actively create some form of art, be it literature, visual art or music. In my experience, most artists tend to be the right combination of creatively minded and intelligent as to have some interesting points of view on philosophical matters. I sometimes think we have too many critics and not enough artists. Really, how much better of a place would the world be if it were ran by people whose goal in life is to create something beautiful? Right... I need to stay on topic...

In short, people who are generally regarded as "smart" tend to have rarer interests that few others share.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by LuckyR » October 1st, 2016, 11:54 pm

Mily81 wrote:Why philosophy lovers having difficult time finding romance?
I experimented with the online dating site, and when you type "philosophy" for the interest section for your match, the chance to find someone is one in a thousand.
So many people say they love " television", " movie" for their interest, and people who say "philosophy" are minuscule. Can television and movie coexist with philosophy as the interest of the same person?
Does this tendency to avoid philosophy in most people's life ( at least in the online dating site) reflect materialistic trend in our modern society or is it just restricted to the online dating site which can be considered as somehow an easy way to meet people?
Do people who love philosophy have to hide their identity as philosophile because it is considered so minor and not popular?
I really thank this site because for me at least this is one of the few ways to meet like-minded people in my life.
I guess you get what you look for. Are you interested in someone who is "into" TV or movies? If so, put that in your profile and rack up the numbers. OTOH if you are into someone who likes to think you could try to put in "philosophy" but as you know your numbers will be low, perhaps you could find a different marker (than "philosophy") that will capture your desired group.
"As usual... it depends."

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by Felix » October 2nd, 2016, 2:46 pm

It's advertising, just saying you enjoy philosophy is not going to go very far, you have to spice up your description: a hang-gliding philosopher, a gardening philosopher, a doppelganger hunting philosopher, etc.
"We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are." - Anaïs Nin

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by Nick_A » October 3rd, 2016, 6:11 pm

Mily81 wrote:Why philosophy lovers having difficult time finding romance?
I experimented with the online dating site, and when you type "philosophy" for the interest section for your match, the chance to find someone is one in a thousand.
So many people say they love " television", " movie" for their interest, and people who say "philosophy" are minuscule. Can television and movie coexist with philosophy as the interest of the same person?
Does this tendency to avoid philosophy in most people's life ( at least in the online dating site) reflect materialistic trend in our modern society or is it just restricted to the online dating site which can be considered as somehow an easy way to meet people?
Do people who love philosophy have to hide their identity as philosophile because it is considered so minor and not popular?
I really thank this site because for me at least this is one of the few ways to meet like-minded people in my life.
In all fairness there is philosophy and there is philosophy. I've experienced that it is a rare few who still respect philosophy as the love of wisdom rather than the modern definition of philosophy as the expression of ones imagined self importance making listening impossible. I'm convinced that this attitude can be a real turn off but the love of wisdom and respect for the attitude that makes it attractive is very much desired by those with a similar love. Water seeks its own level. If you still have a love for wisdom as opposed to a modern dedication to conditioned attitudes, let it shine and the rest will take care of itself.
Man would like to be an egoist and cannot. This is the most striking characteristic of his wretchedness and the source of his greatness." Simone Weil....Gravity and Grace

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by Fooloso4 » October 4th, 2016, 2:38 pm

Mily81:
Why philosophy lovers having difficult time finding romance?
I have known many professional and amateur philosophers and have not seen any difference between their success at romance versus that of people with other interests or professions.
I experimented with the online dating site, and when you type "philosophy" for the interest section for your match, the chance to find someone is one in a thousand.
There is a difference between romantic love and friendship. Perhaps you would do better by keeping them separate or at least not trying to combine them. Philosophy is a rather vague term. Many who claim to love philosophy have no interest in reading or discussing the work of philosophers. What they are interested in is imaginative speculation or feel good affirmation or argument or informing the world of their views. And so, when someone says that they are interested in philosophy that could mean many different things and may conjure images of someone who is flighty and not well grounded or without concern for practical matters or overbearing and contentious.
Can television and movie coexist with philosophy as the interest of the same person?
Of course. Television and movies may even coexist with philosophy in the same show. In fact, once your ear is attuned to it, you will find many references to philosophy and hints that the writers were philosophy majors in school (and now have to do something to earn a living).
Does this tendency to avoid philosophy in most people's life ( at least in the online dating site) reflect materialistic trend in our modern society or is it just restricted to the online dating site which can be considered as somehow an easy way to meet people?
I have been around long enough to see a general interest in philosophy wax and wane. I have not done a study of it, but it seems to be connected with economics and political events rather than modern society. Philosophy has always been something that only a minority is interested in.
Do people who love philosophy have to hide their identity as philosophile because it is considered so minor and not popular?
Most serious philosophers who I have known do not hide it but do not advertise it either. Those who do advertise it are usually dilettantes.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by Renee » November 1st, 2016, 1:10 pm

Mily81 wrote:1Why philosophy lovers having difficult time finding romance?
2I experimented with the online dating site, and when you type "philosophy" for the interest section for your match, the chance to find someone is one in a thousand.
3So many people say they love " television", " movie" for their interest, and people who say "philosophy" are minuscule. Can television and movie coexist with philosophy as the interest of the same person?
4Does this tendency to avoid philosophy in most people's life ( at least in the online dating site) reflect materialistic trend in our modern society or is it just restricted to the online dating site which can be considered as somehow an easy way to meet people?
5Do people who love philosophy have to hide their identity as philosophile because it is considered so minor and not popular?
6I really thank this site because for me at least this is one of the few ways to meet like-minded people in my life.
Hey! Hey! I wrote the book on failure at romance, and on being a philosopher.

