Consistent inner peace (i.e. what some would call "true happiness" or "nirvana") is obtained in large part by the combination of the following two facts:
1. When it comes to your choices, you always get exactly what you want, meaning what you choose.
2. Shamelessly knowing the above is true.
Nightmares don't need to be real to torture us, and--I believe--they never are. While #1 is always true for every conscious being, inner peace is sacrificed by the person who is deceived (typically via denial or self-deception) into not acknowledging its truth.
There is a great inner peace that comes with thinking--and knowing--that we are always getting exactly what we want (i.e. choose). There is a great loving consistent inner peace that comes with being able to honestly and proudly say, "I do only what I want to do, and I don't ever do what I don't want to do."
There is great inner peace in taking full responsibility for our choices by acknowledging our spiritual freedom.
Likewise, there is a loss of inner peace that comes with any illusion we are not getting what we want when it comes to our choices.
Those who have not read the book In It Together will likely misunderstand some of the above. This is because they won't be familiar with the concept of "The Two Yous" from the book.
For those who read the book, you will understand that I am talking about the real me when I say "I do only what I want to do, and I don't ever do what I don't want to do.".
If it is not a choice I--the real me--am making, then it is not something I am doing.
For example, in the sense of the real me, I don't beat my heart. My heart beats, but I am not the one doing it. In the same sense, if uncontrollable thoughts pop in my human brain, then that is not something I am doing. I consciously experience those things, but they aren't (always) something I--the real me--am doing. There is a difference between watching a movie, and making the movie. You are not so much the one who thinks the thoughts, but the one who hears the thoughts. When it comes to your mind's thoughts, you are not so much the speaker but rather the listener.
Whatever it is, if it is not in my control, it is not something I--the real me--am doing.
As another example, my body's feelings (e.g. pain, sensual pleasure, hunger, discomfort, etc.) are typically not something I am choosing and are typically not in my control. Like the verbal thoughts popping up in the brain, they are something I consciously experience, but not something I am doing. I am not my body's feelings. I don't do my feelings.
If the feelings and thoughts are the movie, I am generally one who watches that movie, but usually not the one making that movie. The choice to watch the movie is in some sense a choice you do make and thus is something you are doing; As the philosopher Albert Camus claimed, "There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Deciding whether or not life is worth living is to answer the fundamental question in philosophy."
I think life is worth living, very much so. Call it a proverbial movie or a proverbial roller coaster, but when I consider all the yin-yang-balanced ups and downs (e.g. comfort vs discomfort) that themselves balance out to a net zero, the sum--the yin-yang as a whole--is not zero, and is not less than zero. It is a net positive. It is better than any boring single-colored circle could be. Reality as a singular holistic whole is better than nothing. Nothing is boring. What many falsely imagine as heaven is boring, a boring nothingness where nothing happens, a boring single-colored circle. Reality as a whole, with its yin and its yang together, has a duality-transcending beauty and goodness that is not balanced in a yin-yang way and is not itself dualistic. It is the lovely one hidden behind the two, and made possible by the two, and by the way two play together. So, I repeat, I think life is worth living, very much so.
Choosing to live is something I am doing, and I know it, and I know I only do what I want, and that too brings great inner peace.
Like all of us, the only thing I directly do is make choices. Granted, as a corollary of that, anything that is an intentional intended result of my choices in my present can be described as something I am doing and choosing. Anything that is not a matter of my choice is not something I am doing.
When it comes to my choices, I always get exactly what I want, meaning what I choose. And I know it, and thus I have inner peace.
Imagine you have the choice between A and B. If you choose A, then A it is. If you choose B, then B it is.
Thus, as I use the terms, if you have a choice between A and B, you get exactly what you want, meaning what you choose. If you choose/want B, you get B. If you choose/want A, you get A.
Thus, the fact is that, like me, "you only do what you want to do, and don't ever do what you don't want to do." That fact is always true. But inner peace comes not only from the truth of it but also from proudly and lovingly knowing that it is true. One is given to you whether you like it or not; the other is there for the taking simply via the choice to be honest.
However, as humans, we are very good at generating all sorts of smoke and mirrors. These deceiving smoke and mirrors make the simple seem complex. Those deceiving smoke and mirrors can make the logically undeniable seem counter-intuitive or somehow untrue. Those many deceiving smoke and mirrors can make it seem like we are not getting what we want (i.e. choose) when it comes to our choices, even though we absolutely do. Those kind of deceiving smoke and mirrors can make even the most heavenly heaven seem like a hell.
Miserable self-deceivers lacking inner peace will be miserable even in the most heavenly of heavens.
Inner-peace-stealing illusions can come in many forms, and typically must be a form of self-deception (i.e. dishonesty or denial). The textbook alcoholic might say, "I want to maintain my sobriety, but I need a drink; I have to have a drink." I say that's all nonsense, and that kind of nonsense makes the truly simple seem falsely complex.
Alternatively, he might with terrible inner-peace-stealing shame say, "I ought to not drink", as he lifts the drink to his mouth. I say that's all nonsense, and that kind of nonsense makes the truly simple seem falsely complex.
He might say, "I don't want to take a drink right now, but I am a slave to the alcohol," as he lifts glass to his mouth. To the degree he is right, he lacks what I call spiritual freedom.
He might say, "I don't want to take a comforting drink right now, but I am a prisoner to the comfort zone that for me is alcohol," as he lifts the glass to his mouth. To the degree he is right, then he lacks what I call spiritual freedom.
But, in an important sense, as I explain in the book, such a lack of spiritual freedom is always at some level an illusion, or at least the result of illusion, and typically such illusions are generated by or enabled by dishonesty and lying to oneself. Voltaire said, "Man is free at the moment he chooses to be."
For those who have very loud talkative minds, or who are not practiced in the art of meditation, there may be even more smoke and mirrors to see through, or the smoke and mirrors may in a sense be that much harder to see through.
Regardless, all smoke and mirrors aside, the simple and logically undeniable reality is that when it comes to our choices we always get exactly what we want, meaning what we choose, and with everything, it is what it is. Nothing real is worth resenting. Nothing unchangeable 'ought' to be different than it unchangeably is, so much so that I think of even the word 'ought' itself as meaningless nonsense, just one of many unreal nightmarish smoke and mirrors that can make one miserable in this heavenly beautiful reality in which we find ourselves. It is a heavenly beautiful reality that--for the honest--warrants nothing but unconditional duality-transcending love, appreciation, and inner peace.
In reality, life is so worth living. I am so happy this beautiful eternal reality exists rather than nothing. That happiness is true happiness. And that is inner peace.
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