Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here.

Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Budding Author »

I'd like to ask you something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I'm not able to talk much around people. I'm not really a nerdy introvert type. I've got a lot of friends but still I struggle to make eye contacts and short conversations. I'm really great at convincing people with my conversation skills but when it comes to people my age or a bit older or younger than me. I struggle to converse with them. I'm going off to college next week. I can't help but overthink every possible aspect.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Hi, Budding Author,

Thank you for your question! :)

Budding Author wrote: September 11th, 2023, 3:33 am I'd like to ask you something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I'm not able to talk much around people. I'm not really a nerdy introvert type. I've got a lot of friends but still I struggle to make eye contacts and short conversations. I'm really great at convincing people with my conversation skills but when it comes to people my age or a bit older or younger than me. I struggle to converse with them. I'm going off to college next week. I can't help but overthink every possible aspect.

May I ask if you have already read my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All?

If so, how many times have you read it?

I do recommend everyone read my book at least twice, for the reasons explained in this topic.

I ask the above question because they will help me interpret what you mean when you say you are "not able" to do something.

People who haven't read my book and/or who don't follow the advice in my book tend to use phrases like "not able" and "cannot" differently than I and those who have read book use those kind of phrases.

For example, you will hear me (and those who follow my teachings) say things like, "I cannot change what has happened in my past," or, "I am not able to squat 3,000 pounds in the gym," or "I, as a human, am not able to breathe in outer space without special equipment."

But you will not hear us say, "I cannot stop drinking alcohol," "I cannot lose weight," or, "I am not able to stay faithful to my spouse. I must cheat on them by having an affair."

Those latter things are kinds of things most humans will say. That is how most people use phrases like "not able" or "cannot". But that is not how I use them, and likewise is not how those who follow the teachings of my book use them.

So to correctly interpret and understand what you mean by those phrase, and by extension, your question, I would first need to know if you have read my book twice and are following its teachings or not.

In other words, I would first need to know whether you are using those phrases as most people use them or using them in the much rarer and stricter and more inner-peace-allowing way that I use them.

There's way too much in the book about that subject to quote it all here or summarize it here, so instead I provide this small one quote from the book as merely an example of how the book talks about this subject:

In It Together (Page 187) wrote: The egoic voice in your head pretending to be you will lie. It may say:

“It was a hard day, so I need to eat for comfort.”

“I must eat.”

“I need a drink of whiskey.”

“I want to not gamble, but I have to go to the casino one last time.”

“I can’t quit until I’m ahead.”

“I need to win the money I lost before I can stop.”

“I need one last fix before I go to rehab.”

“I need a spouse because I cannot be happy living alone.”

“I have to do something.”

“They need to be punished.”

“I have to teach them a lesson.”

“The world sucks; I need to fix it.”

“I can’t be happy with inner peace until the world is fixed!”

“I need to do something! What should I do? OMG, what do I do?!”
In It Together (Page 120) wrote:An imaginary roadblock can be as effective as a real one.

With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott




&quot;An imaginary roadblock can be as effective as a real one.&quot;<br /> - Eckhart Aurelius Hughes, from the book In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All
"An imaginary roadblock can be as effective as a real one."
- Eckhart Aurelius Hughes, from the book In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Hyfr Zack »

I don't know how to combine my school activities with work. I'm really having a hard time with this issue.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Budding Author »

I haven't read it yet. I'm currently reading a book for review. Once I'm done with that, then I am going to read the book "In It Together"
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Hyfr Zack wrote: September 12th, 2023, 6:51 am I don't know how to combine my school activities with work. I'm really having a hard time with this issue.
Can you re-phrase this a question? Or, even better, a series of a few different questions? That will help me better understand what exactly and specifically you are asking me.

Can also explain a bit what you mean by the word 'combine' in that context?

Typically, most people wouldn't want to combine their schoolwork and their paying job, but rather would want to separate them. For instance, typically you wouldn't want to answer work emails while in the middle of school lecture, nor do homework for school while on the clock for your job.
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Amanda Brouillette Gladden »

Hello Scot,

I've read your book and found so many helpful things but I have a question, or two. How do you handle when life gets in your way? Kids move back in, struggles at work, motivation, unexpected charges (both good and bad have a butterfly effect), and did I mention motivation? I think every time life happens, I feel set back, even the good things. Financially I don't feel stable; I question my value at my workplace; I see changes in all of my relationships. I try to keep the toxic out and focus on positive but sometimes it just doesn't work the way we expect. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the toxic person but I'm not, it is the unanticipated struggles life.

Thank you for taking the time to read, even if you don't respond.

Respectfully,

Amanda
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Post by Hy Be »

I have debt of $5000 accumulated due to student loan. I am deliberately looking to close as soon as possible. Another advice I am looking is on mental health. I just procrastinate to choose best among various opportunities.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by NENYE1999 »

I so much loved all that you have achieved. My question is how did you manage to get all parts of your life in order while en route to success. It seems like you had everything all planned out.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Amanda Brouillette Gladden wrote: September 22nd, 2023, 8:52 am Hello Scot,

I've read your book and found so many helpful things but I have a question, or two. How do you handle when life gets in your way? Kids move back in, struggles at work, motivation, unexpected charges (both good and bad have a butterfly effect), and did I mention motivation? I think every time life happens, I feel set back, even the good things. Financially I don't feel stable; I question my value at my workplace; I see changes in all of my relationships. I try to keep the toxic out and focus on positive but sometimes it just doesn't work the way we expect. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the toxic person but I'm not, it is the unanticipated struggles life.

Thank you for taking the time to read, even if you don't respond.

Respectfully,

Amanda
Hi, Amanda Brouillette Gladden,

Thank you for your question! :)

My exact answer would depend on exactly what you mean by the phrase "when life gets in your way".

To understand better, may I ask, as you use the terms, does life ever not get in your way?

In any case, right at the beginning of my book, on page 4, I wrote, "If the word “suffering” simply means having unfulfilled desire, then to be human is to suffer. [...] So long as you live as a human, you will have unfulfilled desires and unachieved goals, as the human body and mind will always want more and will invariably create new goals once old goals have been achieved. To be alive is in part to be at war and to struggle."

Another way of saying the same thing is to say that life is challenge. To be alive is to be constantly challenged.

In that sense of the words, having life in your way is simply what it means to be alive at all.

Life is like an endless boxing match, or an endless chess competition, or an endless marathon, against ever-harder and ever-tougher opponents. Life challenges you every day, and every day you will experience the "beautiful struggle" that is life itself, which in part means that generally every single day you will feel some pain, fear, and discomfort. And every single day you will be in a battle against death and a battle to fulfill your endless desires. Every day you will feel that feeling that is the feeling of having unfulfilled desires and unmet goals.

If "life being in my way" just means me being challenged in the ways I've described, then life is always in my way. Thus, to ask me what I do "when life gets in my way" is just to ask me what is it that I do every day of my life, since life is always in my way every day.

I think the best answer to that is given in my book, "In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All".

Thus, I do suggest you read it a second time if you haven't already read it twice.

Regardless, here is a a very relevant and short forum topic I wrote on this subject of the way life is always wonderfully challenging (a.k.a. the fact that life is always a beautiful struggle):

Life is challenge. Every single day life punches you in the face, repeatedly. That's what is so great about it!


To sum up, if what you mean by "life getting in my way" is what I mean by "life punching me in my face", then what I do when that happens is I smile and say, "thank you, Life!" :D

"Thank you, Life, for doing your best to punch me in my face, and often succeeding. Thank you, Life, for being a worthy opponent because if you were a less worthy (a.k.a. less tough or less challenging) opponent, I would be proportionally less happy due to the lack of challenge and the lack of having a worthy opponent. Thank you, Life, for constantly challenging me and never letting me rest for very long without a wake-up punch to the face. I love challenge! So thank you for constantly challenging me."

