"How do you decide how to respond to or react to something when it happens to or around you?"
Most things I either ignore, or just passively appreciate without external action.
For most things, any reaction would be an overreaction, and any thinking about it would be overthinking.
Life is like being at a huge store with infinite different things on the shelves that you could buy, and you only have a few dollars in your pocket and can only buy a small handful at most. You have to invest $0 in most things. You have to say no to almost all of them. Your only choice is which tiny few you make an exception for, and you are only able to make very few exceptions. The opportunity cost of any one thing is effectively infinite. Even the smallest purchase, or the smallest yes, is so huge and so incredibly and extremely expensive in terms of the opportunity cost.
You can only think about and/or respond to and/or react to so very few things, so be very careful and very stingy about which few things you choose to make one of those few things because by saying yes to one, you say no to countless others that may be more worth your very limited time, very limited money, and very limited energy.
This topic is covered in more detail in my book, most notably in the chapter titled "Do Less Better".
An important aspect of understanding this topic is to realize that things like acceptance, forgiveness, non-hatefulness, non-resentment, non-judgementalism and so on are all null actions. They are examples of not only doing less better but, even more, in and of themselves, examples of doing nothing and the incredible power of doing nothing.
In fact, to clarify that, you will notice I often don't say things like "I recommend you forgive them and accept them as they are," because—even though that's true—it could unintentionally reinforce the illusion that such things are actual actions rather than null actions. Instead, I'll say a sentence that means the exact same thing, but that more clearly references that I am recommending you don't take action and don't spend any one of those very few incredibly valuable proverbial dollars in your pocket that you have in the proverbial giant store: "I recommend you do not engage in any resentment or unforgiveness or hate, not at all, not even the slightest. Don't invest even one tiny bit of your very limited time or energy in it, ever. Completely and 100% abstain from it."
My book (and system for huge incredible success and happiness) is less about telling people what to do or think, but rather about telling them what to not do and not think. It's less about recommending what they do buy and spend their proverbial money on, and more about simply telling them what to not buy, what to not think about, and what not to spend their time and money on.
And those tend to be things that most people are spending 99.99%+ of their time, money, and energy.
So when you take my advice, you suddenly feel 10,000 times richer.
You feel like you have 10,000 times as much money. You feel like you have 10,000 times as much energy. You feel like you have 10,000 times as much power. You will feel and be so incredibly powerful that you will at least feel like you are supernatural and supernaturally powerful, if not come to actually believe it. You will feel like a god walking amongst men with infinite grace and gracefulness. Or, if you believe in a literal God, you will feel like a chosen one, as if you have been specially selected to be anointed as one in a million by God, perhaps one in a billion, one who has and basks in a type of grace that 99.999%+ of humans never get to even taste for a second—because they choose not to.
That kind of grace, invincible inner peace, unwavering true happiness, and incredible and seemingly supernatural power are choices available to all. Anyone can have it if they simply and honestly choose to have it. But most won't, and most don't. It costs $0 and takes 0 time and 0 energy, mainly because it comes from the art of learning to (1) do less better, namely by (2) often exercising the incredible power of doing nothing and (3) never ever trying or lying, at least in the sense of lying to oneself or lying to the God you believe in or lying to the universe or mother nature or such if instead of believing in a literal God you like to personify the universe or nature as a whole. It's not so much about what you call that indescribable undeniable spirit to which you would lie, but rather about not lying to it. I just like to call it the real you.
I'm not saying I do (or don't) believe in God, but I am saying this: If there is a God, I believe that God is (in one sense) in you, and (in another sense) that God is you.
It's in one of the two yous, and it is the other of the two yous.
And if you don't know what that means, you haven't read my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.
In many ways, the more you do, the more you struggle and seem to fail. The less you do, the more you win and succeed.
When one follows the teachings of my book, those other humans around look at you like you are so incredibly successful that you must be magical. The jealous haters and miserably trapped inert addicts will call you arrogant, narcissistic, greedy, selfish, and (perhaps most insulting and important of all) lucky. But most will beg you to show them your ways or to bless them with your charity. When you look in the mirror, you will almost certainly see the kind of pseudo-success they see, such as incredible growing financial wealth, incredible results with your fitness goals, and a huge grinning literal smile filled with love and happiness. Granted, the best smiles come from the eyes, not the mouth, so even when your mouth is closed or your teeth are gritted while you bravely and stoically endure a welcomed challenge, you'll still see that massive grinning loving smile in the eyes that you see in that mirror. If you believe in a literal God, you will likely feel as if it were God himself looking back at you with a loving smile because there's so much love of such a deep and unconditional nature there.
But you will also see the other kind of success when you look in that mirror. You will see what I call true success, and you will see that when you look in the mirror because you will see it everywhere. Everywhere you look—left, right, up, down—you will see lovable successful beauty. You will say, like I do, "Everything and everyone is a lovable beautiful success." Those eyes in the mirror will look at you like that and always reliably look at you like that because that's how they look at everything.
You'll see that kind of success in the mirror because you'll see that kind of success everywhere.
And then you'll notice that all that superficial abundance you also see in the mirror, meaning that other kind of success that you see in the mirror to an incredible degree, is a symptom of true success.
Then you will know exactly what I mean when I say, "Money doesn't buy happiness, but true happiness buys money".
With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.
"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master."
I believe spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) manifests as bravery, confidence, grace, honesty, love, and inner peace.