Pattern-chaser wrote: ↑November 2nd, 2020, 8:46 amJack D Ripper wrote: ↑October 31st, 2020, 6:20 pm ...Perhaps due to being polite. [...] Sometimes, of course, being polite dictates that one not speak the truth. So one either dissembles or one is not polite. So this really comes down to a question of values, of what one regards as most important. That might vary on a case by case basis, as sometimes the one approach may seem more appropriate whereas in other cases the other approach may seem most appropriate. Sometimes, a "useful" response will be impossible.Pattern-chaser wrote: ↑November 1st, 2020, 7:51 am Personally, I prefer to focus on courtesy, rather than politeness. Courtesy is a code of practice that allows us to speak unpalatable truths without insult, and the violence that inevitably follows. If politeness requires - even only "sometimes" - that one not speak the truth, then I reject it. But you're right, of course, that it is not always possible to make a "useful" response. 😧
You made the difference clearer than I did. "Sometimes, of course, being polite dictates that one not speak the truth." Courtesy, as I understand it, does not require falsehood. Essentially, it only requires that we avoid ad hominem attacks, although we usually describe and understand it in much simpler (and less philosophical) words. 😉Jack D Ripper wrote: ↑November 1st, 2020, 2:47 pm I do not understand the distinction between courtesy and politeness that you are trying to make.
I don't know of any truth that requires me to insult the person I'm talking to. Avoiding insult is not always obvious or easy, but I think it can always be done ... can't it? 🤔Jack D Ripper wrote: ↑November 1st, 2020, 2:47 pm I think in many cases, speaking unpalatable truths cannot be done without insult. Of course, there is a difference between saying, "I believe you might be mistaken" and "You are wrong, you moron!", but sometimes people are offended and feel insulted at the suggestion that they might be making a mistake.
I guess my example was not clear enough. Consider responses to these questions:
Does this outfit make me look fat?
How do you like this meal I made?
How do I look?
Now, imagine the truthful answer to these questions being as bad as possible. (E.g., Yes, it makes you look even fatter than you are; the meal was the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth; you look terrible today, like a drowned rat.) How will you respond honestly without insult?
Will you respond thusly:
"Hey, look over there." And then run away? Of course, that is not answering the questions.
These particular questions (and answers) are not from my own experience (thankfully), but they are intended to be such that people can relate to them, and are, I am led to believe, not rare sorts of questions.
Also, of course, some people feel insulted easily (which I intended to convey in my earlier response, but evidently failed to do so), where one can simply assert, "I believe you might be mistaken," and the person reacts as if you said, "you are a total moron and are completely wrong about everything you have ever said in your entire life." Have you never encountered such people? If not in real life, in an online forum, perhaps?