One of my favorite philosophers, Albert Camus, wrote that we must "imagine Sisyphus happy".


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott





one-must-imagine-Sisyphus-happy.jpg




---
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program, both for the free option and the paid option.
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Post by Faes »

How can I build my online presence and make it so strong that I attract a large audience of right connections.
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Hy Be wrote: September 23rd, 2023, 6:46 am I have debt of $5000 accumulated due to student loan. I am deliberately looking to close as soon as possible.
Hi, Hy Be,

Thank you for your questions! :)

For anyone in debt, I strongly recommend reading and following the advice in the book Debt Cleanse by Jorge P. Newbery. It's available in print, ebook, and audiobook.


View Debt Cleanse on Apple Audiobooks




With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott
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My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
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Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

NENYE1999 wrote: October 8th, 2023, 7:24 pm I so much loved all that you have achieved. My question is how did you manage to get all parts of your life in order while en route to success. It seems like you had everything all planned out.
Hi, NENYE1999,

Thank you for your question! :)

It's true that when going after goals and dreams, and dealing with life in general, I tend to treat it much more like chess than checkers. I do my best to stay many moves ahead.

If you compete with me (meaning this human we call Eckhart), you'll often have lost before you realize the game even started.

When two great chess players are sitting at the board playing, the games they are playing are not the ones we see. They are a superposition of future games they are playing. In the game they are playing, the checkmate often happens 20 or 30 moves before the onlookers notice or before anyone says "checkmate" aloud. I notice the checkmate and say, "checkmate", in my head to myself 20-30 moves before my mouth says the words aloud.

You can lose the game by not thinking ahead sufficiently or 'underthinking', so to speak.

However, clever strategizing isn't the only requirement to win, and if done beyond a certain optimal point it can hinder your chances or even become the reason you lose. Many people would call that "overthinking" or "over-strategizing". Indeed, you can imagine a chess player so obsessively overthinking and over-strategizing that he never actually makes a move and the clock runs out and he loses as a result.

Humans are beautifully diverse, but I'd say about 99 times out of 100, a human is going to be more prone to overthinking than underthinking, meaning to over-strategizing than under-strategizing.

In my topic, Man Is Not Fit to Govern Man, I wrote, in part, "The reality of humans isn't that they are bad at designing diets, but that they are bad at sticking to their own diets".

What good is an otherwise good plan if you don't stick to that plan?

Some people falsely idolize the plan and the planning.

It's like baking a cake: There's several ingredients you need. If you are missing any one, you can't make your cake. Avoiding both underthinking and overthinking is one ingredient (or two ingredients, depending on how you look at it). Another key ingredient is actually executing the plan and being consistent. You might need eggs to make your cake, but if you put in more than the optimal number of eggs you mess up your cake, and if you falsely idolize the plan and the planning, it's like making a cake with only eggs. It's not even a cake at all; it's just an eggy mess, of anxious thinking, typically called "overthinking".

However, in the lingo of my book, the kind of dedicated consistency that leads to great success might better be described as teamwork. That's because, in the lingo of my book, your so-called past and future selves are just as much of an 'other' as your others in space (e.g. your brothers, sisters, children, co-workers, neighbors across the street, etc.).

Thus, breaking the cyclical nature of addictions and abusive relationships (include self-abusive ones), and thereby achieving what is commonly called 'dedicated consistency', is really simply a form of loving, loyal cooperation between your selves over time, namely the older and younger versions of the human you see in the mirror. If Saturday-you and Monday-you are not on the same page about what you eat and drink and do, you will find yourself in a cycle of addiction, meaning in a toxically codependent abusive relationship with your selves over time.

Thus, we can re-phrase my earlier question:

What good is an otherwise good plan if your team isn't on board and refuses to execute it?

Without consistent cooperation and loyalty between the different-timed versions of your self, the plan is useless.

You cannot make up for lack of execution with better planning, but, in contrast, you can typically make up for poorer planning with more consistent, dedicated, loyal execution of the plan. Generally speaking, a mediocre plan that's executed beats a great plan that isn't executed.

