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Priyankan Nayak wrote: ↑January 1st, 2024, 6:21 am
Hi Scott
First of all, wishing you a very happy new year to you and your family. I would like to know what you do when you feel alone, despite everyone being present around you. How do you maintain yourself in those lonely times?
Hi,
Priyankan Nayak,
Thank you for question!
I think it has been many years since the last time I ever felt lonely, especially in the sense of feeling lonely while physically close to people, meaning while literally having people around and not actually being physically alone. Nonetheless, I understand deeply the feeling you describe because in my much younger years there were many times when I
felt deeply lonely even in a crowded room. But I have not felt that way in many years.
So I cannot answer your question exactly as asked because the simple answer is I never feel that way anymore.
The reason I never feel that way anymore is because I discovered the truths that I share in my book,
In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All. In other words, I found invincible free-spirited inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness), and now I get to enjoy that incredible liberation and inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness) every minute of every day of my life, no matter what happens externally or what bodily feelings I happen to be experiencing at any given moment (e.g. hunger, discomfort, sexual arousal, pain, sleepiness, etc.). I notice and watch these external events including bodily feelings as a happy interested viewer might watch a dramatic movie, or like one watches unique clouds passing by overhead, some stormy and some light and fluffy.
By being in touch with my eternal essence (i.e. the unchanging spirit that is one with all), I have a literal sense of invincibility towards the inevitable ups and downs of life, and the inexorable perfect yin-yang balance of such things, in the same way a wise movie-viewer has a sense of invincibility towards the movie. No matter how dramatic or scary or sad it gets, it can't really hurt you, not
the real you. From that sense of transcendence and invincibility, you then tend to have a totally opposite relationship to these kinds of things (fear, pain, discomort, etc.), the same way someone who understands the movie can't hurt them might therefore prefer an even scarier or more dramatic movie. Nowadays when I get to experience inevitable so-called "negative" emotions such as pain, fear, or extreme hunger, I mostly think to myself, "Oh, how interesting." I notice and look at the feeling like one might look an abstract piece of art.
Just as one who is deprived of food may feel literal physical hunger, one who is deprived of human contact may feel what we can call physical loneliness, both of which (physical hunger and physical loneliness) are very comparable to pain, fear, and other forms of discomfort. However, I suspect that's not what you are talking about, because you mention feeling it even when people are around. Instead, I would describe what you are talking about as a spiritual loneliness or spiritual hunger. It's the kind of deep longing that persists no matter how much you eat or indulge in addictions or material comforts such as sex or the high a gambling addict feels when gambling or that an obsessive attention-seeker gets when their social post goes viral.
May I ask if you have read my book,
In It Together?
Here is a relevant quote from page 112 of
In It Together:
In It Together (Page 112) wrote:If you ask an ultra-wealthy person the right questions, once they finish wiping their butt with their gold toilet paper, they will generally admit they feel a hole inside—and not the one they just finished wiping, but rather a spiritual hole. They may indulge and indulge in their own bodily urges and addictions in an attempt to fill that spiritual hole. But no amount of fancy clothes or luxury cars will fill that hole. No amount of social media likes or sexual partners will fill that hole. No amount of drugs or alcohol will fill that hole. No amount of dietary success will fill that hole. Neither overeating food nor having a chiseled beach body will fill that hole. You can overeat literal or figurative food to the point of morbid obesity but it will not fill that hole. No amount of food will alleviate spiritual hunger. No matter how much you feed the body and ego, it will only get hungrier. In terms of that figurative hunger, the greedy always starve, damned to a living hell of their own insatiability.
Someone with that kind of spiritual hole, which most people have, will still feel spiritually hungry (i.e. unfulfilled) no matter how much they eat, and they will still feel lonely and unfulfilled even in a crowded room full of people.
Perhaps what you are feeling as loneliness in a crowded room could be more accurately generalized metaphorically as a spiritual hole in your heart that you wish to fulfill. But that fulfillment won't come from attention on social media, from fame, from money, from having lots of sex, from having lots of boyfriends or girlfriends or even from having lots of platonic friends. No amount of physical or material comfort will provide that kind of fulfillment. In fact, quite the opposite! The more you desperately indulge in those kinds of things in a desperate futile attempt to be fulfilled, the more poignant the lack of spiritual fulfillment and thus the more unfulfilled you will feel.
In other words, when you futilely attempt to achieve
inner peace by chasing
externals, you feel even less inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness) and feel even more spiritually unfulfilled (i.e. spiritually unhappy).
The more you mistake comfort or emotional highs (e.g. the high an addict feels when indulging their addiction) as happiness, and thus desperately chase it in a futile attempt to achieve true happiness, the more unhappy you will be, in the sense of lacking the true happiness that is invincible free=spirited inner peace.
My advice to you is to carefully read (or re-read) my book,
In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All. Then do your absolute best to follow all eleven of the suggestions at the end, day in and day out, every single day. Then you will have invincible free-spirited inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness), and then you won't feel lonely in a crowded room anymore.
You will instead feel happily at one with the universe and with your timeless eternal true self, the real essence of you independent of any of your varying forms and different ever-changing outfits, meaning what some would call your spirit or soul, or really the singular uniting spirit or soul of the entire timeless universe and all of reality itself.
With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott
Neither money, fame, friends, attention, nor sex can give you inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness). neither-money-fame-friends-attention-nor-sex-can-give-you-inner-peace.png (841.85 KiB) Viewed 59300 times
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In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.
My entire political philosophy summed up in one tweet.
"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."
I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.