A. Everybody on every dating site cries the blues that another group or other demographics has an easier time. This truth (because it is true) is two-pronged: A.a. Most people's interest and attractive qualities and attraction are shared by a small part of the population, no matter how you slice it: IQ, politics, movies, tv, whatever. Dumb people have too few dumb people to choose from, and smart people have too few smart people to choose from. Interestingly, normal people (+ or - one deviation) have too few normal people to choose from, although theirs is the largest demographic. A.b. The grass is always greener on the other side, one figures that one has bad luck, so others must have good luck; this is a fallacy, everyone has bad luck (except very tall, very good looking guys.)

B. is that philosophers, some hinted at this, are self-educating Asperger's types. I believe in this. Because high-functioning autists and Aspies are lost by natural senses of interacting with others, and because their natural compass to navigate the social and psychological landscape of their lives is broken, they need to learn other ways to navigate, and they spend their entire life learning their own way how to behave, what to say, and how to read other people. (Yours truly very much so.)

This lends itself to a lot of introspection, and only a small step for a man, but a giant leap for philosophy, takes the thinker Aspie from learning to navigate socially to learning to navigate metaphysically etc. It's a transferable skill, and if the Aspie is somewhat happy with his or her own success at learning the landscape blindly, then he or she will revel also in philosophy.

C. Online dating: everyone is insane there, has been my experience (yours truly also very much included in that group). It is hopeless to find love, happiness, or even just a piece of tail there. People who write brilliant, captivating profile descriptions are psychos, with impossible demands. People who write one-liner descriptions are retarded, or murderous maniacs. People who appear to be normal on the text are boring and use cliches. Not a good place to start to look for whom to have children with.

D. I would not hide the fact I/You are a philosophically inclined person. This has advantages: if you find another philosopher who looks cute and want to bone him/ her, that's striking gold. Finding a non-philosopher with good looks will guarantee failure in the relationship sooner or later. Finding a philosopher who is not cute or otherwise not your cup of tea, so to speak, is no loss -- you can drop the channels of communication at a flash.

E. So... you say 1 in 100 is a philosopher. I say 1 in 20 philosophers will be compatible in the looks department (mutually). That's one in 2000 prospects.

Join a site which has at least 2000 members in the gender you are looking at for mates.
Ignorance is power.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romanc

Post by Dissimulation » March 23rd, 2017, 8:33 pm

I avoid any reference to my interests in philosophy, to many social conventions and the few people I have dated who proclaimed an interest in philosophy over stated there interest. A couple with genuine interest in philosophy sounds quite combustible ( fun, dangerous, passionate). Strong emotional feelings and dependencies in philosophical argument likely requires two very formidable constitutions.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

Post by Firebrook » December 27th, 2017, 4:42 am

Great question.

I've read and written lots of philosophy, but at this point I would not (if single) invoke the word philosophy. Why? Because I'd be afraid of coming across as stuffy or uptight. As I see it, we are all 'philosophers' in the way that matters most --in the everyday sense. We think about love, death, god, science, aging, politics, and so on. Here's how I reason: If there really is something in those famous old books, then reading them should allow us to act and speak more effectively without directly appealing to those books. The proof is in the pudding. If I was single and met a woman who liked Kojeve's Lectures on Hegel (a book that really moved me), then that would be sexy indeed. But mostly I'd just look at how she treated me to see how intelligent and noble she was. I'd expect her to judge me in the same way. There are lots clever people who can understand a difficult book, but I think we value embodied or lived wisdom far more than cleverness --especially when it comes to love.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

Post by Dissimulation » December 28th, 2017, 3:32 pm

I relate to your care with the word philosophy. Its very utterance seems to create abstractions and unfounded opinions, I imagine this is in part due to the self-righteous pretension that the interest and the word convey a social value, equally troubling the 'anguished' infantile who came across a quote and mistook it for understanding - Nietzsche in one hand and a keyboard in the other. It is a personal interest in that it is quite normative for me and has meaningful personal value, In translates into all my experiences implicitly. I believe this may also cause a rift in recognizing and disclosing a shared interest. though I wonder would such a disclosure be anymore successful than a relationship without it? Should 2 pending lovers both have an interest in 'philosophy' says little, the vast multitudes of topics to read, to create or to negate is of such depth that even finding a potential love interest with an interest in relation is a tall order. However, I have experienced that the methods of understanding, insight and comprehension that are often developed translate well in relations of all sorts. I.E the qualities expressed and perceived, recognized and disclosed that are responsible for the growth of romance. Though I must admit the odd time that someone by chance enquires to the books im reading or i go off on a tangent about a particular thing I feel anxious at offering any particular explanation. Personally my interest and relationships were unintended and without direction, In each experience its the unique qualitative experience of the relationship that I am unable to articulate - the relational magnitude of romantic passion and love between individuals is implicitly felt however the complexity in its mediation is mischievous. social Titles and Entitlement are carried like shield and sword, its taken often as truth or dogma ( a concern for ones reflection, perceived inadequacy, inverted and communicated I.E stereotypes as ideal.. Pretentious intellect needs to express anxiety of inadequacy, inverted, the individual quantifies intelligence and strives to have it recognized. Feelings of weakness or powerlessness, inverted, obsessive development in physicality or any other indeterminate). I raise this issue because a commonality in all who explore and form the world of ideas is to understand- inadvertently or perhaps with passionate violation understanding requires the negation of untruth. Even if wrong or undisclosed It has effect on relationship. I think philosophy is an ocean open to those who have the courage to think a thought through, The strength to choose to act or not act on that thought and the conviction to speak on that thought and the tungsten clad discipline to choose why and what to say and still more difficult the choice to say nothing. Besides I care little, if at all, about what a person tells me they are - both suspect and irrational, in any relation , the relational content is mediated and experienced strictly and uniquely by the individuals engaged ( In relational magnitude a dialectical description of values(social norms) erroneously is communicated by that which is to be valued/mediated. I digress as I tend to do on my lunch Breaks, good hunting - Perhaps yours will be the next great romance Sartre & Beauvoir.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

Post by Firebrook » January 9th, 2018, 12:53 am

Hi. Nice post. It was a little tough to read as a single paragraph, but I think I follow you.

I'm actually married to an artistic type. She reads, of course, but can't enjoy/follow some of the books I've really liked (Kojeve's lectures on Hegel). Actually I've yet to meet in person a woman who really gave a damn about Hegel or Zizek or Rorty (and so on). At times I'd be bothered by this. I'd especially be bothered when I had written what I considered some cutting edge philosophy. She couldn't follow all the abstraction. She didn't have the background to see where it fit in the progression. It also made her sad, or gave her some kind of unpleasant feeling. I think that's because it was an attempt to push demystification to its limit, to get behind every pose. It was related to Stirner and The Irony in Hegel's Lectures on Fine Art. It's dark stuff, and yet it is also (in theory) utterly transcendent.

These days I see that my writing was an especially masculine expression. If she could really appreciate it as I did, then she wouldn't be my 'she' in the same way. I'd be trading the sexual polarity for a deeper friendship. But I like that polarity. I'm the man, the doubting scientist who quantifies, the cynical gauger of motives. She's our connection to the sillier/flakier/magical stuff. She has a taste for New Age stuff, without being fanatical. I have to admit that it works for her. It's like a vitamin she needs. My own worldview is pretty dark. I sometimes miss the magic I've stripped away and think of myself as a vampire who enjoys watching others believe. Now this 'darkness' or iconoclasm has swallowed the magic I initially found in philosophy. I possess the magic 'completely' in a certain sense precisely because it no longer works on me. Or it works as pure negativity, pure critique. Even saying it bores me. The little flirtatious games between men and women seem far more real than the big righteous talk or fussiness about words. 'Know the male (until it bores you) yet keep the female (while testosterone levels are sufficient for projecting this last shred of mystique on mortal things).'

I felt kind of brooding as I wrote this, but I had to laugh at the end. The laugher of gods haunts cynical posing. It's probably a complicated way of being sexy. For forbidden abstract other women or for the fickle woman that men carry within themselves (soul image).

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

Post by Dissimulation » February 2nd, 2018, 1:35 pm

I like to make things tough from time to time to muddle the gloom of it all. Interesting insight on sexual polarity and the relational movement towards friendship. It seems Hegel and his ideas serve as an ontology of sorts, perhaps Kierkegaard expressed it best as a demonic ethicacy, a disclaimer would have been helpful. To think in a thoughtless world as a single individual, no doubt results in a multitude of conflicts and conditions. I do not have any desire to develop or share my ideas with another without cause or commonality and inverted I do not wish to discuss the finer points of sowing with a seamstress or listen to the babel of old timers discussing what Play or player a team ought to have used. I must concede that recognition and disclosure are powerful motivators, If something vital needs to be communicated I have the words to do so, the body to actualize and a mouth that may convey with equal or greater effect. Particularly difficult in certain areas of interest dominated by specific terminology. I think the Danes and the German pioneers of thought have shown the implicit difficulties....to the disinterested, we speak only in strange tongues, the maddening howl of a higher or lower lunacy. I realize as I type frantically that if i found that shared 'interest' In a romantic possibility the outcome would be undesirable. the Greeks understood it best, life as a tragic comedy.

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Re: Why philosophy lovers have difficult time finding romance?

Post by Frost » February 2nd, 2018, 2:45 pm

Because women say they want a smart man, but what they really mean is they want someone that is smart at making money.

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