If one person on a team has a great plan, it's useless if it's only an idea the rest of the team refuses to follow. Even if you are the only human on Earth, you are on a team, a big team, with your selves over time: Saturday-you, Sunday-you, Monday-you, Next-Year-you, etc.

Loyalty, consistency, addiction-transcendence (i.e. spiritual freedom, a.k.a. self-discipline), and love (especially self-love) trump great planning.

Thus, life is not merely like chess, but rather it's more like a mixture of chess and a marathon. You don't need to be the fastest runner, the best runner, or the smartest runner/player; None of that matters if you are more consistent, meaning if your team is more loyal and dedicated and cooperative with each other.

For example, consider the simple common goal of weight loss. You don't need to design the best diet to be the best at dieting. Generally, any diet works if you stick to it. Even with an exceptionally unsophisticated and/or exceptionally poorly designed diet, you will out-diet 99.999% of dieters if you simply have consistency, loyalty, dedication, and self-discipline (a.k.a. spiritual freedom). That's just one fun example of infinite. Whatever your long-term goal, and thus whatever success means for you, that is the main key. Coming up with a super great plan is not the main key. Planning, strategizing, and thinking in general is not the most important thing. In fact, most humans' roadblock is so-called overthinking, not underthinking.

In short, the main key isn't the quality of the plan you create right now, it's with whether or not you actually execute that plan, and how consistent and dedicated you are, meaning how well and loyally you cooperate with your selves over time, in the sense of true love and free-spirited loyalty, without abuse, oppressive imposition, freedom-infringement, or toxic codependency.

That subject is the main subject of my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.

So, for those looking to have a more cooperative loving relationship with their selves over time, and thereby become an incredibly more consistent, dedicated, and successful human, my advice is to read my book at least twice.

If you understand every sentence of that book as I do, and you truly believe every sentence of that book to be true as I do, and you do your best to implement all of the suggestions in the book, namely the 11 numbered suggestions at the end, then I am sure you will quickly feel like your life has a type of divine plan to it. You will succeed at even wild huge goals with infinite ease and grace. Then, other humans will be asking you how you managed to plan it out and organize all the puzzle pieces and to so perfectly line up your stars and consistently achieve such incredible results in so many different fields and aspects of your life.

You can do it. :)


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott


chess-2.jpg
chess.jpg
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Re: Public Q&A for My Mentees (or Anyone Who Wants My Advice) -- If you want my advice about anything, post your Qs here

Post by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes »

Faes wrote: October 10th, 2023, 5:01 am How can I build my online presence and make it so strong that I attract a large audience of right connections.
Hi, Faes,

Thank you for your question.

The easiest way is to buy advertising.

I don't recommend buying email addresses, leads, or followers. Typically, those are just useless junk, or in other words 'snake oil'.

Instead, you want to buy legit advertising, and then measure the success of that advertising indirectly by the number of new subscribers that advertising gets you.

It's best to sample advertising from several different sources, A/B test them against each other, and then re-invest gradually higher and higher in the advertisers that provide the best bang for the buck.

In other words, when you buy advertising, you want to measure its effectiveness in a way that the person from whom you are buying it cannot easily fake.

Remember: Quality matters more than quantity. It's better to spend $100 on good advertising that offers better bang per buck than spend $10 on junk advertising or something that just offers less bang per buck due to the economy of scale.


With all that said, there is an important caveat: 99% of marketing is product development. Great advertising only makes a bad product fail faster. So everything I said above is predicated on the premise that you already have great content (or some other product/service) that is the absolute best of its kind in your niche. In other words, it's predicated on the premise that you have something truly worth advertising.

Please do let me know if you have any other questions about this or anything! :)


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott




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My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.

"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."

I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.
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Post by Surabhi Rani »

I have a question about Review Team Guidelines. Kindly direct me where can I ask.
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Post by Witch Cavil »

How do we take that next step to achieving our goals in life. How do we achieve that success.
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