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[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I get this question a lot. I suspect the people asking it are speaking very unclearly and mean something else that I can't understand.

Taken as written, the answer would usually be that I have never been in situation XYZ and never would be.

For example, someone might ask me this:

"What do you do when you are in the middle of your OBGYN exam and your doctor farts?"

The answer is that I have never been in that situation and never would be since I am a biological male and don't get OBGYN exams.

Sure, I could take wild guesses about what the person does mean to ask, but then--among other issues--I would be violating [url=viewtopic.php?f=56&t=19047my own advice about mind-reading and toxically unassertive communication[/url].


Here is a rough summary of that advice:

They don't think what you think they think.

They don't feel what you feel they feel.

You are not good at mind-reading, and neither are they.

You are not good at reading between the lines, and neither are they.


In any case, even if the person does mean to ask about me and what I do when I am in that situation, that information would likely not help them. One man's trash is another man's treasure. For example, someone with a peanut allergy might ask me, "What do you usually do when you see a delicious-looking peanut butter sandwich?" I'd respond, "I eat it." If they then decide to mimic me as if me saying what I do is advice or a recommendation, then they would almost instantly die.

What's going to be best for one human (e.g. you) isn't going to be what's best for another human (e.g. me).

Granted, in that sense, I am using the words 'you' and 'me' to refer to our unreal selves, meaning our egos or personas. I am referring to two different humans, the human we call you and the human we call me.

In terms of the real you and the real me, I am you, and you are me. That is addressed by a teaching from page 156 of my book, In It Together:

If you were fully in their shoes, you would do exactly as they do.

What would I do if I was in the same exact situation as you were, I would do exactly what you did. And, in the deepest and truest sense, I was and I did.

What will I do if I wake up in your body tomorrow morning with your memories and your bodily feelings and urges? I'll do exactly what you will do when you wake up in that body tomorrow. And, in fact, those aren't two different scenarios, because (in terms of the real you and I), I am you and you are me.

We wake up in your body tomorrow, and we wake up in my body tomorrow. When and where we are in my body, we have this body's memories, tastes, preferences, and urges. When and where we wake up in what this body calls your body, then we have that body's memories, tastes, preferences, and urges.

What's best for one body is different than what's best for another. What's preferred by and thus preferably for one body is different than what's preferred by and preferable by another body.




With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes